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Original poster

10.45pm pickup for 9yo’s birthday party?!

187 replies

Nitpickpicnic · 09/02/2020 21:03

Got an invitation through from school today. Says drop-off 5pm, pickup 10.45pm!

Admittedly the birthday girl is turning 10, but she’s the oldest in the class by many months (held back). Everyone else is just 9. It’s a Saturday night, party at the girl’s home.

I thought I had a few more years until I had to stay up past my own bedtime to drive my DD home from socialising! She’ll certainly be a write-off the whole next day. Would you find this a bit annoying and inappropriate, or is it perfectly normal in your circle?

OP posts:
FrockFrockFrockityFrock · 09/02/2020 21:52

Absolutely let her stay until 10:45 when everyone else leaves. It is so horrible having to leave before all your friends because your Mum says so. I hated that when I was growing up.

KittenVsBox · 09/02/2020 21:52

Hmm, that's a good point. If it's a Sat night, with school on a Sunday it's not so great.

chickedeee · 09/02/2020 21:56

Better than a sleep over imo Wink

Marriedwithchildren5 · 09/02/2020 21:56

Ah kids bounce back. My issue would be as previously said Saturday and a few glasses of wine!

Stompythedinosaur · 09/02/2020 21:56

I think that's far too late, but I would probably let them go but ask the host parent to call me if they got too tired.

DecemberSnow · 09/02/2020 21:57

Does she attend Sunday school?

Of so, then its crazy...

What is the party?

clary · 09/02/2020 21:59

The invitation is unusual but my DC did Guides and Scouts at age 10 till 9pm/9.30pm, and that was every week and on a school night; they were always fine the next day.

So I guess I'm saying 10.45 as a one off on a Saturday is ok. Dd used to be in a panto that finished at 10pm typically and there would be under 10s in a) the audience and b) the show. They seem to be ok.

I would find out why it's so late tho, ie are they out at a show or movie? If you do plan to pick her up early (please don't tho) then that might be an issue.

TheDuckSaysMoo · 09/02/2020 21:59

Really wouldn't bother me. Well, it would annoy me to have to go out to pick her up, but the principle for a 9 / 10 year old to be up at 10:45 us fune and I would be happy to do it as an occasional thing for my DC.

Wishforsnow · 09/02/2020 22:00

Sounds fine to me. If it were a sleepover they would be up way later. Think of brownie camps etc. They would be later or you could ask if they could sleep over then you will have to get up early and collect and your child will still be tired. Maybe they don't have the room for sleepovers

formerbabe · 09/02/2020 22:02

Are the family from another culture op? Lots of other cultures are far more relaxed about children staying up late compared to brits.

champagneandfromage50 · 09/02/2020 22:03

I would say 945 pm pick up for ten yr old on a Saturday is unusual but ok. A pain for the adults however far better than a sleep over. As sleep overs guarantee the sunday is a right off as in my experience they stay up all night and the morning is like a scene out of the shining!

LaPoesieEstDansLaRue · 09/02/2020 22:04

It's unusual for 9 year olds but as others have said it's definitely preferable to a sleepover where they're often up much later and fit for nothing the next day. I'd let my DD do it as a one off.

Nogoodusername · 09/02/2020 22:04

Wouldn’t bother me for a one off. I have a 9 year old - child can stay up later than me on holiday and still wake up perky!

smashstore · 09/02/2020 22:05

It wouldn't bother me. Mine is never asleep before 11:30pm anyway Sad

SwansGlide · 09/02/2020 22:06

Why not find out what they'll be doing. 5 3/4 hours is a long time but also a specific time, so maybe they have something special planned in the timeframe. If you know more you can make a more informed decision.

Mine would be fine if there was a structured plan in that length of time (such as cinema or bowling followed by going for pizza then home for a bit of a disco/play), but if it was an unstructured play for example there would definitely have been tears before bedtime Smile

Comefromaway · 09/02/2020 22:07

Good grief. It was ds’s 16th party last night. The last teen left at 10pm, most went at 9.30pm!

For my dd’s 10th birthday her friend’s parents did pick her up at 11pm but that was because we’d driven to another city to watch a touring show. A one off and just 3 kids.

TheresWaldo · 09/02/2020 22:07

It sounds fine to me. Of course the annoying thing is the late pick up, but unfortunately in my experience you have to start to get used to those ;-) Mine is 16 now and after midnight is the norm for parties here.
A 9 yo will not melt having one late night with her friends.

Nogoodusername · 09/02/2020 22:07

It is definitely more sleep than a sleep over... more likely to lie in the next day in her own bed as well

formerbabe · 09/02/2020 22:09

My dd is 9 and wouldn't be able to stay up that late. I'm more relaxed about bed times in school holidays and by 9pm she is asking to go to bed. My ds could have stayed up that late at age 9.

4forkssake · 09/02/2020 22:10

I don't get the issue. I'm assuming there's no school on Sunday (some people do send invites by other means than paper handed out at school) hence the invite received today.

There's nothing worse than being the child who can't stay late when your friends can. And I'm sure, even if you drink, one night not having a drink so your child can attend isn't a hardship. If it was a sleepover, presumably you wouldn't have a drink anyway in case you had to collect during the night (by the way OP, that wasn't aimed at you, just mentioning it as someone said they wouldn't be going out to pick their child up after they'd settled down with a wine)

Yes it's late, but if you can arrange to have a lazy day the next day, she'll love you for it!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 09/02/2020 22:10

Och it's fine
It's just one night, live a little. She can have a lie in in her own bed the next day.
If they slept over they'd be up past midnight....or all night and up at 6

Harakeke · 09/02/2020 22:11

For a one off I think it's fine. My two (5 and 8) stayed up to ring in the new year on new year's eve and were fine. Although, you know your child so if there is reason to think they won't cope that's a different story.

Branster · 09/02/2020 22:12

Way too late for a 9 year old because she will be really tired and grumpy for the next day not because you find it inconvenient to stay up a bit late.

However, you do realise you’ll have to do pick ups past midnight once DD is over a certain age. As much as you’d share with other parents, you’ll still have to do some.

twosoups1972 · 09/02/2020 22:16

I'm surprised at some of these responses.

I've got 3 girls, youngest is 12 and they'd never have been invited to a Saturday night party at that age or even a few years older.

There's plenty of time ahead for late parties.

And apart from anything else, nearly 6 hours is WAY too long. They'll all start getting over-tired/hyper/start bickering etc.

Why not do 5-8pm, that's long enough!

Grobagsforever · 09/02/2020 22:16

This definitely sounds like birthday girl wanted a sleepover and this is the compromise. What's the issue? My 9 year is rarely asleep before 11pm at a sleepover, yes she's grumpy next day but so what? It's a Sunday.

Pick her up at 10.45, it's irritating to sacrifice you're Saturday wine - flip with DH for it or take an Uber if that's an option?

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