She’s taking all of our money... pissed off big time

[Busybusybee2000]

I’m one of 3 siblings. Ever since my younger sister was born mum has been broke. Always scrimping and scraping. I’m now 40 and my little sister is 23. She has continually borrowed and I have given her hundreds of pounds over the year so has our brother. She mainly used to financially drain me and my brother but is now doing it to my lil sis as she still lives at home. We’ve tried to help mum by sending her job adverts, helping with cv’s etc but She is stuck In Her ways and doesn’t like change. She’s nearly 60 so I get that she’s reluctant to move jobs.
I have my own child so when she borrows/keeps money it leaves us short. We’re all fed up of it but not sure what to do. She says she doesn’t eat some evening due to no money to buy food. She won’t ask her partner to help her because she’s embarrassed to tell him Her situation. She borrows money from us all but keeps it quiet but now we all tell each other when she asks. I’m in a well paid job but I’m a single parent. I’m at the end of my tether. Feels like we’re paying for being born. What should I do?!

Op think about it logically.

She has no money. Loans going back 20 years (so clearly hasnt kept up to the payments and been paying less or not paying at all). She doesnt have loads of 'stuff' and apparantly has no food. Where do you think it's going?
Its ok saying 'poor money management'. But it has to be going on something.
Poor money management doesnt mean money has disappeared into think air. It's been spent on something.

The fact that you dont know what it is, means theres something you dont know.

And then she buys an expensive handbag when she is taking money or her children and therefore, grandchildren?

Theres something going on, that you dont know about.

If she's been in debt for 20 years and is on a low income, it could have literally Just hone on interest and charges. It's a shame that the PPI deadline has passed because I'd be willing to bet she's paid thousands on it.

If she has persistent credit card debts the new rules might help her as they will basically freeze her credit cards until she is out of debt, as credit cards aren't intended to be used for long term borrowing as the payments only Just cover the interest. But without help or intervention, chances are she'll be in debt for the rest of her life.

I've not RTFT, so don't know if anyone's recommended nationaldebtline.org. There's a lot of help out there with clearing debt, if your dm is happy to open up about it. CAB is good too. Might be easier to discuss with strangers than her own family?
I'm a similar age to your dm and wouldn't ever lean on my kids for regular money. I agree with others - stop enabling her behaviour, speak to her partner (who needs to be contributing more) and give her contacts for debt advice. Local libraries often have CAB drop-in sessions. She's got to start sorting this out. Good luck!

Could be my mum...

She needs to take new debt advice and she needs to come clean with her partner. If he is staying 5 nights a week, he needs to pay 5/7ths of what you sister does in theory, although could screw up any benefits she received if he’s seen as living with her.

In work poverty is a real thing with housing and childcare costs so high, but it does sound in this case like there is more going on if she has hardly any mortgage.

Why is your mum so short of money? If it's not her fault then I think you should be helping.

If she's been in debt for 20 years and is on a low income, it could have literally Just hone on interest and charges. It's a shame that the PPI deadline has passed because I'd be willing to bet she's paid thousands on it.

Op said earlier a few her debts have been reduced to £1 a week. She isnt paying a fortune or just interest. To pay such a small amount, it's likely they have been frozen.

It amazes me that so many people are trying to find justification for this woman when she is taking money from her own kids AND just went and spent a bonus and an 'extravagant handbag', knowing she will be back begging very shortly.

It's quite obvious she is taking the piss.