Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

How entitled are you?

PMSL at it being “entitled” to expect someone hosting a “party” to actually host it properly

As someone else said, would it be OK if you invited someone to your wedding and made them pay for their starter? If not, why not? They’re getting a main course and a pud, how “entitled” to expect the hosts to pay for a starter as well.

It’s obvious the people who think this OK just lack basic manners and understanding of hospitality themselves

Be kind @pointlessaddict

Go, say bye to child. Pick up from MDs later. If this is a problem, she can offer to pay for you to stay. I'm not heartless, I did a party like this and no parents stayed.

I would give McDonalds a miss, just because of the rubbish meals that they sell. Definitely would not take my children to one. Prefer to give them proper food and they, also, prefer this. I make my own burgers and buy decent buns. McDonalds may be cheap, but that says it all. Cheap and that's what you get. The baps are terrible. Uggh!

The accompanying adults have to pay at all our local jump places too. I think it's a bit cheeky tbh. If she wants the adults there she should pay their entry and for the socks for the kids.

She should also pay for food after. Drinks whilst you're there I wouldn't be too bothered about buying, you could take your own as long as you're aware.

I always buy a present based on a few things. How close the party child is to mine and how much I estimate the party to be costing. So if it's an expensive party I'd fork out more for a present. If it's a cheap diy kind of party and my child isn't that close to the birthday child I would spend less. In this instance, as the party is costing you I'd probably look around for a more economical present!

McDonalds isn't any worse than any other party food, eg sandwiches, crisps, cake etc. You could even get them fish fingers, carrot sticks and water in their Happy Meal if you want to be That Parent Viv

I've been to a few whole class invited parties, so I've learn from them that its really not worth it. Most that has ever turn up is half the class. I'd be annoyed too tbh

Is the what’s app clear, and advised of costs? Surely for 30 children the trampolining place would have asked for a deposit and advised her on costings with the socks etc. The soft play areas always assumed that all children would have their own socks then a two hour play and food for £14.00 0but with trampolining it’s those totes tosey type socks just a money spinner to me!! Why have they decided to do Mac Donald’s separately that is a bit of headache for 30 children😄 also a present as well. It sounds like the trampoline place has not advised her properly!! I think it is a bit unfair she is called a CF what dyes that stand for??? 😄

@survivingdad

Update could go either way.

Op went to party paid £5 for entry and socks, dc had a fab time, juice was provided, all went to Macdonalds where they had a happy meal, came home, happy days, kids all had a great time.

Or

Op didn't go

Really can't see what all the drama is about.

Or the third option... OP turns up at the party and it all kicks off when birthday mum says "Have you been calling me a CF on mumsnet?!" 🤜🤛

Parents don't need to pay unless they are jumping too. You can take a bottle of water for your dc and if they've been before surely they already have socks? (Sorry not rtt but that all seems screamingly obvious so assume it's been covered)

Yes the fee as an accompanying adult is £3
This is if the accompanying adult is actually going on the trampolines to supervise, not for people watching from the sidelines

What happened!!??

I think it’s cheeky. We got invited to celebrate a classmates birthday at soft play - note, not worded as a ‘party’ - but everyone had to pay for their own child! No party tea, or party bags - as my 5 year old said, why do we have to give a present when we don’t get cake 🤣

Yeah.. totally cheap. I remember one time my daughter was “ invited” to a party. I had to buy her food and drinks... and was still expected to supply the birthday girl with a card and gift.having to pay for the socks is ok( you can take them home and re use them) paying for food and drink is NOT ok. However.. non payment will probably cause your child and yourself some “school gate embarrassment”

@sleepyfarm How did it go?

As a Gran who sometimes takes grandchildren to these parties, I don't agree with the child's patent paying for other parents to attend.
Maybe you could share the cost of an adult taking maybe 2/3 children. That's if the parent has to pay.
Personally I can't see the problem.
If you want your child to join in, say yes.
If you don't want your child to go, for reasons the child will not understand, say no.
If you are not able to afford your entry say, no.
When it comes to presents. You know your child will be invited to parties, buy presents in advance, in sales maybe.
Sorry I don't know what all your abbreviations mean.

No I think you're worrying without reason.Surely you have socks at home and the host might pay the entrance r provide tea,

So if it's an expensive party I'd fork out more for a present.

Side issue, but I don’t follow this logic. Do you believe that if a parent throws a pricey party for their child, that child has honestly earned more expensive presents as a result?

I just can’t get how those things are connected. The parents have surely chosen the party they and their child want, and they can afford/are happy to pay for. You don’t need to compensate them for that! If anything, I’d wonder whether the child with the expensive party already has the best and most expensive toys etc, and think perhaps they would get least benefit from a more generous gift. In reality though I buy according to whether the child is a close friend (same as you say) and how much spare cash I have at the time.

I think paying for the socks is ok but you would think that would be included in the price but you do get to keep them. Bring a drink or buy a jug of juice for you and your child. Ask is it lunch paid at McDonald's or not.

Am I the only over invested one, waiting for the update??

In reception class they are less likely to have made firm friendships so it is quite usual for entire class invites, or i tended to find that when my son was in reception a couple of yrs ago.
You say this is a lot of parents first experience of attending a child's party, have you considered this may be the mums first time hosting a child's party? And may be cut her some slack.
In all fairness she has actually made it more expensive for herself. We have a flip out trampoline experience near us and I pretty sure my friend paid less for a party per head than It was for an hour's entry. Also spectators don't pay entry only if you are jumping with the child and socks are £2 a pair
Just think of how many adult parties were you had to bring a bottle...Did you moan and bint about that?
Also as she isn't likely to have paid the full amount in case of no shows, maybe suggest to her that a party booking maybe cheaper.

Karenw1967 and Dizzywizz
I am wondering if we are all talking about the same friend....
Always self invites her other kid to your party so she doesn't have to pay entry and requests you pay and or bring food with the presents to her own kids parties ....

@OJZJ no wouldn’t be the same for me, the friend only has one child

I think if ur havin a party u should pay 4 the whole thing.... as 4 perants if they have to stay 4 a safty reason then she should pay but if ur just stayin to watch and reason 4 u 2 stay then u should pay

This is if the accompanying adult is actually going on the trampolines to supervise, not for people watching from the sidelines

Aaaarggghhh, why do people not understand that at some parks you have to pay simply to get in and watch your child, even is said child is 16, needs a lift there and back so you might as well stay and chat with your friends and you don't actually watch them at all. It's not rocket science to get that they don't all operate the same policies is it?

Although maybe it is as some posters clearly aren't getting it