aibu about your 40's

[notespeciallyno]

Aibu to wonder what your 40's were like or are like?

Sorry! Ken

Well I lost one of my kids in my 40’s so really fucking shit decade. Ruined by grief and desperation and the loss of my life as I knew it. I still haven’t worked out what the hell I’m doing. Surviving day to day currently. My 30’s were bloody awesome. Best decade.

Fat! My forties are fat and getting fatter.
I'm tired, so damn tired ALL THE TIME
Can never even remember how old I am anymore, apparently I'm 47 but I have to work it out every time.

boopboo I'm so so sorry x

Very busy as have young DC and full-on job. But feel much more self-assured and confident. Sort of wise at times too!! Like the way I am treated a bit more seriously by others but that might be cos I act more confidently. Used to be intimidated by some men but don't feel like that at all now. Maybe a bit too fearless at times.

On the down side, feel more tired at times and achy. Also, still have the same perfectionist thoughts I had in 20s and 30s which makes me a bit anxious.

Questioning everything - am I in the right relationship, do I like my career, do I like where I live, should I leave everything and go travelling. Double the weight I was, half as fit, deteriorating health, thinning hair..... Old enough however to realise that drinking, smoking and having the odd spliff is not great so given all that up... but now what? Roll on being 50 🤔🤔🤔

Difficult and stressful so far. My "D"H decided that dating apps and flings with teenagers was more fun than family life and then got arse when I filed for divorce. My 2 oldest DC have ongoing disability issues. I've aged more physically in the last 2 years than the previous decade. So now I'm a slightly fat and haggard single mum of 3. My 20's were my best decade. 30's were settled and even slightly dull at times. I may be experiencing the first signs of peri menopause too, joy.

Great at work - got my ideal job, had babies 3 and 4.
Felt at most confident and loved not caring what people thought so much. Got fat.
So far 50's have been utter crap.

Well I just hit 40 a few months back. I don't have the body issues I had as a 20 something/early thirties at least. I'm glad to see there's some people who aren't hating it or hated it.
There's no way I'm confirming to the 40 something stereotype. In my mind I feel like I'm still mid 20s. But then I'm told I don't look my age anyways.
I don't feel any different to my later 30s.
No kids either and I don't want any.
I think society pushes a very negative image onto women about being in their 40s.
It's almost as if you're expected to turn into some kinda frump and I think a lot of women give into it. Or are encouraged to.
As to articles and things written aimed at women in their 40s I gave up reading them. Patronising and condescending doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel I have nothing in common with other women my age generally asides age.
The ladies I know in their 40s and older than me are all mostly kickass ladies that don't conform to the stereotype.
It's just numbers, not a code to life your life by and conform to.

I found my style in my 40s.
I found I didn't give a shit in my 40s.
And best of all I found out I'm into younger men in my 40s 🤣

40’s are my best decade yet.

LOVED my 40,s best time of my life. I thought I was at my physical peak kids no longer reliant, could come and go much more as pleased its when you hit mid 50,s menopause kicks in its hell! invisible/hot /fat/sweaty/no control over body parts/snappy /no energy ect what ever you hear /read, its NOT pleasant.

Not what I expected at all a bit nieve really.. I had a great party to celebrate and was positive!! and then everything went down hill, working on the next 5 years as a continuous improvement project to hopefully enjoy 50 in style 😄💙💙

Fab. I'm turning back time. Feel way younger in my 40s (I'm 47) than my 30s. Only problem is menopausal flushes, memory loss and a bit more of a fight to stay slim but I'm so positive thinking right now I can deal with them fine

I’m 46 now. My 40s have been a horrific time - diagnosed with bipolar disorder late in the day at 41. If only it had been diagnosed earlier I’m sure I would have had a much more stable and happy life. My 40s have been characterised by mental breakdown and psychosis; my eyesight has deteriorated, I’ve gained loads of weight through age and meds, I have financial problems occasioned by my MH issues. I’ve lost confidence with driving. I can’t stop the endless worrying about everything. In short, It’s been bleak. I hope my 50s are better.

I’m weeks away from turning 49 (DH is 46 this year) and would definitely say it’s been very mixed..

The good has been stuff like having bought our fantastic forever house, becoming grandparents, work promotions for both of us, more time/cash for better holidays & definitely better social life)

The not so good is that we still have a pre-teen & 16 year old with significant additional needs so have a lot less freedom & a lot more stress than most people our age and it’s not where we expected to be

Currently planning a bit trip for my 50th next year & hoping it’s a calmer decade!

Became a mother at 39, hitting 40 paled in significance to that.. spent my 40th birthday morning crying as my hormones welcomed my time of the month back.. haven't lost the baby weight and seem to constantly now be looking at pictures of me in my 30's wondering why I ever thought I was fat then I am now easing myself gently into this new chapter , along with slowly attempting to ease myself back into clothes that fitted me pre-baby weight... But on the plus side I feel stronger , less worried about what other people think and much more focused on what I want from my life for me and my DS.

I am now 50 and am missing my 40s!

I spent my 30s mainly pregnant or trying to get pregnant or looking after babies and toddlers. By the time I got to 40 I had 3 under the age of 7, youngest was 3. I had gone back to work in a proper job and negotiated part time hours that allowed me to have an interesting career but still be able to have time at home and be part of the kids school lives. I think I had the best work life balance in those years.

I miss being part of the kids lives - they are all teenagers now and off doing their own thing and don't need me in the same way.

40s means giving less of a shit about what people think. Face starts to drop at 44 and the weight gain hits soon after, but somehow you just own it. Buy some spanx and keep drinking.

I care a lot less what other people think and am happier in my own skin. Love the advice of a friend though - get a thin nightie and a good pair of tweezers.

MrsBrentford snap, I feel so invisible sometimes, not even the charity workers on the street of the Boots beauticians want me attention any more.
Also it is only because it is easy to count from 75 in 10's I can work out how old I am this year.

Being invisible can be highly useful at times.

My 40s have been brilliant overall- last baby and divorce. Then dating and falling in love in my 40s has been (mostly) loads of fun, interesting funny teenagers, being the fittest and slimmest of all my decades, loving clothes buying. Am amazing exciting fulfilling career move.

But mostly the confidence of finally giving zero fucks .

Fat. But I dont give a shit about things that used to bother me when I was younger. I also rarely care what people think whereas this (pathetically) consumed me in my 20s.
I have a lot more male attention and it cant be my figure. I dress well and always wear make up/hair done. But I'm overweight. So it's got to be the confidence I have. Or as a 'friend' said when we were discussing it 'they just expect you to be desperate at 40'. Ha. I'm not.

Some people are seriously deteriorating in their 40s!
everything aches. Really? Why?