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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
Everycloudandallthat · 27/02/2020 12:29

Sorrive just seen you’ve answered that question. Ignore me me lol

FizzyGreenWater · 27/02/2020 12:29

Actually - reading back, it's not clear which way around this is.

Is your friend the husband, and your friend the husband's female partner who you don't really know got your friend to ask you?

Or is it the way round that I assumed in my post above - your female friend's husband that you don't really know asked you this saying it was on the instructions of your friend?

lilyheather1 · 27/02/2020 12:29

It's not something I'd ask, but my friends and I have an understanding not to do it within earshot when we holiday together, and are pretty good at "popping to the shops" so everyone gets some alone time!

lildevil · 27/02/2020 12:30

Ask her also to not have sex

Dogsaremyfavorite · 27/02/2020 12:30

That’s so strange. I had a right laugh at this thread.

Cam77 · 27/02/2020 12:31

@TheMustressMhor
Because you’d probably end up leaving pubes, liquids on sheets, and risk waking their kids/your friends, etc. who then have to think about you banging in their spare bedroom/study for the next month. Common courtesy? A house is not a university dorm.

LemonBreeland · 27/02/2020 12:31

I cannot imagine asking that of guests, how bizarre!

SpeedofaSloth · 27/02/2020 12:32

TBH I would consider it rude to have sex in someone else's house, so I think this is fair enough.

Bloodybridget · 27/02/2020 12:33

Rude to have sex! That's really funny.

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 27/02/2020 12:33

Weird! I think it’s polite to be abstinate or very discrete if a guest in someone else’s house but I’d never expect someone to start creating house rules for their guests about it Confused

HollowTalk · 27/02/2020 12:34

It sounds as though they've had a bad experience with other guests but why not mention that as a joke and hope you get the hint?

spongejack · 27/02/2020 12:36

That's so weird and so funny!

But some of the answers here are also weird and funny, "out of respect, it's "rude"?

Why is it disrespectful or rude? Maybe if you're doing it on the dining room table when their eating, that's a bit full on.

OP you HAVE to say "why what's the issue"?

MzHz · 27/02/2020 12:36

Is he some kind of perv? Why is he even thinking about you and your oH having sex?

I'd cancel, because he's fucking weird and I would not feel comfortable wondering what was going through his mind tbh

GinDrinker00 · 27/02/2020 12:36

Very odd. How did they ask that and manage to keep a straight face?

Mistystar99 · 27/02/2020 12:37

Is sex in the garden allowed?

eenymeenyminyme · 27/02/2020 12:37

Send a message back through the husband asking if it's just the sex that's out or would they object a quick wank before dinner.

That cracked me up Grin

I think I'd have to have sex even if I wasn't planning to, just for devilment Wink

MzHz · 27/02/2020 12:38

Sorry, re-reading - is it HIM or her who objects to the idea of you having sex? or is it Her and her

confused myself now Confused :D

GlassHouseYouGlassHouse · 27/02/2020 12:39

I would have to have sex after that, no matter what! Someone once asked me not to have sex on their sofa Hmm

OkMaybeNot · 27/02/2020 12:39

What the actual fuck Grin

I'd be steering clear of that visit altogether.

Chocolatedaim · 27/02/2020 12:41

I would be packing a space hopper with me and bouncing around in the spare room Grin
What an odd thing to say. So bizarre that it came to her mind to begin with!

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 12:41

I want to know why, but it's too awkward to ask.

How is it awkward to challenge the batshittery of even mentioning your sex life, let alone putting you on an overnight ban?

I would not go (too weird, too intrusive, too ... controlling) but if you are still going to go, at least text the excellent question about whether a quick wank before dinner is acceptable.

Then - because obviously I am now as overly involved in your sex life as your non-friend - post their response here please ...

DreemOn · 27/02/2020 12:42

TBH if the walls are very thin then it's not that crazy thing to ask. Surely it's less weird than them not saying anything whilst knowing they will hear you having sex.

Derbee · 27/02/2020 12:42

I wouldn’t go and stay with some weirdos who were so invested in imagining me having sex. It’s totally weird and inappropriate to ask that sort of thing.

They’re fucking weird, don’t stay there.

QueenofallIsee · 27/02/2020 12:42

I wouldn’t go. Not because I need to have sex every night but because I would massively object to that being a house rule and it would prove that these people are not likely to be good hosts or friends

gamerchick · 27/02/2020 12:43

I'd be taking it as a sign she has total anxiety about hosting guests and is dreading it somewhat. This won't be the only thing she's bent her partner's ear over and it will have been bent for him to actually say something.

Maybe offer to stay in a b&b? Or I would think she's got issues and be the model guest while making a mental note that there will be no more repeat visits. It's too stressful being a guest when you know the host has rules like that.