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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

588 replies

GimmeTheSnacks · 05/02/2020 23:44

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

OP posts:
LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 08:13

A packet of microwave rice is NOT enough for 2 people, no matter what is says on the back, wouldn't fill a hole in your tooth.

So your hubby came in after working, probably starving, sees a curry, bangs a pk of Microwave rice in the microwave and takes himself a big portion of curry....I thought he swiped 4 chicken breasts off the side when they were cooling!

The man was hungry after working late into the night, he saw a cooked meal and had some. God shoot him!!

ArthurMorgan · 06/02/2020 08:14

My dp would have asked.. "what's this chicken all about?".. I. E can I eat it? Or is it for something else? That's all it would take.

As for only saving the 5 year old some and not your other dc or you is really selfish.

4 chicken breasts is obviously not spare food! Ridiculous!

PersephoneandHades · 06/02/2020 08:15

Also OP, if he's crap at cooking perhaps tomorrow he can take the time to learn by cooking dinner for you and DS

Puddleshook · 06/02/2020 08:18

All these, "what, you didn't have his tea on t'table after a hard day's graft down the mine" type responses are blowing my mind. We've got such a long way to go!

Damntheman · 06/02/2020 08:18

I'm horrified for you OP! No it's not acceptable, I can't believe he'd just eat it all without checking. AND at 10pm AND after already having eaten his dinner at work, that is just shocking. I'd be raging to be honest, we budget for food too and taking food away from our children is just so far from okay. I do hope he's apologised properly and won't do it again.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 06/02/2020 08:19

Is he remorseful, OP?

DobbinOnTheLA · 06/02/2020 08:20

Is he Joey Tribbiani? What's his turkey consumption like?

PersephoneandHades · 06/02/2020 08:20

@LettertoHermoine as OP has said several times now, she also works yet doesn't come home to a hot home cooked meal, why is he entitled to this? Something tells me it's to do with him having a penis.

As OP has also stated, they need to budget for the food as a family and her DH had already had dinner, helping himself to the curry she had taken the time to cook for the family despite having already eaten and also knowing that OP cooks meals for future dinners in advance is nothing other than selfish.

Even if he did think it was dinner for that night, he didn't leave any for her!! But yes, the poor, poor man! He's so hard done by!

Bluntness100 · 06/02/2020 08:22

Gosh some of the abuse being hurled at this man is beyond unbelievable. You'd think he slaughtered a puppy the way some are going on. Confused

Yes it was a bit thoughtless and he made a mistake. He should have asked first and not assumed you'd eaten and it was left out for him. A microwave packet of rice is not generally enough for two people though.

OwlBeThere · 06/02/2020 08:23

‘Horrified’ and ‘shocking’? It’s some curry, he didn’t drop an atomic bomb on the house. Calm down dear.

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:26

He didn't work late into the night he went to a friends after work. I think half a pack is enough with a curry which could generously serve 4 adults?

OP posts:
Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:28

Sorry I wasn't clear. He had tea at work finishing at 8 then went to a friends and got home around 22:15

OP posts:
MimiLaRue · 06/02/2020 08:29

It was greedy for sure. I wouldnt bother making anything for dinner the next day then- if he asks tell him that he ate it all and HE can sort dinner himself then

LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 08:30

@PersephoneandHades He doesn't cook because he is shit at it so he does the washing up instead. (personally I would prefer to cook than do washing up) So I think that cancels the "entitlement" out or the fact he has a cock :) He does one thing and the OP does another so nobody is being more hard done by than the other.

OP mentions he has already had "tea".... what was the tea? How many hours ago was that? Could it be he had been working till 10 pm and was famished?

The only thing I would criticise him for is not saving OP any but then again, since it was late at night, I would presume he thought she had eaten already.

ofay · 06/02/2020 08:30

I can't work out what he was thinking, it doesn't make sense.

I must say though OP, you are amazing cooking a curry after looking after 3 under 5's all evening.

OwlBeThere · 06/02/2020 08:30

To be clear OP, I’d be annoyed too that he’s basically made your life harder by being thoughtless. I’m certainly not the ‘have my husbands tea on the table’ type, My objection is not to your annoyance but the people insulting him for being hungry by calling him nasty names.

Weenurse · 06/02/2020 08:30

He had already eaten, it is greedy.
I would ask him what he plans on feeding everyone tomorrow.

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2020 08:31

I find the microwave rice packs to be a bit annoying as they're more than you want for one person but a bit stingy for two.
That said, he's packed in a fair bit of food then with that and the chicken. And just not thought to ask if it was for tonight or being kept.
He's not sounding great on the food front. Can't cook so you do it. I get that you said he washes up but is he really doing that at 10 when he gets in, or do you find you do it anyway to get it done?

What was his solution to the problem of what you're going to eat tomorrow?

KidCaneGoat · 06/02/2020 08:31

Yeah I’d be annoyed. He could have asked. It’s very ‘team husband’ to see all that food and only think of yourself

DobbinOnTheLA · 06/02/2020 08:32

How can you mistakenly eat all but a 5 year old's portion? Interesting that he considered the son would enjoy some but not the person who actually made it.

Do you know what he had for his 1st dinner?

LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 08:32

Sorry Crossposted, so he had tea in work, finished at 8, went to a friends, came in at 10.15 starving and took the curry? Sorry I still don't think it's a hangable offence.

Bluntness100 · 06/02/2020 08:35

Yeah I don't think it's hangable either, yes he should have asked but bloody hell. Some people are going right over the top.

Op, for most people half a packet of microwaveable rice isn't a portion, if money is so tight there are much more economic ways to cook rice. Ie buy a large bag and cook it properly. It is very cheap this way and would make the curry go much further if it's eaten with a normal portion of rice.

onanothertrain · 06/02/2020 08:36

Bloody hell some overreactions here. The guy ate some food that was meant for another nights dinner. Big fucking deal. It was a mistake, the insults and controlling behaviour being thrown about is disgusting.

Yeahwhatevs · 06/02/2020 08:36

Wow I'm shocked at some of these responses. It harks back to the idea of the men getting the nicest cut of meat while the rest of the family have to fight over a chicken leg between them. Amazing!

OP your husband was completely greedy and selfish to eat all of that as a snack on top of a dinner he'd already eaten. Especially as you do all of the cooking. And a pack of microwave rice with a meal for three and a half people on top of having already eaten dinner is extremely greedy.

It's also selfish because you'd cooked in advance for next day's dinner, which takes it out of your budget and also gives you extra work for the next day. I'd be leaving out baked beans or fish fingers for him for the next few days while you and the kids have proper meals. YADNBU.

Butterymuffin · 06/02/2020 08:38

It's not that it's the worst thing you could ever do, but it does indicate a lack of thinking about the budget they are on and thinking about other people. So it's selfish. How involved is he in the budgeting and meal planning? Let me guess, it's OP's job to make that work.

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