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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

588 replies

GimmeTheSnacks · 05/02/2020 23:44

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

OP posts:
CameFromAway · 06/02/2020 08:59

I’d be pissed off too, OP.

DP and I have different views on how much meat is a portion. I think full chicken can feed 4, he will happily eat 3/4 of it in one evening.

amusedbush · 06/02/2020 09:00

Fucking hell. My DH is a total gannet who can eat a large Dominos pizza (plus dessert!) without breaking a sweat, but I'm struggling to see how any reasonable person could heat up almost an entire pot of curry, plus a two-person sachet of microwave rice, and not question it.

I can't believe some people are defending this! It's possibly the greediest thing I've ever heard.

mantarays · 06/02/2020 09:00

To be fair, I’ve given up trying to batch cook or cook in advance as well, because my DH does this. He probably wouldn’t eat a full curry but he would eat “leftovers” that I had put aside for tomorrow’s dinner. He means no harm, he just gets peckish and doesn’t think.

But I am a SAHM and the budget isn’t that tight, so I don’t mind.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 06/02/2020 09:00

Lordy, some women on here have pathetically poor expectations of men. I wonder what the fuck they are teaching their poor daughters!

WooMaWang · 06/02/2020 09:01

Honestly this thread is a mix of weird 'how could anyone be annoyed at this; the poor, hungry man; why shouldn't he eat his entire family's meal for the next day?' and 'well I'd need at least 3kg of rice to even touch the sides; of course you'd have a packet of microwave rice plus the whole family meal for a snack; don't you know that men have to eat?'.

Sometimes I think British society really is trying to go back to 1955 (while eating like they're extras in Wall-E).

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/02/2020 09:01

Bluntness
Hysteria is a horrible misogynistic word.

He was greedy and selfish. If he had taken a normal size portion of the curry because he fancied a second dinner then it would have been annoying but possible to work around e.g. bulk out what’s left with lentils or chickpeas. If he takes so much that the OP has to try to magic another meal up for tomorrow night then his greed has made her life harder. Why should she take the consequences of his selfishness?

Bluntness100 · 06/02/2020 09:02

I don't think any one is disputing that if money is so tight they now can't feed themselves tomorrow what he did was ok, he should have checked first, but the hysteria is batshit.

It was a fucking curry. I've seen people cheat and get less abuse.

And compare this to the mad competitive over eating threads, where six donuts is a portion, and eating your kids Easter eggs is a competitive sport.

Now apparently a whole microwaveable packet of rice is for two people, it's like the mythical mumsnet chicken. 🤣🤣🤣

ffswhatnext · 06/02/2020 09:03

Ok fair enough he was hungry.
Still doesn’t make up for the fact that he saw a massive pot of food and he ate almost all of it, apart from some for one child. What about the op and the other child?

Time for him to learn how to cook. The more he does it the better he will become.

And why are people suggesting the op sorts out the next meal? Why should it be down to the op to sort out freezer surprise or pasta even if she didn’t work?

Oh and microwave rice. A healthy portion is 90 grams for an adult. Yet these packets are around 200-250 grams.

SnuggyBuggy · 06/02/2020 09:04

It's not hysteria to call a man out for selfish and thoughtless behavior

LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 09:04

@Bluntness100 Got it in one!

PlanDeRaccordement · 06/02/2020 09:04

This seems very very minor to me. I don’t think I could get worked up into a chickengate level of anger and accuse my DP of being selfish.
To my mind if food is cooked and someone is hungry, they are welcome to it. Even if it is 10pm. Even if it’s a chicken scheduled for eating the next day and not a moment sooner.

I guess to prevent this, leave a note by food left out in the kitchen if you do not want it eaten before the set eating date and hour.

Yeahwhatevs · 06/02/2020 09:05

As usual Bluntness you're making things up to suit your always-contrary narrative. No one's said to lynch him, just that he's selfish and should have to sort himself out tomorrow. Why should OP have to be considerate to him when he's not considerate to the entire family? Did you not read that he'd already eaten tea. And to eat a packet of microwave rice on top of three chicken breasts and veg after already having a meal is greedy in anyone's book unless you're a professional athlete or you're just arguing for the sake of it.

