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Original poster

To have not had a text from him yet?

192 replies

Thursday12 · 01/03/2020 18:40

So I’ve had two really good dates with this guy (i think they were good). After the first date, well even on it he was tipsy and saying he had a really good time and would like to see again. On his way home texting similar and the next day we arranged the second date for the following weekend.

Had the second date which i thought was really nice, spent about 6 hours together until late and kissed. He did wrap this date up as he said he was up early and it was early hours. Now he hasnt been in touch at all and this was on friday night.

Do people think that perhaps he’s not as keen? My friends seem to think its not a good sign and usually I’m relaxed about things like this but actually really liked him so it is bothering me which i know is a bit needy, so please give me impartial advice on whether to just forget about him and get some other dates liked up? Basically am i being unreasonable to have expected a text from him if he is keen?

OP posts:
Lampan · 01/03/2020 19:30

There’s nothing wrong with texting him. Just once, mind.
I really don’t know why people think it’s bad to show interest in someone! As long as you do it in a measured way and walk away if it’s not reciprocated.
But always keep dating until you have had a conversation with someone about where things are going.

WhiteBadger · 01/03/2020 19:39

@shamazing

Because dating is even more complicated and shit that it was in the 80's!

You can date someone but then you have to have the "Are we exclusive" conversation. What the fuck is that all about. It's like the shit America teen thing where people are dating several people at once. For the record .... I don't!!

So as a PP said. If a date is really really keen on they will text quite soon. If they're not keen or just looking for casual dating and sex, they won't text as regular.

Some of the posters on here will argue that's not true and it's not equal. And it makes me mad too, and when I got back in the dating game after over 20 years of marriage. I was shocked at the difference. I used to text first, believe me, when I first started dating. But learned quickly, if a man is interested he will get back to you quickly.

Eckhart · 01/03/2020 19:40

@WhiteBadger Why chase someone?

Sending a text isn't chasing. If they both find each other attractive and neither texts, the relationship ends. One of them has to say something.

OP, it's only Sunday and he's been to a stag do. You wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't have an independent life of their own, would you?

DingleberryRose · 01/03/2020 19:43

I’m of the opinion that if a man is into you, you’re left in absolutely no doubt.

YawnYawnYawnYawnzy · 01/03/2020 19:44

Friday as in last Friday? And hes had a stag do? Give the poor guy a chance!

YawnYawnYawnYawnzy · 01/03/2020 19:44

He's

speakout · 01/03/2020 19:45

Good luck OP.

Frownette · 01/03/2020 19:45

He might even be asleep - I get tired out after a busy weekend and catch up on rest

WinterCat · 01/03/2020 19:46

I would have suggested texting as well. I hope he relies to you soon, OP.

slashlover · 01/03/2020 19:46

So as a PP said. If a date is really really keen on they will text quite soon. If they're not keen or just looking for casual dating and sex, they won't text as regular.

So if OP doesn't text then can he assume that she's not keen or just looking for casual dating and sex? Or is it only men who act that way, or must be assumed to do so?

mrsdede · 01/03/2020 19:48

I'm a firm believer of if he likes you, you'll know. Takes a second to send a text and after two dates that's gone well, you'd have entered his mind. Regardless what year it is, men are normally upfront with something they like, and women try to act less interested. Rightly or wrongly.

Oysterbabe · 01/03/2020 19:50

I would have text too. Let us know if / when he replies.

FrockFrockFrockityFrock · 01/03/2020 19:51

Curious what he texts back but all in all I think it's the weekend and a reply isn't late at this point. Not yet.

Shamazing · 01/03/2020 19:51

So as a PP said. If a date is really really keen on they will text quite soon. If they're not keen or just looking for casual dating and sex, they won't text as regular.

I have to say, that's not my experience at all @WhiteBadger (thank god). I do think it depends on what is texted though, there's a big difference between a 'how's it going' text and a 'I haven't seen you for 2 days and I miss you' text IYKWIM.

FrivolousPancake · 01/03/2020 19:51

Oh I haaate all the over texting.
Really puts me off dating tbh, just how much pointless contact people expect.

It sounds like he has a busy, full life (good sign) it’s been the weekend so possibly busier than usual?

Instead of fretting and waiting in future and in general, make yourself busy. Don’t make a man (or woman) you’re main focus.

Eckhart · 01/03/2020 19:52

Regardless what year it is, men are normally upfront with something they like, and women try to act less interested

Woah. Aside from the sexist generalisation here, do you know the guy? We have no idea how he behaves when he likes someone. He may be reticent and shy.

TheYearOfTheDog · 01/03/2020 19:52

It's not a great sign but forget about him for now. Date other people.

There's no point texting him.

When I did internet dating I sometimes told myself, I'm not interested in a man who has to do all the chasing and sometimes I ''directed'' things but I learnt that there is no point. YOU just end up with men who'll date you but they're not that bothered.

TabbyCatPaws · 01/03/2020 19:53

Defo dont text OP. He will have known you like him based on your dates. Let him send the first text. The only exception to this would be if you think he's shy.

He's probably nursing a hangover so may not message you until tomorrow I reckon.

TheYearOfTheDog · 01/03/2020 19:56

Oh sorry, I see you've texted him already.

I hope you get a response!

If he says we must meet up sometime don't respond to that.

mrsdede · 01/03/2020 19:58

It's not sexist, it's true 🤷🏻‍♀️

MadeForThis · 01/03/2020 19:58

Nothing wrong with sending one text. If he responds or not then you'll have your answer.

itsabitofamess · 01/03/2020 19:59

If he doesn't text back quickly that's bad news op. Nothing wrong with texting though. My husband didn't care 🤣

Bubble5123 · 01/03/2020 20:00

It's not a great sign to be honest. I generally find that, when men are into you they leave you in no doubt.

But with that said, anything could have happened and there's no point in sitting wondering. If it were me I would just send him a quick text and see what he says. It's not needy to send one text. If he doesn't reply then you have your answer!

WhiteBadger · 01/03/2020 20:01

@shamazing that's good you've had a better experience than me. I'm so jaded with it all now :)

But then maybe I shouldn't have been texting "Do you prefer pink for bridesmaids or blue" after second dates ;)

Ponoka7 · 01/03/2020 20:01

How many people saying that al things are equal in dating ate doing online dating?