Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

It wouldn’t bother me as long as I knew.

I didn't think parents would have to pay entry for just watching their kids in there?

@aryastarkwolf yes they do unless it's an actual party that's been booked.

Trampolining is around £10-£12 a head around here and you're still getting a free session. I'd presume she is paying for the McDonald's too but if not then just say that you have lunch plans already and leave after the trampolining.

She's paid entry for 30+ kids?! I don't think she is being a CF.

Take a bottle of water in your handbag and give McDonald's a miss if you don't want to spend the extra.

I’ve bought the socks for a party. But you keep them so I suppose it’s right you buy them (and we’ve used them lots since).
Adults paying own entry - just no, unless it’s a drop off party and they are older.

I went in to watch and didn't pay... Am I a cf?
My dc have missed many parties as I was unable to afford these extras.

Yanbu to be miffed op.

You shouldn’t have to pay to get in, adults watching are usually free.
The socks are yours to keep, it might have been nice for her to pay but I wouldn’t mind too much about that.
Not providing drinks is a bit tight but as long as she is very clear she isn’t paying for food or drinks again it’s not something I have an issue with

yes they do unless it's an actual party that's been booked.

Really? That seems really odd and a bit cheeky of the trampoline place

I know paying for entry for so many children must be costing a fortune. But wouldn't you just invite less and do a proper party? I would. She's worded it as a party on the whats app group. What if some of these parents don't have the money to pay when they turn up? It's so cringeworthy!

Sounds a bit odd.

Socks - fine I think

It’s like a miss popular party with out the cost. If money is an issue then she should invite fewer guests.

I hated all class parties

Well they should turn up with money in case

Why would she pay for adults? She's paid for the children attending... that's all that's required for a party in my eyes.

I think if is a little cf actually. They ought to pay for drinks. What if parents just dropped them in? Waited for them to finish and meet then outside? Or do you have to stay? How old are these children? Probably I wouldnt go as I couldn't afford the extras.

I agree @vulpine but for some of these parents this may be the first party invite they've had (reception class) so they probably aren't expecting to have to pay anything?

My DD has her 5th party at a place like this in a few weeks.
I’ve paid for the socks, and food etc and the parents don’t have to pay to come watch.
£18 a kid though, she won’t be having another party there 😂

I don’t see the issue. She has prewarned you and as you’ve been before, I don’t see why you can’t reuse or take you own cheaper socks along with a bottle of water.

I suspect a large number of five year olds would much prefer McDonald’s to the party food and imagine the birthday child has requested it.

Are you sure adults who are just watching, have to pay?

I wouldn’t expect to stay. All the trampoline parties that my child has been to have been ‘drop off’ parties. If I felt the need to stay then I would just pay the spectator fee, which is only few quid, or I would just hang out in the waiting area.

@yabadee yes I agree it's extortionate!

But surely placing some of the cost of the party onto the unwitting parents is a tad unfair, if she thinks it's too expensive there are so many cheaper options for full class parties!

I once knew someone who invited children to a 'party' at local soft play place. But she hadn't booked a party, parents arrived and had to pay entry for their children themselves!!

Yes the fee as an accompanying adult is £3.

@hussherbye now that is definitely CF 😂

I don't see why parents should be paid for. She is inviting the kids, and
presumably is happy to look after them all, if the parents want to stay and watch then that is their choice and they should pay for it. When my kids were younger and went to such parties I would just it in the reception area with a book, so I was on site if needed but not actually at the side watching. Is that possible with the place they are going to (realise that each place will have a different lay out)

She has shelled out for the kids. If it's £10 each that's £300+. Doesn't sound like she's being 'cheap' to me, especially if she pays for the McDonald's.