aibu about your 40's

[notespeciallyno]

Aibu to wonder what your 40's were like or are like?

I'm 49, my dc are all adults, although I have a dgd who lives with us. I am more confident in myself than I ever was before. I can talk to people without blushing now, which is great. My health (and eyesight) are not as good as they were, and my sleep patterns are shocking. All in all my 40's have been pretty good, roll on my 50's.

I’m 48. In my prime. My 40s have been great: loads of confidence, good friends, able to pick and choose at work. And I’m still gorgeous.

A rollercoaster tbh. First half coming out of a LTR, finding myself again. 2nd half baby, marriage, divorce, menopause. 50s are great though.

You stop giving a shit what anyone thinks and your kids are old enough not to eat snails and electrocute themselves.

I NEED mine to be better than my teen's, 20's and 30's which have been filled with depression, anxiety, abuse and tragedy.

I do hope to be fully qualified by 40, with a mortgage (single parent so a lot harder) and able to do a bit of travelling.

I'm very cautiously looking into dating and currently chatting to an incredibly gorgeous man who is 40 (I made the first move, wow). I'm 32. 40's for me is proper "grown up and ready to have some freedom and fun" age when the kids are older - mine will be 16 and 12 when I'm 40 so not as needy as 7 and 3 (you'd hope!)

40s were TERRIBLE, Anxiety, weight gain, visible aging - all peri-menopause related. 50s though, on HRT, fitter than I have ever been. Looking better than I did all through my 40s!

Bloody awful. My last day as 49 started at 3am with a trip to A and E for someone in the house them endedc with my elderly neighbour falling. Couldn’t wait not to be in my 40s and that sums up the whole decade for me.

More optimistic about my 50s, first few months ok.

I'm late forties and suddenly my body is telling me I have to look after it after decades of not really noticing. Eat a bit too much? I get fatter. Have a coffee after 4pm? No sleep for you. Wear the wrong shoes? Hobble out of bed the next day. Skip yoga? Stiff back for a week etc etc.

I am really enjoying kids being a bit older but not enjoying the all pervasive anxiety. Not sure if that is related to my forties or the world we live in.

Hysterectomy , death of mum, mother/ father in law and going nc from my toxic family
Chronic ill health after being so fit and active and work colleagues not understanding
3 teenagers and their demands
Now in 50's and look back on my 40's as a tough time

My 40s meant a huge change in lifestyle as I had my first DC at 43 (a surprise- had been happily child free). We moved to a new part of the county, I became a SAHM, by choice, loads of new opportunities to explore. I was heavily involved in local community volunteering- good times. I think I am lucky to have a positive approach to life though as every decade has its plus points, and I am fortunate to have good health and don't care about grey hair or being overweight . Currently enjoying my 60s!

I like myself more. I know who I am and what I am not. I don’t care as much about what other people think. I know what’s important now.

Hormones are a pain, and I don’t look as good as I did in my 30s but I’ve dropped the angst and have better self esteem and self liking.

Best decade so far.

It's odd you go into it feeling a bit of trepidation, the odd ache and pain, and then the mid 40s hit and everything seems to speed up. My body seems to have aged by 20 years and my DH is grumpy as fuck.

Can't lie so far it has been the worst decade, only plus, I don't care about stuff as much, probably, because I don't have the energy anymore.

I am definitely at the bottom of the U on the happiness curve for sure.

My forties were fabulous basically as I still had absolutely loads of energy.

Now in my fifties and feeling tired and old. I am finding ageing incredibly difficult.

Brilliant so far!

I know who I am, I care far less about what others think, I'm much less of a pushover.

I'm experienced at my job, so find it easier (mostly), I have a lovely partner who I am settled with, we have enough money and all student debts paid off.

I know what clothes, hairstyle, make up suit me and am less concerned about being fashionable.

Looking forward to my 50s!

Early 40's were really good. Started to feel different at 48. More aches and pains, putting on weight, not feeling confident about the way I look.

