He works abroad and said the girls there are really attractive

[JoSwiss1212]

AIBU - Probably am

Boyfriend of 1yr and a half (hes 25, i"m 23) works abroad.
He goes away for 2 weeks, comes home for 2.
He came back and told me the girls are really attractive where he is and on night outs they always want to talk to him but he tells them he has a girlfriend.
Aibu to feel a bit insecure about this?

You sound yummy. 10x better than a tall blonde IMHO

Absolutely no need to drag other women @Mordred

OP he sounds like a complete dick, ltb.

This wouldn't even be acceoptable behaviour if he was fourteen. At 25 it's ridiculously immature. He might think these things, but to actually say them, out loud, to a person he's supposed to love?

At base it means he doesn't think of your feelings. Which is not a great thing in a boyfriend.

I do agree with everyone who is saying that at your age (23) there is plenty of time for you to find someone who loves you for what you're like as a person.

Actually - no woman, of any age, should be with a man (or woman) who makes remarks such as your BF makes. It is unkind and immature and you could no doubt do better elsewhere.

I had an ex in my early 20s who said this sort of thing. It didn't make me feel insecure (I didn't believe him!) but reading this thread has made me realise what his aim was. He was quite jealous and controlling himself and was probably hoping I would feel jealous too. I'm glad I got rid of him.

My sneaky thought is that it sounds like he's cheating and wants to make you seem insecure so he can make you out as crazy if you question it.
That may just be my tendency to overthink, but either way he's a douchebag anyway to say that to his girlfriend, even if it's purely innocent in his mind.

He's also said he was just winding me up and he said it's not as if he was "wacking the girls away with his penis

If a man said this to me I'd show him the meat-mincer he could "whack with his penis" if it was long enough.

...he said it’s not as if he was wacking the girls away with his penis

I’d ditch him for that alone, seriously. Ugh!

You can do better than this tool

He sounds like such an arse.

Scandinavia is known worldwide for having the best looking people.

Make sure that your happiness does not depend on him. Be happy anyway.

And if he starts treating you like shit. Get out. Life is very short. You will regret time you wasted on any man that does not trear you well. Because therr are good men out there

Assuming he looks like a mix of Alexander skarsgard/dolph lundgren?

@angel24

Is it? How can it be, everyone finds different people attractive. I’ve lived and worked all over the world (still do) and I can honestly say that everywhere has its fair share of attractive, average & plain people.

Throw this prince back OP. Let the leggy ladies of NooneReallyFanciesHimLand have him.

Very immature, you're only 23 please don't waste any more time trying to rationalise what he's said.... it's irrelevant which nation has the best looking people
It's just not a conversation I would be having with my partner. I would lose respect for him. Please rethink, and think about how he's making you feel. It's cruel x

Scandinavia is known worldwide for having the best looking people

:o :o :o :o Admittedly DH is scandinavian and I think he's pretty sexy. But I can assure you this is just good marketing. Scandinavian people look like any other nationality of people, they're very normal looking! I know, I live here.

Definitely don’t ask him about your looks again and if you “qualify” as good looking.

Instead I’d put the shoe on the other foot.

“Just wanted to let you know, boyfriend, that a really hot new guy came into the office this week. Omg he’s so good looking. Almost can’t stop thinking about him. He smiled and said hello to me today, stopped by my desk and asked me my name. I think he might like me, what do you think?”

Now.... is this something you’d do?

Probably not. But just do it anyway. Then once he looks like his nose is severely out of joint you can own up and say, ‘just wanted to let you know we can both play the game of “other people are sexy and interested” but if you want to be kind, let’s not do that to each other shall we?’

Have to say he sounds a bit immature. Not sure he’s a keeper at all. Wouldn’t base long term hopes around him. His coded message = shit there are lots of hot girls out there I want to screw. But I won’t do it.....yet.

Eh... is your boyfriend very good looking? If we are talking Sweden, Swedish men tend to work out more than English men and eat much more healthy. We had a big team Scandinavian team where I worked, men were SO good looking. His chances might not be that high with the locals as he thinks. You should go and visit and droll over the men

@FloconDeNeige I think that many people find the tall, blonde look attractive.

For example, Irish men have just won some competition for being the ugliest men in Europe, for being short and pale.

"Tall" is universally attractive. "Blonde" is universally attractive.

You can't fix his issues but you can fix how you respond.
I would respond by not wasting my time and my twenties with a man who makes me feel anything less than wonderful.
Good luck OP/

He sounds insecure, as if he's actually very concerned about what you might be doing while he's away, and giving you cause to believe he's surrounded by stunning women who are all agog at his amazing self. The latter sounds extremely unlikely.

I think he's trying to provoke you into having a row with you.

Then he can rationalise being unfaithful (in his head, anyway).

I would bin him.

Do you want to run the risk of having a daughter with a man who has this attitude towards women?

He sounds like a twat, set him free to find the perfect girl over there

Damntheman, I was never very attracted to looks to be honest (had a few very bright, slightly overweight boyfriends and is now very happily married), but I was working in a male dominated industry and the girls were always swooning over the Scandinavian men...

I have to say, Scandinavian men are more equal as well, more prone to do chores and less likely to be found in the pub. If your boyfriend is a typical English guy, whatever Scandinavian woman he think is cute, may not see him as a catch... just putting that out there....

I was in a 5 year relationship with a man (English) who was working in Copenhagen when I first started seeing him. At various points in our relationship, he spent 6 month stints working in Denmark. I used to visit a lot. The women there are quite stunning - and some of them quite forward. At no point did he ever make the kind of comments to me that the OP's boyfriend does. Did I ever feel insecure? No, not in the slightest. Because my then boyfriend wasn't a dick.

OP these are red flags. You deserve better than this. Maybe your boyfriend is insecure himself but he's trying to make himself feel better at your expense. That's not the kind of man you want to be in a relationship with. Move on. Find someone who appreciates you and who doesn't try to mess with your head.