You've clearly never had to do all the food planning and cooking for an entire family on a budget.

mantarays · 06/02/2020 09:06

Oh and microwave rice. A healthy portion is 90 grams for an adult. Yet these packets are around 200-250 grams.

Isn’t it pre-cooked, though? And you just heat it up? I’m pretty sure 90g of rice is about half a cup but uncooked, and when you cook it it doubles in size/weight?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/02/2020 09:07

Yes but the microwave rice is cooked weight. They are not enough for two good adult portions. We have them in as a quick back up, but mostly do a mug of rice for dinner; three good portions.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 06/02/2020 09:09

@Helpinghim it wasn't 'a chicken', it was 4 chicken breasts and veg in a curry, plus a whole packet of microwave rice.

Strugglingtodomybest · 06/02/2020 09:09

Why's everyone going on about roast chicken? Have I missed a post?

Op, your DH is greedy.

WooMaWang · 06/02/2020 09:09

@LettertoHermoine It's not just the budget thing though. Obviously it's a consideration (and indicates that the OP gets left with all the mental labour around budgeting too).

It's the OP's totally wasted labour. She'd already made the meal she was going to serve her whole family for tomorrow's dinner when she came home from work. And now she has to make an entirely new one. And possibly go to the shop because there may not be enough food for it (depending on his food buying is organised in the house). So more time and effort.

But, hey, the husband magnanimously left a portion for one of the children. So the OP only has to figure out how to feed herself and the remainder of the family.

Sure he shouldn't be lynched. But his behaviour and attitude last night were shitty and it's totally fair for the OP to be pissed off.

BarbaraofSeville · 06/02/2020 09:09

Beans on toast for dinner today. If he says anything, remind him that he ate dinner last night as a snack.

The people saying that the OP is BU should remember that not everyone has endless amounts of money available to allow greedy people to eat several meals as a snack.

If there was 4 chicken breasts and vegetables in the curry, it would quite reasonably feed them for dinner with leftovers for the freezer.

The OP has also taken time to make a meal that she has not benefitted from. That's extra annoying and another reason to not cook again tonight, she's already done the work, she shouldn't have to do it again due to his greed.

IceniSky · 06/02/2020 09:11

Based on these responses, this thread highlights why we have an obesity epidemic.

fuckoffImcounting · 06/02/2020 09:11

He was being an entitled greedy pig. He knew well enough it was for tomorrow but did not care. Disrespectful and gluttonous. STB (Starve The Bastard).

PersephoneandHades · 06/02/2020 09:11

@LettertoHermoine Per OP's above update he ate at 8pm, so eating an entire family meal 2 hours later is completely entitled, he definitely had ''tea'', he's not hard done by lol.

As stated, he knows that OP cooks dinners in advance and ate it anyway without talking to her; again, entitled, she will now have to cook again tomorrow so all her prep has gone down the drain and he spared no thought about her efforts.

amusedbush · 06/02/2020 09:12

Now apparently a whole microwaveable packet of rice is for two people

It is Confused

I'm a grubber but I couldn't eat a full pack of microwave rice on top of the rest of my dinner.

GrumpyHoonMain · 06/02/2020 09:13

Probably missing the point but why are people paying for pre-cooked microwave rice when it takes 8-9 mins to cook real rice in the microwave? Some people are real mugs (in addition to cooking their rice in them)

PlanDeRaccordement · 06/02/2020 09:13

Why are posters criticising the food amounts that the DH ate in the thread? So what if he ate more than the recommended lady like portion size?
Do you control your family members food intake to such a degree and fat shame them if they eat more than 200g cooked rice and 2 chicken breasts?

Unless OPs husband is morbidly obese we shouldn’t be judging the amount of food he ate.

MimiLaRue · 06/02/2020 09:13

The people saying that the OP is BU should remember that not everyone has endless amounts of money available to allow greedy people to eat several meals as a snack.

Agree- their privilege is showing. Not everyone can afford to prepare large meals and then replace them when they've been wasted. Not only that- even putting cost aside, what about the wasted time and effort the OP spent in preparing it. Suggesting HE sort out dinner next time because he ate theirs is hardly a "lynching" FFS.
But of course, there's always one in these threads isnt there with the cry "who will think of the poor mens?"

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