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AIBU?

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Original poster

10.45pm pickup for 9yo’s birthday party?!

187 replies

Nitpickpicnic · 09/02/2020 21:03

Got an invitation through from school today. Says drop-off 5pm, pickup 10.45pm!

Admittedly the birthday girl is turning 10, but she’s the oldest in the class by many months (held back). Everyone else is just 9. It’s a Saturday night, party at the girl’s home.

I thought I had a few more years until I had to stay up past my own bedtime to drive my DD home from socialising! She’ll certainly be a write-off the whole next day. Would you find this a bit annoying and inappropriate, or is it perfectly normal in your circle?

OP posts:
ForestYeti · 09/02/2020 21:04

I’d be picking her up at 9 at the latest

tillytoodles1 · 09/02/2020 21:05

I wouldn't say it was normal. but if it's a Saturday night and a one off then I don't see the harm.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 09/02/2020 21:08

Sounds like a sleepover without the sleeping. I'd prefer that than a normal sleepover as at least your Dd can get a good night's sleep at home. I would be quite happy with that scenario, if we go to an evening theatre show we don't get back until then it's fine as a one off.

CalamityJune · 09/02/2020 21:08

Is there something specific planned that needs to take that long? If it made sense, like a movie double bill and takeaway pizza or something then I could kind of see it but then again, why not have it in the afternoon?

Sunshine1235 · 09/02/2020 21:09

Yeh I wonder if the birthday girl wanted a sleepover and this was a compromise. Please don’t pick her up at 9, it’s a one off so unless you have something important the next day id just embrace it and be grateful it’s not a sleepover

KittenVsBox · 09/02/2020 21:10

Hmm, my 9 yr old wouldnt cope with that. He is asking to go to bed by 9 if he is still up then.
My oldest would have been absolutely fine at that age.
Weve never had an invite that late.

Ullupullu · 09/02/2020 21:14

Not normal. Is it a movie night of some kind?

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 09/02/2020 21:15

Just say you'll pick her up at 9pm - far too late for 9 & 10 year olds!

reluctantbrit · 09/02/2020 21:15

I agree, it sounds like a pyjama party with sleeping at home. Why not? One late night won't cause harm and she will sleep hopefully better than at her friend's house.

I would ask what the "programm" is though

Doryhunky · 09/02/2020 21:17

Pick up at nine.

runninguphills · 09/02/2020 21:22

Don't uck her up at 9pm. She'll be sad to leave her friends and wonder why she's the only one that has to leave.

My 10 year old went to a sleep over a few weeks ago and they didn't go to sleep until the early hours.

This sounds a good compromise.

She'll be fine and will love it! They'll all be full of sweets and enjoying each others company.

Just have a mellow Sunday and let her have a nap.

Bluerussian · 09/02/2020 21:23

Play it by ear. Tell the mum that if your daughter seems very tired, to let her ring you to pick her up.

A lot of kids of that age would have fun until quite late at a party, dancing and very excited, but it is unusual.

TokyoSushi · 09/02/2020 21:25

I'd investigate a bit more what it actually is, if it's like a sleepover without the actual staying over then maybe. If it's some sort of adult party/disco type of thing then maybe not.

It does seem a bit unusual though...

doubleshotespresso · 09/02/2020 21:27

9pm would be my absolute latest that's far too late to my mind

Brevityisthesoulofwit · 09/02/2020 21:28

My 9 yo had a sleepover for her birthday and they were awake until after midnight so I agree with others it’s a sleepover without the sleeping!!

That said though I’d be a bit peeved that my evening was disrupted so the birthday girl’s parent could have a quiet night!

SoftSheen · 09/02/2020 21:30

No chance! For 9 year olds, 8 pm pickup would be plenty late enough (or alternatively, have a sleepover). My DD (almost 9) would never stay awake until 10.45!

MintyMabel · 09/02/2020 21:34

Got an invitation through from school today

On a Sunday?

Itwasntme1 · 09/02/2020 21:34

It is late, but could you just accept Sunday is a duvet day and let her stay as long as she can? Tell her to ring you when she wants to come home.

I remember staying up really late at slumber parties and being so excited. You don’t want her to feel she has missed out, and if you trust the parents then the only harm will be a tired nine year old?

overnightangel · 09/02/2020 21:34

There’ll be tears long before 10:45!!

Swatsup · 09/02/2020 21:35

Brilliant compromise if she wanted a sleep over, and they will all get much more sleep.

bigchris · 09/02/2020 21:37

No way I'd be doing that one Saturday night!

I'd be at home in my Pjs with a glass of wine

They either let the kids sleepover or have it earlier and finish at a reasonable time

FuzzyAtmosphere · 09/02/2020 21:37

I think you either decline or pick her up at 10:45. I’m guessing they will be having a special birthday meal followed by a film, so you will just disturb everyone and ruin the birthday girl’s evening if you turn up at 9.

DesLynamsMoustache · 09/02/2020 21:42

It wouldn't bother me for a one off on a weekend evening tbh if it's something she wants to go to. But then I don't drink and I don't to go bed early so it's not a big deal for me to jump in the car and go collect!

WaterSheep · 09/02/2020 21:43

They either let the kids sleepover or have it earlier and finish at a reasonable time

I agree with this. It's going to be past 11pm when you get her home. The party hosts are being very unreasonable.

NaturallyEden · 09/02/2020 21:46

@MintyMabel Plenty of countries have school on a Sunday.