Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

Well I did similar when I took a smaller group for my DD to Jump In. I did actually pay for socks for those who didn't have them but asked people to bring any they already had. I didn't think people want extra trampoline socks if they already have a pair. I took a larger party for my DS and we did have a party then so socks supplied. For the first one I brought the kids home for a party here for the second we had party room at Jump In.

I don't understand the sock thing. Do you need special socks? Or just any? I mean she's paid entry so not like she's being mega cheeky. Dje probably thought the extra for food making it a party would be better spent in McDonald's as the kids would like it more.

I'm not sure anyone is going to be happy leaving 30+ 4/5 year olds in the hands of party mum, at a huge jump place in half term. Would you, really? I wouldn't!

Yes you have to have special jump socks and they have to be 'their' socks so you can't have your own socks or other jump franchise socks.

I’ve never been to a trampolining place where you have to pay to watch!

I think she’s paid enough already

But you shouldn't invite people unless you're paying in this situation. A lot might not realise that they're expected to pay to watch.

The McDonalds trip sounds problematic too. 30+ DC plus parents descending on McDs round the corner from a trampoline place, probably at a peak time like Saturday afternoon? Has she booked tables? Can you even book tables? Will there be room for people to sit and eat? From what you say, I'd be surprised that the host DM will be paying for this.

Agree that if she didn't want to pay for a party, which is probably X per head including food where X is more than basic entry to the trampoline park plus the cost of a Happy Meal per child, she should have invited fewer guests and done the party properly, with food and drinks at the venue and free spectating for parents.

I don't think it is at all 'CF' or cringe worthy tbh. The issue is the jumping place taking the piss about adults. If you took your child they'd charge you to come in for a coffee? You don't have to buy drinks.b

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude?

Your kid is going jumping though, no? And will have to eat food and drink water regardless?

Would be a CF to ask you to pay for HER kid, but since your own kid is going and having a lovely time, what's cheeky about asking you to contribute for your own?

Trampoline places you have to have the special socks (they’re grippy, bit like slipper socks) but if you book a party you each get given a pair. If not you have to buy them and some places try and make money by insisting you have theirs.

If she’d invited half the number of kids it would have cost less to book the party. It’s not cheap to have a party at these places though, you generally have to have a minimum of ten children. We’ve done it a couple of times for the DC’ party.

Trampolining is such a rip off, especially if a place charges for adults to literally sit and watch (when they’ll no doubt also be paying for drinks while they watch!). I hate the sock charge too, fully appreciate you can keep them but it’s like reusable shopping bags- I never bloody remember them .

I’d say YANBU, she should’ve booked it as a party and I’d guess she isn’t paying for the McDonald’s.

We did a party at one of those places - we have a standing arrangement (parents have all been around the block a couple of times) where you find a couple more kids with birthdays at the same time so you can do a group party, because otherwise it would cripple you to pay for 30 kids. So it cost me < 90 quid, and that included home-done party bags (provided ones are rubbish), as a catered party (including 3 birthday cakes).

We provided socks. But lots of the kids already had them. Adults all got a coffee too if they wanted, or could drop and run.

I think if she's doing it alone, and then paying for macdonalds, then actually I think that it's costing her a fortune, and a tenner from you won't be the end of the world. I am surprised that they make adults pay - the trampoline place here is fantastic, you just send the kids in for 60-90 mins and sit and have a tea - it's fully supervised, so an actual break. Your only cost is the tea.

Why do people do this to themselves she’s going to get a reputation for trying to do things on the cheap if she wanted to have a trampoline party she should’ve had a proper one and invited numbers that she could afford

At my local trampoline place, it's £10 per child plus £2 the socks (which have to be their own brand I presume for insurance purposes) plus £2 for each adult which is redeemable in their cafe.

If she's taking 30 kids, she's paying out at least £300 plus then I assume a happy meal for each one (which lets face it is much better food than the awful stuff they serve in these places) - so that's approx another £90 - so she's shelling out nearly £400 presumably so this really isn't a case where she's being tight!

To be honest, if my child wanted to have a trampoline party, I would probably suggest the same - pay for the children's entrance and then take them to McDonalds or Pizza Hut which are literally next door. It may have been that the official party rooms were booked, or as a PP suggested, it may have been the birthday child's request to go to McD. I'm not sure I really see what the problem is if I'm honest

If you’re worried that other parents may not realise about the cost just ask innocently on the what’s app group.
Hey party host how much do you think I should bring to pay for any extras?

I think it’s very ill thought out as a whole class party. These work best held in local village or equivalent halls with a couple of bouncy castles for Reception aged children.

Hopefully everyone can afford the few pounds for entrance and socks. YANBU to be annoyed. YABU to think she’s being cheap and rude.

But you don’t need to stay , how old is your child? Also how do you know she won’t buy juice? Anyway tap water will be free just ask for that for your dd.

Maybe she can't afford to pay for 30 children's and 30 parent's entries, up to 30 pairs of socks, party drinks and at least 30 meals, but wants her child to have a wonderful time at the trampoline park with their friends for their birthday? She's not forcing you to go, just decline if you don't want to...

Unfortunately this seems to becoming ‘the norm’ for parties. We have been to many parties in the last couple of years where I have had to buy extras as in drinks, food, adult entrance and like you even the socks. The amount of times we have arrived at parties and found out yes there is food we are going such and such after (usually wimpy, zizzi etc) so realise I’m going to have to pay and also can not say no to the food in local restaurant as by then son is excited to be going with friends and you come out of play place and sort of get swept along to the restaurant before you know it Im £20 down from paying for our meals and drinks! Then I’m rushing back to the car because my ticket (yes another thing I have had to pay for) is about to expire!

Think you can tell I find parties stressful

She should ask you to bring the socks if you have them, then pay for those who don't. She could keep and wash the socks after and save them for a sibling's party if she pays for them though. For a 5th birthday I'd expect her to pay for one parent if they are staying, but I'd encourage parents to drop off (but have some helpers) for a 6th birthday. Happy Meal per child, but I wouldn't expect to be provided with food as an adult.

None of the (many) trampoline places near here charge parents to watch, that’s a ridiculous practice.
I don’t think she’s a CF. I think she decided (rightly) that the food at trampoline parties is awful and overpriced, and is taking the kids to McDonalds instead.

I highly doubt she’s paying for Macdonalds after! I’d be really interested to see the outcome!

Socks I get, I’d be peeved if I wasn’t pre-warned and also annoyed if I had to pay to enter myself

Are you really quibbling over paying £3 for you to get in 😂😂😂

Stop being so tight. You get to keep the socks. It costs about £15 to go to kids party as guest, counting present. Would you prefer to not be invited?

YABU. She has paid for the trampolining, I am sure that your child owns a pair of socks - you don't need special ones at the places we've been to for it - and if you want your own coffee, pay for it or take one in an insulated cup.