Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

I don't think I could be bothered to get worked up. You'll have the socks for next time you go and surely you can watch from the cafe without paying to bounce yourself (that's what I've always done at flip out). Take some water with you and just get some lunch at home.

Haha sorry, trampolining socks what a bloody racket.

My children are now teens and I have never been to a trampoline party where the organiser has offered to pay for parents to attend so I am really confused!

Has she actually said she's not paying for the McDonald's or are you just assuming she isn't?

She is BU! My DC's party cost £250! We paid for food, play, drinks for kids as well as adults. Why should they get to make parents pay just to enable them to invite more kids? Disgusting

I think you need to find out what’s she’s expecting you to pay for before you jump to conclusions and call her a CF. Just ask how much you’ll need to bring to contribute. She might be bringing drinks and snacks for the children AND paying for McDonalds. Just ask.

@BottleOfJameson OP has stated several times that the venue actually charge adults to sit in the cafè and watch!

I am agog to know how a drive-through Macdonalds is going accommodate 30 kids + 30 adults!

If she has invited the whole class , its about a tenner per head thats £300 shes paid out already TBF. £3.00 is not very much really .You could just get DC a drink or some chips ,but happy meals arent too much. I think unless you are really struggling ,then its fair to everyone .Reception is where they are just getting to know each other ,and its kind to invite everyone along as little ones feel left out at first (fine later in yr 1 and 2 I think)

I think if it's invite from the outset it's fine, but once children have been told that they can go it's hard to get out of, extra costs may be okay for most people, but for some it isnt.

If she's taking 30 children to McDonalds afterwards then she must have booked a space and will be paying for their food. It'd be crazy to expect them to have the money with them and to each find a place to sit.

I think you're worrying unnecessarily. You think she won't have a drink for them. You think you'll have to pay for food. She hasn't suggested anything like this. You don't have to wait for your child - you could just drop them off with the money for socks.

We did this for my daughter's tenth party. Took a load of girls although I bought their socks, but came home for food because I didn't want to pay for shit food in a dingy room when I could do pizzas at home. It was great.

I realise I'm totally missing the point of the thread here, but why on earth do you need special socks for trampolining?!

I'm not sure there is much or anything to get worked up about here. Surely parents can bring socks and send a water bottle with their child?

As for parents entry, are you required in the area? If not then drop and collect. I'm surprised that they charge for parents if just spectating

why on earth do you need special socks for trampolining?! they have grips on the bottom of them. I reckon some of that must be linked to insurance.

she has done well to invite the whole class

How? By sending round a group what’s app message?

There’s more to hosting a party than just inviting random people. Such as, you know, actually hosting a party.

Not cheeky at all . You can keep the socks ?
Why do you need to watch? Can you read a book and wait for your child ?

They will survive without a drink for an hour .

How do you know she isn’t bringing water for everyone? Why do you assume you will be fed at a party? I think you are being a little odd.

You don't have to stay though? So you're choosing to stay and complaining about having to pay for that choice. YABU.

If she paid for 30 kids to go that AND MD's after that would have cost a fortune. I'd happily pay for some socks and I'd take a big gym bottle drink with me - no one ever says anything.

I wouldn't pay for MD's crap though so if she said parents are paying I'd say thanks for the invite and take my kid home to eat.

I meant financially shelling out £300 then for a McDonalds afterwards. Don’t shout me down of little Tarquins party cost £500 and little Camilla’s cost 2K but for ordinary people £300 is a lot maybe her budget was £200 maximum but DC insisted she had to invite the whole class so paying for socks and food when many probably already had them may have been seen as a step too far.

Can we have an update yet?

There’s more to hosting a party than just inviting random people. Such as, you know, actually hosting a party.

This for me too. These are young kids; presumably most parents won't be happy to leave them at a venue that's open to the public/with other random patrons about. And for some people £3 is a thing. Plus the uncertainly of it all feels a bit thoughtless. If you have to host a party on these terms (and I don't think you do, really) then guests need a clear explanation upfront: "Party is from x-y time. I've paid for the DC but not the parents, so if you want to go in it's £x, and DC will each need a pair of special socks at £x - you'll get to keep them! At x time we'll be walking over to the McDonalds at [address], where [lunch is on me][you're welcome to pay for your own lunch and eat with our family]."

I'd be hugely uncomfortable "hosting" a party and not paying for everything associated with it, but if you're going to do that at least be fully upfront about it.

Then don't go