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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
Kalashnikova · 27/02/2020 13:00

Brilliant Aridane: I'm now adding "NF" to my Mumsnet vocabulary alongside CF.

HaddawayAndShite · 27/02/2020 13:00

Because you’d probably end up leaving pubes, liquids on sheets
That could happen regardless of intercourse or not though! Pubes can wind up in the oddest places and different people produce different levels of bodily liquid (sexual and otherwise). The sheets don’t have to be left a jizzy mess either.

AlexaAmbidextra · 27/02/2020 13:00

Is there some weird backstory where you admit you fucked on the sitting room carpet whilst they were peering round you trying to watch Ant and Dec on the telly?

😂😂😂

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/02/2020 13:01

If it was someone on their own I'd understand. A single person doesn't want to see hear or smell a loved up couple having a shag, but If they 're in their own relationship I don't get it. Still it's their home I suppose..

Canadianpancake · 27/02/2020 13:01

I think that theyve wait the bar quite high as far as rude questions are concerned op, so you asking why you're not allowed to have sex is now an acceptable question.

It would freak me out if thought someone I was staying with was thinking about me having sex Blush I wouldn't be able to go.

maa1992 · 27/02/2020 13:02

It's weird!!! Even if you did, you'd do it descreetly though I'm sure most people wouldn't do it anyway.

How weird! That would unsettle me

Frownette · 27/02/2020 13:02

I wasn't happy aged 19 when my friend and her boyfriend stayed at the family home. I let them use my bedroom right next door to my parents but said no sex. My brothers bedroom was the other side.

Of course they did, didn't they? Woke my parents up. It's not like they even washed the sheets or anything.

Thinkingabout1t · 27/02/2020 13:02

Cam77: Because you’d probably end up leaving pubes, liquids on sheets

I always wash the sheets after we’ve had visitors, but never bother to check for DNA.

spongejack · 27/02/2020 13:03

I always wash the sheets after we’ve had visitors, but never bother to check for DNA.

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

JinglingHellsBells · 27/02/2020 13:03

I think there must be a backstory here of previous guests or maybe they just know you are a horny cow and will be at it like rabbits all night- and they really really don't want to hear it.

I am seriously shocked at how many posters would have sex at a friend's house. I think it's a bit discourteous if there is any chance they might overhear or you leave stains on the sheets.

Just not good behaviour really and insensitive.

Original poster
Hohohole · 27/02/2020 13:04

I'm a lovely guest, not a NF, I bring gifts and wine and know I'm there to spend time with them.
I'm worried that if I book a hotel she'll think I'm a nymphomaniac. But i do hate being told what to do.

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 27/02/2020 13:05

YANBU

With thin walls, people can also hear you having a dump - another MN phobia

A host is BVVVU to make such demands on their guests
V bad hosting

flowerflies · 27/02/2020 13:07

But.......will I be ok for them to have sex?!

Go on, ask them, and report back!

flowerflies · 27/02/2020 13:07

*Will it

spongejack · 27/02/2020 13:07

*I think there must be a backstory here of previous guests or maybe they just know you are a horny cow and will be at it like rabbits all night- and they really really don't want to hear it.

I am seriously shocked at how many posters would have sex at a friend's house. I think it's a bit discourteous if there is any chance they might overhear or you leave stains on the sheets.

Just not good behaviour really and insensitive*

A woman with a high sex Drive is a horny cow, a couple with a good sex life will be at it all night those were the days!

It's discourteous, not good behaviour and insensitive?

Wow, that's a lot of issues you've got going on there!

faracrossthepond · 27/02/2020 13:08

@Hohohole

Well I wouldn't be having sex in someone else's house anyway!

(Maybe in their shed or garden Grin but not their house!!!)

Seriously though. What a WEIRD thing to say to you.

YANBU at all.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/02/2020 13:09

It's weird.

I wouldn't ask.

But nor would I have sex in someone else's bed if I was only going to be in the house one night. I would curtail my savage lusts Grin.

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 13:09

If it was someone on their own I'd understand. A single person doesn't want to see hear or smell a loved up couple having a shag, but If they 're in their own relationship I don't get it.

????

If I go out to dinner with someone & don't want a pudding, I make sure they understand my orders that they are not allowed to have any pudding.

Also, I drive an old car. Nobody who wants to visit me is allowed to turn up in any vehicle less than 10 years old.

I don't have a horse, so forbid any of my horsey chums from talking about hacking or showjumping. It's only fair, & reasonable ...

BigChocFrenzy · 27/02/2020 13:10

"I am seriously shocked at how many posters would have sex at a friend's house."

Why? 🤔
Same objection about having a dump if they just visit for a few hours ?

Also, what about friends or family coming from hundreds / thousands of miles away and staying for 2 weeks, or 6, 8 weeks .....

One way of making sure people never visit you again !

Roomba · 27/02/2020 13:12

I'd be tempted to lay on top of the covers, fully dressed including shoes, and moan loudly - just to see if she burst in demanding I stop at once Grin

notinmykidsroom · 27/02/2020 13:12

I had an ex-friend and her then boyfriend stay on an inflatable mattress in my kids room one night. Kids were away at my parents house. She told me a few weeks later she and the bf had had sex in there.

It left me feeling a bit sick tbh. It's my children's bedroom. And I had to strip and wash the sheets myself.

This was after they had stayed another time, in the living room because my kids were there too but they took their own mattress and bedding because their daughter was using my spare set in the kids room.

Don't care if they had sex on their own sheets in the living room because they took them home to wash.

One night without sex won't kill anyone. I wouldn't ask anyone not to have sex in my house but surely decency means that for one or 2 nights you can contain yourself. Especially as a guest in a children's bedroom.

BecauseReasons · 27/02/2020 13:12

Are you sure it's not a wind-up, OP?

BigChocFrenzy · 27/02/2020 13:13

"If it was someone on their own I'd understand. A single person doesn't want to see hear or smell a loved up couple having a shag, "

😂😂
I'm longterm single and it wouldn't occur to me to be offended, jealous, whatever

and I'd never be such a dreadful host as to forbid guests having sex in their room, or having a dump in the loo

Bakedbrie · 27/02/2020 13:13

Pleeease go back and query “any reason why not?” If she’s got the brass neck to demand this, you’ve should have the right to ask why? Sex is a normal function,if that’s your prerogative.

Craftycorvid · 27/02/2020 13:14

Umm, the bed in the spare room is very fragile?!

You have to ask why, OP!