Asked not to have sex.

[Hohohole]

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

YANBU to think it is weird and more than a little controlling. I cannot imagine asking this of any guest. It simply would never occur to me unless, as others have said, a couple have form for noisy sex in close proximity to others. But even then, I probably just wouldn't invite them to stay tbh.

The only time this would ever be appropriate would be if your teenager has a BF/GF to stay and you are making it clear that there is to be no sex but then you would put them in separate rooms.

So it's the male who's your friend, I've just twigged.

I would ask why, I really would, I would ask her though.

Because you’d probably end up leaving pubes, liquids on sheets, and risk waking their kids/your friends, etc. who then have to think about you banging in their spare bedroom/study for the next month. Common courtesy? A house is not a university dorm.

Do you wake your own kids up when you're having sex then?

I certainly don't think about my own friends having sex, I've had plenty of guests, some I'm sure have had sex, it's bound to be the case. Never heard them or found evidence.

Clearly if you're waking people up your more vocal than me

I wouldn't go as I would be paranoid every time I turned in bed and if it made a sound they would think we were

Don’t have sex but make sex noises all night instead. No one said you can’t do that

Ask what constitutes "sex"? Is oral ok, is fingering ok? Spoons, no, i'll stop now. And get my coat.

Because you’d probably end up leaving pubes, liquids on sheets, and risk waking their kids/your friends, etc. who then have to think about you banging in their spare bedroom/study for the next month. Common courtesy? A house is not a university dorm.

Actually @Cam77, my courtesy extends to not wondering about my friends' private business, & certainly not speculating about the normal results of a normal activity on a guest bed.
Or ruminating about it for a month afterwards - that is very odd.
Your attitude is prurient, & downright rude.

Bizarre as hell.

Full disclosure and for balance, we did DTD in a friend's spare room, very quietly and with absolutely no enthusiasm whatsoever, in month 8 or 9 of TTC. However, I felt very awkward about it and we stripped the bed after our stay in the guise of being helpful guests so at no point did my friend touch the sheets. I'm sure if I'd asked she'd have told us to crack on (she knew we were getting a bit worried about lack of results having been TTC that long) but I wouldn't have asked because who the fuck talks about that with their host or guests?!

At least be reassured OP that it is her and definitely not you who is the odd one here...

Very strange but so are some of the replies on here. I would reassure them then a while after going to bed would scream YES! YES! YES!

Famously, Cherie Blair insisted on having sex with Tony at Windsor Palace on an overnight stay. The result was little Leo Blair. It is in her book.

Is there some weird backstory where you admit you fucked on the sitting room carpet whilst they were peering round you trying to watch Ant and Dec on the telly?

That would be it, Opticaldelusion!

But really, super weird, and i would feel uncomfortable visiting them again tbh.

I'd like to know what would the scenario be if you DID have sex and they heard you...would they burst in shouting 'STOP IT'???

weird

I'd be asking if they preferred if we brought our own latex shagging sheets & then not going as this smacks of overly controlling & not a welcoming place to visit at all

Maybe she has some issues such as OCD around cleanliness and bodily fluids etc. It's really quite mean of you all to not consider that this could have been a huge thing for her even having people there and that she just can't face the thought other people having sex in her safe place

I wouldn't go to stay, not because I can't go for the night without having sex but because I think it's weird that the friends were thinking about it. That would creep me right out. Plus, if they're so obsessed with it, they'll probably convince themselves that you ignored the request, so the only way to prove you didn't is to not go in the first place.

It would never occur to me to have sex with my husband whilst staying at someone's house for one night. But for her to mention it is also really weird!

That’s hilarious , you really need to have sex when you stay now 😂 really loud sex and leave something on the bed lube sex toy or condom. See what she says lol

Maybe she has @nailsathome but the "order" could've been delivered a little better. Sorry to be a pain, seem controlling but due to DPs OCD she just can't bear the thought of bodily fluids on sheets etc. So if just for one night you could refrain that would be great.

I still wouldn't stay there'

Maybe you’re notorious as a screamer or Noisy Fucker (NF)

Maybe she has some issues such as OCD around cleanliness and bodily fluids etc. It's really quite mean of you all to not consider that this could have been a huge thing for her even having people there and that she just can't face the thought other people having sex in her safe place

Maybe she does.
If so, it's up to her to either get help with her OCD or whatever, or take the simple expedient of not inviting people to stay if she cannot cope with the fact that they might shag.
It is utterly bizarre to issue adult guests with a non-shag edict.

Thinking in this further, I'm wondering there is a back story here too.

I have one friend & partner, who wouldn't be welcome again, but if they were, I'd probably say something like this, but based o the fact they used our house like a cheap hotel last time they did stay, including popping back to get a bag without us, disappearing & we then walked in on them with kids in tow, including hers who she had dumped on us, shagging on our living room floor. That plus pissed soaked loo & I mean soaked I had to clean so my them 3yo could use it again & helping himself to DHs beer without asking or buying any means they'd never get another invite anyway

@BrokenMumTeenDD but that's not the same, OP has never stayed there and they're specifically singling out "no sex"!

Ask him “Why?”

That request would put me off going. So weird to think every time you move she may be thinking you are disobeying her house rules!!

It's just rude to ask, it's as if she doesn't trust you to not have loud messy sex at every opportunity!!! Makes me wonder what your friend has said to her about you.

Very strange request! I wouldn't have sex on a friend's guest room but wouldn't dream of asking a friend not to!