10.45pm pickup for 9yo’s birthday party?!

[Nitpickpicnic]

Got an invitation through from school today. Says drop-off 5pm, pickup 10.45pm!

Admittedly the birthday girl is turning 10, but she’s the oldest in the class by many months (held back). Everyone else is just 9. It’s a Saturday night, party at the girl’s home.

I thought I had a few more years until I had to stay up past my own bedtime to drive my DD home from socialising! She’ll certainly be a write-off the whole next day. Would you find this a bit annoying and inappropriate, or is it perfectly normal in your circle?

How did it go?

I can see totally why you'd take friends home so dd isn't the odd one out leaving early. Just be careful this don't backfire from the silent parents in the future as they could be happy to hide behind you but not be honest if/ when needed.

Why didn’t the other parents know what time pick up was

Why are they backing you quietly from a distance

If they had a problem with it being too late they should have told mum

Yes I like a drink at the weekend. I work nights all week so no drinking then

But would happily not drink to pick up and know my daughter was safe

Why pick up 45m early

I have a nearly 15 year old and no-one generally schedules pick up for them after 9pm - after than it's a sleepover, anything else is pretty inconvenient for parents.

For one thing I'm often in bed by 9.30/10pm for work and am too tired to drive after then. DH is more of a night owl fortunately so can do late pick ups from school trips and so on. I do any very early morning ones though.

I like a drink on a Saturday night but no so much that I'd ruin a party because it meant I'd miss one out of 52 weekends of drinking that year.
I hope you did the decent thing and told the parents up front half the party guests would be leaving early so you didn't leave the birthday girl with her friends all disappearing as a birthday surprise.

I think the teens are going to be very trying for you all. Just let her have some fun on a one-off night.

@BlueJava agreed .
And those saying their child won’t be good for anything the next day..
blimey how much sleep do they need ?
Dd8 went to bed at 10:15 last night as we were out for the day and she woke up at 8:30 this morning ,bright as a button as normal

@FizzyIce doesn't matter what time my kids go to bed. DS1's eyes fly open at 5.57. He's 10. This is as good as it has got.
I can count on one hand the number of times DS2 has slept past 7am.
If they had 10 hrs sleep, like your daughter had, they would be as bright as a button. But on 7 hrs, my kids struggle - and realistically, a 10.45 pickup is likely to be an 11.30 bed/midnight asleep.

It's not just about how much they need, it's also about when they'll take it. Until he was 13, ds1 was up at 6.30am every day and regardless of bedtime. Now at 14 he will sometimes sleep til 7.30am. So if he goes to bed really late he's knackered the next day. As a 1 off - parties, sleepovers - we let him get on w it.

🙄🙄 what a big fat fuss about a 10:45 pick up. It’s not 2am.

Your Sunday sounds pretty regimented, but not exactly action filled. The only thing that needed to change was letting DD sleep in when you went to church (or one if you staying home if you’re not happy to leave her for a bit). Nothing else needed to change.

Drama llama.

Now you’ve spoilt another child’s party - how mean.

Good grief. What a drama. Does seem late to me though.

But with teenagers, 15 and 16 year olds, parties here are 8pm till midnight. And all the parents I know pick up. So best get used to being 'dads cabs'!

Update:

Lovely time was had by all. As usual with big (class) parties, some kids were dropped off late, some picked up early. The host parents were unfazed about the comings and goings, especially since it was organised fairly ‘last minute’. The kids were mainly in little groups around the property throughout the party- it wasn’t just one big group activity. By the time I picked up my bunch, half the kids were gone already and the host parents were kicking back with wine themselves.

My kid was in bed asleep by 10.20 and we managed a bit of our Sunday plans. More than if I’d picked up at 10.45, and got her into bed at 11 something. She needs her sleep. Always awake by 7am, no matter what. Not saying all kids are like mine in that way.

Sorry to report that no drama, hysterical birthday girl, bemused Spanish parents or lightening bolts from above happened .

To reiterate, everyone involved was the one (predominant) culture. And just cos it’s come up so frequently, I’m actually an atheist. DD sings in the church choir. Thanks for responding, the voting at 80/20 tells me I’m not alone in thinking bedtimes after 11pm aren’t usual or ideal at 9yo!