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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/02/2020 13:14

I would wash sheets if someone used them for one night, whether they had sex or not
So makes no difference to me

MunaZaldrizoti · 27/02/2020 13:15

Its creepy that someone would even bring that up. Boundary issues much 🤨

Mischance · 27/02/2020 13:16

Sounds as though they have had a sleepless night during a guest's visit before! But really strange to make a specific request!

Bakedbrie · 27/02/2020 13:16

Say the thought hadn’t even entered your mind....but now she’s forbidding it, you’re both feel a rebellious kind of urge!!!!

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 27/02/2020 13:17

What a way to make you feel welcome in their home! She obviously has some kind of anxiety/issues to be so bothered by the thought of someone having nooky in her spare room she would risk the embarrassment of actually requesting they don’t do it!

She could’ve just hung a giant cross with Jesus on it above the bed, that would be enough to stop me.

Kaykay066 · 27/02/2020 13:17

If that was said to me, I’d not go or stay in a hotel that’s just weird. They are odd asking you to not have sex whilst staying and I don’t think I’d feel they think very much of me if that was the case.

EmbarrassingMama · 27/02/2020 13:19

I think he has a weird fetish and that this request has nothing to do with her, and she wouldn't dream of asking you.

Go talk to her about it!

Vanhi · 27/02/2020 13:21

It's weird. I'd be torn between not going at all, or going and having very noisy fake sex just to annoy them. Or take a rabbit and leave it switched on on a hard surface and if they ask what the noise is, just say that doesn't count as sex, does it?

dontgobaconmyheart · 27/02/2020 13:24

Just stay in a hotel. To be honest I wouldn't think I'd want to have sex in a friends house anyway- bit teenage and hardly reasonable to expect someone else to clean the sheets is it.

V. Weird they've specifically mentioned it, have never heard the like but meh, it's their house, can't see why you'd want to anyway and maybe they know something you don't about thin walls. You could always just ask your friend for the full rationale OP, I would have.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 27/02/2020 13:27

I had a friend openly forbid DH and I from any form of sexual contact whilst staying with her for 2 weeks. She said it was something she didn't want to have to think about and it was gross to do it in someone else's house.
We were as good as gold and didn't out of respect to her (her house, her rules etc)

LizzieMacQueen · 27/02/2020 13:27

I think I'd be offering to take my own bed sheets if i were you. I'll bet it's to do with dealing with dirty sheets she has a problem with.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 27/02/2020 13:28

Years ago we were looking after BIL and SIL 3 DC while they had a weekend away.

We were staying in their house-in their room.
BIL is a bit of a germaphobe and did ask that we not have sex in his bed.

I told him we wouldn't-we'd do it on the dining room table Grin

starfishmummy · 27/02/2020 13:29

Very weird! I probably wouldnt anyway but dh and I have been married forever, are old and are no longer at it like rabbits. 🙄

Original poster
Hohohole · 27/02/2020 13:31

What kind of a mess are ye making when you have sex? If I were to have sex at a friend's I'd be sure to be discreet.

OP posts:
Straycatstrut · 27/02/2020 13:33

Was it not said in a jokey way though like "No funny business though!"

If not it's very weird. They're not your parents and you're not 14.

inmyshoos · 27/02/2020 13:33

@Wearywithteens I've just lol'd so hard my colleagues are all looking at me like Wth?? Grin

Fucck · 27/02/2020 13:34

I'd go and shag on every surface of the room I was staying in 😂

Absolutely! Couldn't not 🤣

porple · 27/02/2020 13:35

that’s really weird

Ohyesiam · 27/02/2020 13:35

In realise you must have been struck dumb by this request, but you must go back and ask details😀.

What constitutes sex? If it’s only PIV then still plenty of scope.

Will they be allowed to have sex?

How will this be enforced?

And possibly most importantly, WHY?

Straycatstrut · 27/02/2020 13:37

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

No I'd leave out a little welcome basket of condoms, lube and toys.

Except I wouldn't because that's JUST as weird as stating there is a no sex policy.

spongejack · 27/02/2020 13:38

OP you MUST ask why not and report back ... please!

Bookoffacts · 27/02/2020 13:40

It's very weird.
Are they religious?

SlightlyJaded · 27/02/2020 13:41

I got asked this once by a friend whose house we stayed at.

But he he called to ask the next day after we'd left - as in phoned and said "by the way, did you and Mr Slightly shag last night?"

I said "No" as we hadn't, and he was delighted as he felt that he didn't have to change the bedding for someone else who would be using the guest room the following day as we'd only 'slept on it once'.

I then asked if anyone else had 'not shagged' on the same bedding as us and he cheerfully told us that we were the 'first' on this wash Confused

plunkplunkfizz · 27/02/2020 13:41

Having sex is in no way analogous to a bowel movement. The former is entirely optional and - from personal experience with some very relaxed guests - can get all over the place. The latter, if done correctly, leaves no trace and is not optional.

It’s not very pleasant to change another person’s sheets at the best of times, let alone jizzy, sweaty ones.

spongejack · 27/02/2020 13:45

It’s not very pleasant to change another person’s sheets at the best of times, let alone jizzy, sweaty ones.

TBH I just grab the corners, bundle them up in a ball and chuck in washing machine, I've never even looked at them.