aibu about your 40's

[notespeciallyno]

Aibu to wonder what your 40's were like or are like?

30's were a decade of pregnant/bf/tired/covered in some sort of bodily fluid from child and generally feeling/looking like crap.

40's so far rock. Am putting myself first, wearing makeup, cooking nice food, training, studying. Kids are all now in school.

I'm still tired but I finally feel good about myself again.

Sex life is best ever, although we have to be much more discreet.

And definitely not invisible, but not on the younger men's radars. Quite happy to catch the eye of the older man every now and again though.

40s now. Less stress. More money. Better sex. Better decision maker. But more tummy! Overall a win.

@StarlightLady I think that sums up me in my 40's as well.

Although my teenagers can definitely create stress at times...

Since I hit 40 I’m super aware I’m over half way through life. It’s become really apparent that I am in the second half of my career now, but it’s also a good reminder not to waste time and get on with doing what I want to

Quite tough on the whole tbh. When I turned 40 I had just lost a very good friend and lost my MIL shortly afterwards. DS's were then 7 and nearly 5. Turned 45 in January and felt quite depressed about not having achieved much and about being too heavy. Have resolved to get thinner and richer this year, have lost 9 pounds so far and I am investigating different career options My energy has declined quite a lot and my eye sight has got worse, just got my first varifocals. Also true about handovers and the peri is starting for me, periods irregular. That said, I still dye my hair funky colours and wear nice clothes which helps.
Unfortunately I lost my DM when I was 27, my DD has had a few close shaves. The difference now is that I am at an age where I would be perceived as old enough to lose my Dad, it is the norm for things like that to happen in your 40s. When my Mum died, it was tragic, but weirdly there was a slight comfort in it not being typical life, although I obviously felt very cheated. Now everywhere I turn, people's parents are dying and getting long-term illnesses and a couple of my close friends have developed poor health in the last year. My kids are now 12 and 10 and on the brink of getting more independent which I am looking forward to, tbh I feel very done with the primary school years, world book day etc. I get to go out now and again but my DH works shifts and the boys are still that bit too young to be left for long but I know my time will come. TBH I'm looking forward to my 50s, hoping for more freedom, an improved relationship with my DH, more career opportunities cause I can be more flexible and more money. I wasn't to keep my weight in check, superficial as that sounds, but feel that I have eventually accepted that it isn't a case of being on or off a diet, I need to track what I eat all the time, boring but I don't want the depression that comes with being fat. Don't want to lose too much weight though cause I'm a typical example of a woman who has to choose between her face and her arse.

Filled with anxiety and uncertainty. Lack of stability and generally quite scary.

Newly divorced at 40, now at 43, financially better off than ever before due to big job, dd at an age she's a little more independent, and having the best and most sex of my life with wonderful new partner. Feel better about myself physically than ever before. (Despite the 'raw material' being technically inferior to when I was younger, I am comfortable and happy with myself)....

On the other hand- crises like a loved one having cancer and a relationship breakdown definitely causing anguish....