Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

Wowzer our trampolining place is free for adults unless you are trampolining. She is spending alot of money on inviting the whole ,class so I wouldnt be too harsh. You are always permitted to decline the invite.

sleepyfarm i need an update....utterly bored in work.

It's really cheapskate of a trampoline place to charge adults to watch their children. Surely they would make money on selling drinks and snacks?

There is absolutely no way that I would drop and leave a five year old at a trampoline park or soft play.. There is too much opportunity for a bad knock or two to happen, and a five year old would want their own parent, not someone else's mum. Besides if it is 40 minutes each way it isn't even worth going home.

She’s paid for all the kids - maybe that’s all she can afford. Yes you would do it differently but it’s not your party, it’s hers.
I do think that she ought to email all parents and let them know that socks are required.
As for McDonald’s - it’s cheap for a happy meal and you don’t have to go.

YANBU.

By the time you've paid petrol, socks, adult entry, a cup of tea whilst you wait, Macdonald's (because I doubt she is paying for that) and a birthday present it's really not much of a "treat" is it?

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this crap anymore.

It's become almost like a competition as to who can host the most expensive party. As far as I'm concerned parties should be affordable or don't bother. It's an absolute cheek to put these costs on parents who have enough to worry about financially.

I wouldn't go but that's me.

By the time you've paid petrol, socks, adult entry, a cup of tea whilst you wait, Macdonald's (because I doubt she is paying for that) and a birthday present it's really not much of a "treat" is it?

It's still a treat for the OP's child. It's hardly the other child's parents issue that you have to pay for petrol to take your child somewhere and for your own cup of tea if you want one.

If the general view is that the party Mum is being unreasonable then no wonder children are becoming more entitled and grabby, they are getting it from their parents.

I'd be appalled if my children behaved like the people on here who are complaining about the party mum.

CF of the highest order. I can’t believe how tight they are being

Just entry for 30plus kids is 300plus pounds at most parks. That's not being cheap. Its surely nice if the whole class is invited? If all parents would switch to only invite 15 kids plus parent and your DC would hardly ever get invited, would that not be worse? Our school has a 'whole class or only 1 or 2 best friends' policy.

CF of the highest order. I can’t believe how tight they are being

She's paying for the whole class to go trampoling, that is not tight in any shape or form.

I can't believe how grabby some people are. It wasn't like this when I did children's parties. Thank god I don't have to do them any more.

Part of having kids is taking them to parties, the money, hassle etc I find all the party angst on mn ridiculous to be honest. Just get on with it or don't go. The last couple of parties my dd went to were really low on numbers, I think most people can't be arsed which is a shame but it's not a summons.

Maybe there's been no update because when Op got there she found the mum had paid for it all including socks food and parents watching, and even offered the parents a drink too, so Op now feels a bit sheepish to come back and tell us so

OMG!!
So after me saying upthread that at our local one we just had to wear socks, do they check special socks etc, I've ended up planning to go to another local one tomorrow. Just checked their website and it's one of the places you have to buy their own branded socks!!!! Cant believe that's a thing 😂

@Comefromaway the one I'm going to is like yours after all!

Agree it's a bit tight. Better to just pay for 10-12 kids and do it properly surely. Other than getting them there and back I can't imagine asking parents to pay for anything. I think socks is possibly ok though because you might have them already and in any case can keep them for next time. But paying for entry is daft. She's potentially setting herself up there as some may drop and run which is def not advisable for a reception aged child at trampolining!

That said paying for 30 kids x £10 each is definitely not tight at all. Madness!

I’m waiting too