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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

10.45pm pickup for 9yo’s birthday party?!

187 replies

Nitpickpicnic · 09/02/2020 21:03

Got an invitation through from school today. Says drop-off 5pm, pickup 10.45pm!

Admittedly the birthday girl is turning 10, but she’s the oldest in the class by many months (held back). Everyone else is just 9. It’s a Saturday night, party at the girl’s home.

I thought I had a few more years until I had to stay up past my own bedtime to drive my DD home from socialising! She’ll certainly be a write-off the whole next day. Would you find this a bit annoying and inappropriate, or is it perfectly normal in your circle?

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 09/02/2020 22:16

Are they going to the theatre to see something that won’t finish until 10-ish? Only possibly reason I can think of for it.

Grobagsforever · 09/02/2020 22:17

@twosoups, you're kids don't do sleepovers?

Purpleartichoke · 09/02/2020 22:17

Is it a sleep-under? They do all the sleepover stuff, including staying up late, but head home so they actually get some sleep and can sleep in the next morning.

twosoups1972 · 09/02/2020 22:20

@Grobagsforever yes they did occasionally but that's a bit different isn't it? And contrary to what seems to be a thing on MN of kids being awake all night, mine settled down before midnight.

LizzieSiddal · 09/02/2020 22:26

If it’s a few close friends then I’d let her stay till 10.45.

If it’s a lot of children then I’d be picking her up early because the potential for mayhem is too much at that time of night.

MrsP2015 · 09/02/2020 22:27

What's your dds thoughts?

Have you spoke to other parents?

SanFranBear · 09/02/2020 22:27

It is definitely odd but I would let my 9yo go.. hell, I'd let my 'just 8yo' go if he wanted to. It's a Saturday night and other than the pain of having to get her, I can't get too worked up about this. If the pick up is an issue, could you arrange a drop off with one of the other parents?

Grobagsforever · 09/02/2020 22:29

@twosoups - so the issue from your point of view is just inconvenience for the parents then? I agree its a PITA but it's just one night. Wouldn't do it every Saturday

nokidshere · 09/02/2020 22:33

It's a one off, I'd let mine go. Do you never do anything that requires a late night? Surely she can recover on Sunday.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/02/2020 22:34

Seems a weird time. Why not round up to 11

But it’s one late night not the end of the world

Def don’t pick up earlier and let her be the one who had to go early

BackforGood · 09/02/2020 22:41

I'd be wondering what they are going to be doing for so long Confused and why it finishes at 1/4 to ?? Why not 11, or 10.30 ?

I mean, I wouldn't worry too much about my dc being up that late as a one off, but the whole thing sounds a bit odd.

converseandjeans · 09/02/2020 22:42

Agree with everyone else that it sounds like a sleepover but they go home so they do actually get some sleep - but get the excitement of friends staying late and watching a film etc.
Mine would be fine with that time tbh but I guess everyone is different. I would just go for it as a one off.

DiegoSaber · 09/02/2020 22:44

Seems a weird time. Why not round up to 11

Lol that's what I came to say? The lateness wouldn't bother me personally, but I've never seen a party end at something.45 Grin How oddly specific!

idontlike789 · 09/02/2020 22:46

10.45pm for a 9 year old, I remember when I was 17 on a week night I had to be home for 10.30pm and my friend was told 10pm I remember my friend ringing her Dad from the pub asking for longer ( before mobile phones) . Are parents a lot more liberal these days ?

gamerwidow · 09/02/2020 22:48

It's a one off it'll be fine. I've had DD(9) friends round after school on a Friday for a couple of play dates and dropped them home at 930pm they could easily have gone another hour and a bit and not been tired and that's after a whole day at school.

CJsGoldfish · 09/02/2020 22:49

Sounds great to me. A sleepover without the annoyingness of actually sleeping over

smashstore · 09/02/2020 22:56

10.45pm for a 9 year old, I remember when I was 17 on a week night I had to be home for 10.30pm and my friend was told 10pm I remember my friend ringing her Dad from the pub asking for longer ( before mobile phones) . Are parents a lot more liberal these days ?

There is nothing liberal about a few 9/10 year olds staying up a bit late as a one off!

Also, being home for 10:30pm at 17 was unheard of in my friend circle - over 40 now. Half of us had left home anyway by then.

Scrump21 · 09/02/2020 23:00

I would let her go, it's a supervised party and a one off... I would feel like she would miss out if she had to go home an hour and 45 mins early

caulkheaded · 09/02/2020 23:01

This is all very odd.

firawla · 09/02/2020 23:02

I’d be fine with it, it’s a party as a one off

PickleMyPepper · 09/02/2020 23:10

Agree with others.
If there's a specific reason why the party isn't finishing till that time (which I'm sure there will be, pretty random otherwise) it would be pretty unfair to pick her up almost two hours early.

AgentPrentiss · 09/02/2020 23:11

I’m usually dog tired by that time myself so would worry about driving. My own 10 yo would still be the life of the party though. He’s never tired. Hmm

Crunchymum · 09/02/2020 23:11

Are you coming back @Nitpickpicnic

Bluewater1 · 09/02/2020 23:12

Seems ridiculously late! Was it a text invite? Could it be a typo?

Xmasbaby11 · 09/02/2020 23:14

It's an odd time to finish. I'd be curious and want to know why it isn't 10pm or 11pm!

My dd is just 8 and can easily stay up til 10. She doesn't do sleepovers yet but I reckon she'd be fine for a 10.45 finish when she's 9.