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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not had a text from him yet?

192 replies

Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:40

So I’ve had two really good dates with this guy (i think they were good). After the first date, well even on it he was tipsy and saying he had a really good time and would like to see again. On his way home texting similar and the next day we arranged the second date for the following weekend.

Had the second date which i thought was really nice, spent about 6 hours together until late and kissed. He did wrap this date up as he said he was up early and it was early hours. Now he hasnt been in touch at all and this was on friday night.

Do people think that perhaps he’s not as keen? My friends seem to think its not a good sign and usually I’m relaxed about things like this but actually really liked him so it is bothering me which i know is a bit needy, so please give me impartial advice on whether to just forget about him and get some other dates liked up? Basically am i being unreasonable to have expected a text from him if he is keen?

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 01/03/2020 18:42

Why haven't you text him?

BelieveInPeople · 01/03/2020 18:43

Have you texted him? Was he up early because he was working or going away? Hard to say really

Strongmummy · 01/03/2020 18:44

text him and ask

Original poster
Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:44

I know its playing games a bit but I feel like it might come across needy? My sister and friends have all encouraged that view really and said it to keep my pride which i think is a bit silly but think he might be kindly showing hes not keen so could be embarrassing to text?

OP posts:
Original poster
Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:44

He was up early for gym as hes training for something and then a stag thing

OP posts:
Hellohellohi · 01/03/2020 18:44

It’s not a great sign , but it’s only been two dates. Maybe text him ?

user1464279374 · 01/03/2020 18:45

I used to hate games with texting... it's not the best sign as I find it quite rude when someone doesn't. But like the above posters say, I would text him and then you'll quickly have your answer!

Hellohellohi · 01/03/2020 18:45

I would text personally

WhiteBadger · 01/03/2020 18:45

Nope!!! Don't don't don't text!!!

He's just not that into you.

:(

TheTrollFairy · 01/03/2020 18:46

Why not just text him? How is it looking keen to send a message ‘hey, how are you’

WhiteBadger · 01/03/2020 18:47

Oh it was only Friday? Plenty time yet.

Def don't text! If he's interested, he'll text! Don't text him!!

strawberry2017 · 01/03/2020 18:47

And this is why so many relationships never work out because to many women expect the men to text first and then if he doesn't it must be because he's not that in to you.

Such childish logic. If you like someone text them. Don't play games.

Yesmate · 01/03/2020 18:48

If he’s gone on a stag you won’t here from him until at least tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday depending on how heavy it gets. Try to relax, dating should be fun

coconuttelegraph · 01/03/2020 18:49

How can you be unreasonable that he hasn't texted Confused

Hellohellohi · 01/03/2020 18:50

I don’t get games -if a man is interested he is hardly going to be bothered if she texts. Forget pride and text :)

Original poster
Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:51

I guess i mean unreasonable in expecting it and stupidly sat around worrying about it! Its because it is very out of character for me im usually easy going with dating, but think i got a good feeling about him so i guess i just know i’ll be a little upset if he now just ghosts me

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 01/03/2020 18:52

I think he went on the stag had way too much to drink and is quietly nursing a hangover and watching Netflix.
Wait until Mon/Tue and DONT text him

Frownette · 01/03/2020 18:53

You're not his whole life, you've only just met him - he may have had a busy weekend

WhiteBadger · 01/03/2020 18:54

Strawberry2017 are you currently in a relationship? If you are, how long for?

It's not games by not texting. It's common sense. Why chase after someone? You're setting the relationship to fail. I wish I could shout this from the rooftops, if he fancies you, he will text you!!

If you chase him, you'll spend the whole relationship playing the pick me dance.

Everyone deserves someone who wants to see them, to text them, to spend time with them.

Chickychoccyegg · 01/03/2020 18:54

Honestly, just text him , he would've been up late last night, and feeling rough today, no games, nothing even slightly wrong about you texting him, your sister and friends are being very silly and giving you terrible advice, what if he's sat at home thinking you're not into him because you never text him?

pinksoda35 · 01/03/2020 18:54

well if he was training in the Gym and then on a stag do then that probably explains why he has not text..(however I do think a quick text is always easily slipped into a day so it isn't really an excuse)Some people are just not bothered and it HAS only been two dates!

Lllot5 · 01/03/2020 18:54

It’s only Sunday. If he went to gym and the stag thing I wouldn’t expect anything until Monday at least.
For god’s sake don’t start sitting about fretting after two dates. He can’t be that great you don’t know him.

Sunshine1235 · 01/03/2020 18:55

How do you know he’s not thinking you’re not interested because you haven’t text?

Chickychoccyegg · 01/03/2020 18:56

Its not chasing to text someone, how ridiculous, one text, if he doesnt reply, he's not into you, or he might be glad you text him.

Original poster
Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:57

Ahh such mixed advice, but I’ve just bitten the bullet and texted so we shall see.. i am aware how silly i sound, like a teenager again

And yes very true don't know him that well but he’s probably the first person I’ve felt proper interest in for a while so thats maybe why

OP posts: