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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 27/02/2020 12:05

Yes it's weird.
No I wouldn't.

BarbedBloom · 27/02/2020 12:06

That is really weird and no, I wouldn't even think to ask.

Flutteringsatlast · 27/02/2020 12:06

Is she religious?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/02/2020 12:06

Yes it's weird, no I wouldn't ask.

Wearywithteens · 27/02/2020 12:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 12:08

Don't go.

Partner's a fucking weirdo, as is the husband for choosing to convey her message. You don't need to expose yourself to this level of intrusive batshittery.

hopeishere · 27/02/2020 12:08

That is weird.

Surely most people generally can keep their passions down for one night.

Have you previously had noisy thrashing sex in their house / within their hearing?!

TheMustressMhor · 27/02/2020 12:08

Beyond weird.

How would she police this, anyway?

You could (for argument's sake) agree not to have sex. And then deliberately have sex.

I mean - how will she know you're sticking to your promise?

Grin
Curiosity101 · 27/02/2020 12:08

That's very weird. I wouldn't ever ask a guest this.

It'd never crossed my mind when we've had guests before, but now I think about it I would hope they didn't because it'll be me changing the sheets not them. But... it's really not a big deal.

Bagofworries · 27/02/2020 12:09

I wouldnt have sex if I was only staying one night at a friends, so it wouldnt be an issue if I was asked or not, although I'd wonder what the back story was that they felt they needed to ask.

honeyloops · 27/02/2020 12:09

That's so weird. It wouldn't even cross my mind to request it!

JBFletcherismyaunt · 27/02/2020 12:10

Super weird, and no I wouldn’t even think of asking guests that! And it was your friends husband who asked you? Do you think she did ask, or even knows he’s asked you?

Booboooo · 27/02/2020 12:10

Out of respect i wouldn't do it. Surely you can go one night without? Maybe she has a nervous disposition and that's why they approached the subject

AnneJeanne · 27/02/2020 12:10

Maybe she’s had an experience of people having sex in her house and felt awkward about it? I think it’s a strange request, but at the same time I doubt I would have sex when staying over at a friend’s.

FriedasCarLoad · 27/02/2020 12:11

Does she have a moral objection? E.g. If you're a same-sex couple and she has traditional/biblical views of sexuality?

Or is a squeamish thing, for example if you'll be sleeping in their bed?

Am unusual request either way!

buckeejit · 27/02/2020 12:11

Can you ask why?

I would; have sex. At someone else's house but so weird to ask!

opticaldelusion · 27/02/2020 12:11

Is there some weird backstory where you admit you fucked on the sitting room carpet whilst they were peering round you trying to watch Ant and Dec on the telly?

SoupDragon · 27/02/2020 12:11

It could be that their walls are pap3 thin and they've heard ev3ything with previous guests.

It's really weird to actually ask though!

TheMustressMhor · 27/02/2020 12:11

Out of respect I wouldn't do it

Respect for whom?

I am constantly amazed by some of the answers people give on here.

KC225 · 27/02/2020 12:12

I have got to be honest - I hate the thought of people having sex in my bed. And I know that is unreasonable as I have stayed in many hotels but I would NEVER request that from a couple and I have never voiced it out aloud either.

I would feel a bit awkward in his presence now. Good luck OP. Keep us updated.

Aposterhasnoname · 27/02/2020 12:12

WTAF. No way would I say this to anyone. That’s weird as fuck.

Carrieonhappy · 27/02/2020 12:12

Yes its weird. Saying that tho My sister went on a weekend break to a caravan with her partner and another couple only for the other couple to have loud caravan shaking sex the first night they were there.

honeyloops · 27/02/2020 12:12

Oh yeah, I probably wouldn't at a friend's house if I was staying for the night - I'd rather wait til I was home, if it was a 2 week stay then maybe it'd be different (and depends on sleeping arrangements, house size, closeness of friendship etc). But to purposely warn guests ahead of time is very strange.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2020 12:13

I would be cancelling this visit. How completely bizarre and inappropriate. Her partner sounds unhinged, and she's not far off for repeating his ridiculous demands. Hard pass on that "friendship."

TheMustressMhor · 27/02/2020 12:13

Maybe she has a nervous disposition and that's why they approached the subject

Who has a nervous disposition regarding whether or not guests have sex?