Son says I've ruined Valentine's Day!

[DollyDaydream70]

Hi all
I was supposed to visit my partner who lives a 3 hour train journey away this weekend, but I've been unwell and called him this morning to say that I won't be going. I then went to tell my 20 yr old Son (who lives with me) that I'm staying home this weekend and he's gone mad!!
He says I've ruined Valentine's Day for him and his girlfriend, that they wanted the flat to themselves and that I'm selfish and I'm staying home 'just to annoy him!'. He also stated that he pays towards the rent and should have a say over the situation! I said I think if that's how he feels, maybe he should start looking for his own place, as I won't be bullied out of my own home, especially when I'm feeling so unwell.
I told him that for MANY Valentine's Days I've not been able to have a romantic one because I've had 2 children at home, and that he's being silly and selfish. I said if it means that much to him that he should book a hotel for the night. Am I being unreasonable?

What an entitled twat.
Kindly suggest he's free to move out. And I'd expect an apology before I talk to him again. Wow.

About time the entitled prick moved out by the sounds of it.

"He’s upset because he’s been cockblocked by mum"

Well yes!

I was trying to think how to put it succinctly!

I understand him being disappointed but any reaction other than a slightly disappointed 'oh ok' then making sure you're feeling ok and rearranging his plans for another night, is a complete over reaction.

Eh, at 20 years old, a grown adult man should have his own place, OP.

Just tell him to get a hotel for the night.
It’s not your fault that you’re poorly and point out to him that your and your partner’s Valentine’s evening has been ruined too.

If I were in your son's shoes I'd be annoyed but hopefully by 20 have the sensitivity not to show it. I wouldn't engage with him about it tbh, it's just one of those things where things haven't gone his way, tough shit, things happen that way sometimes.

I hope you have apologised abjectly to the poor young man for your failure to consult him over your decision to become ill.

He’s old enough to live alone, I moved out at 16. YANBU at all, your house your rules. He can get a hotel room.

I just watched my sons girlfriend bury her father today, she’s 20.

Tell him he’s an entitled, selfish little shit and he’s lucky to have you.

@ProclivitiesMcManus You're ever so slightly outvoted. I think I'll stay home in the flat that has MY name on the tenancy agreement and that I pay all the bills for thanks. As the main breadwinner I'm allowed to change my plans as and when I please. It's because of people like you that today's youngsters are self entitled snowflakes.

Had exactly the same thing this weekend, with my 21 year old. His brother is staying at a friends, his two ssters are at Grandmas, and because his gf of five years lives so far away they had a lovely long weekend planned while brother wasn;'t sharing a room for once and me and his dad were off to London. Now Husbands been called into work, and I'm not going on me own, so I sheepishly told my lad that I would now be home, he said I can join them for dinner (hes making bacon sarnies and angel delight lmao) but can I please please please walk the dog for at least half an hour to an hour!!!
I nearly wet myself laughing....I told him five minutes round the block should probably be enough! lol (They say romance is dead! lol)
I shall therefore be putting in me earplugs in the front room and watching eastenders on full blast tonight!!! lol

You are right. X

As much as I think he’s being a bit of a dick, I’m not fond of the mumsnet notion that as soon as our kids turn 18 they should be in their own place. Who earns enough at that age to rent a flat? Very few! It’s a stupid opinion that has no bearing in the real world where rent is astronomical and well beyond the means of most young people starting out in life.

I can understand his disappointment even if he didn’t express it very well. He owes you an apology. Cheeky git.

He is being unreasonable but from the sounds of it it's coming from a place of disappointment and frustration, not nastiness.

While he might be disappointed, being an adult means handling that disappointment in a civil way. It does not give him the right to rant at his mother. If the disappointment is so great he forgets manners and maturity, then he can move out and get his own place.

They were got to do nudies in your flat ... on your furniture! You’ve prevented some unwelcome emissions - well done.

@RightestPersonOnMN

you are indeed the Rightest person on MN!

Cockblocked 🤣

He’s just annoyed because you’ve ruined his night of passion. Its understandable that he is disappointed, but he shouldn’t be going mad at you, you can’t help being ill.

He’ll get over it and if he can’t he can move out.

If he had been gracious I might have got a seat at the cinema and snoozed through a film. However he was not.

Whatever happened to quiet country lanes and steaming up the cars windows.

Whatever happened to quiet country lanes and steaming up the cars windows

@Carriecakes80 I love this, and this is exactly what my other (older) Son would do. I know I've ruined (younger) Son's plans, and I get that he's disappointed, but such is life. Things don't always go to plan do they?!!

Them’s the breaks when you still live with the parentals, I’m afraid. He’s just going to have to suck it up.

@recrudescence PMSL 😂😂😂

If I felt well enough I'd have gone to my fella's as planned though. I really don't feel well enough, or have the energy, to go out. I will however stay in the living room, out of earshot of whatever may go on in his room... I wouldn't mind, at that age my boyfriend wasn't even allowed upstairs, my Dad would never have allowed us to have the house to ourselves, period!