Happier with 'my lot' than I've ever been.

Pros- With a partner who adores me rather than an egotistical, abusive wanker
Seeing light at the end of the tunnel re kids growing up and becoming self sufficient
Have a job I love with a pay packet to suit my lifestyle
Light at the end of the tunnel re mortgage/finances etc
Great social life with friends I choose and like, rather than putting up with idiots
Old enough to give less of a shut what people think of me

Cons - I'm starting to feel my age, the odd aches and pains here and there
Menopausal
My mum died of dementia and I'm terrified I'll have it too
Realised I'm in the last half of my life
My dh is 10 yrs older than me and it makes me v said to think he's got about 20 yrs left (god I sound morbid)

A few really high points but lots of lows. In 50s now and things even worse. Feeling like I'm done with all this crap.

Felt very fit, had a child, but relationship went rubbish and that has dragged on and on...

Did quite a few good things. Am slowly down now 52 but determined my 50s will have
New career
New relationship
New home!

So far a bit meh. I'm only 41 though. My eyes are deteriorating, I broke my leg last year and have some hip pain creeping in. I've also undergone a bit of a mid life crisis reassessment of my life as I felt like I hadn't accomplished enough.

BUT my children are still young enough for me to take the greatest pleasure in the world from (3 and 9), I'm dropping down to 4 days a week and my marriage is strong and happy. A bit of a mixed bag - a bit like life in general 😉

I loved my 40's. Started to have a bit of money again, was at the top of my game at work. Family life was good with children becoming independent. Friends had time for each other. Physically I felt strong and well.
Had a bit of a wobble in my 50's lost some confidence and had a health problem. Work became a bit of a slog and I felt tired a lot of the time.
60's are an eye opener so far. My health is good. My attitude is more ballsy than ever before. Money is ample. BUT its been a time of self exploration like never before, truly is about finding or rather refinding myself.Travelling and Exploring. Letting go of old stuff.

A month before I was 40 I gave birth to my 2nd DC after years of fertility problems and thinking I’d never have children. I celebrated my 40th birthday eating my cut up lunch with one hand holding a breastfeeding baby with my other, while my toddler ran round the restaurant (we were the only ones there, he’d opened specially, before you judge!) and I’d never been so happy. A decade of sheer family joy followed which I thought I’d never have. So yeah, pretty good! I’m overweight, menopausal and wrinkly but I don’t give a shit, these things don’t really matter.

They say that life starts at 40. I disagree. Getting fatter, health problems start in the 40s. Circumstances. Some circumstances are external though e.g. the political system.

Started well but I'm only 2 years in and my body is broken! 😭

A lot depends on how your life’s going, of course. But physically, a lot also depends on genetics, and that took me by surprise. Health, energy, hormones etc - I discovered we all age very differently, and the only clue is how long your grandparents lived and how your older relatives are doing.

I’d never bothered about my health or bodycare things like sunscreen etc, and I’d always been a bit reckless. The 40s were when my body started paying all my debts. Old injuries started hurting again. I was slowing down and got tired easily. I had lots of health problems. Couldn’t shake off colds or other infections so quickly. I got skin cancer (cured, thanks to quick NHS action). I noticed that few of my relatives had lived past their 70s, so genetics wasn’t on my side.

All the health stuff got me down. It was a bad time. But it had some good results because it shook me up and made me re-evaluate my way of life. I stopped wasting so much time on things (and in some cases, people) I didn’t really care about. I took up exercise, which has made a major difference in terms of strength, energy and general health.

Out of all the things we have control of, I’d say taking up exercise has been one of the most important for me. I’m still not a fitness fanatic, but I’ve been forced to start taking care of my body because even the NHS can’t give you a new one.

Overwhelming
I have a 3yo, an 11yo and a mother with dementia to care for plus I run my own rather busy practice, chair the local branch of my professional body and cope with my own disability due to a chronic deteriorating illness - sometimes I just want to shout ENOUGH!