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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

588 replies

GimmeTheSnacks · 05/02/2020 23:44

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

OP posts:
actiongirl1978 · 06/02/2020 07:37

We snack on roast chicken all the time. I have it for breakfast with a slice of cheese sometimes.

Nothing wrong with eating chicken as a snack at 10pm!

BottleOfJameson · 06/02/2020 07:38

YANBU four chicken breasts as a snack?! Why did he save some for DS and not for you?! I think if it was 10pm it was fairly obvious that food wasn't just there as a late night snack.

BigChocFrenzy · 06/02/2020 07:40

"Nothing wrong with eating chicken as a snack at 10pm!"

but plenty wrong when that "snack" was the intended meal for the other family members

BigChocFrenzy · 06/02/2020 07:41

4 chicken breasts in 1 "snack" or even 1 meal is really excessive and also expensive
Doesn't he eat much veg or carbs with it ?

RhymingRabbit3 · 06/02/2020 07:43

I am baffled by some of these responses.
Chicken is a weird thing to have for tea?
It's fine to each 4 chicken breasts if you're hungry?
OP should have made it clear that the 4 chicken breasts weren't supposed to be for one person?

Are people seriously saying they would be perfectly happy for their husband to eat dinner for 4 by himself?

Weenurse · 06/02/2020 07:43

What is he cooking for tomorrow?

OwlBeThere · 06/02/2020 07:46

@RhymingRabbit3 I’d be annoyed if money was tight. I’d be annoyed if it meant I’d have to cook again tomorrow. But I wouldn’t be calling my husband greedy if he came in and was just hungry and that’s what filled him up.

Highonpotandused · 06/02/2020 07:50

He is greedy for helping himself to a portion that was an ENTIRE family meal of 4 breasts.

damnthatanxiety · 06/02/2020 07:50

Greedy bastard!! How very fucking rude of him to only consider himself and the 5yo, and not you!!...I'd be SO angry. I wouldn't be fucking cooking anything for him for a week - let him buy fucking takeaway for himself!

Wow. Over reaction much? It's just a misunderstanding. Life is full of them. Getting this worked up about things like this is not healthy.

Inherdefence · 06/02/2020 07:50

It doesn’t sound that unusual to me and (unless he has a history of mindless gluttony) he wouldn’t have eaten it if he wasn’t hungry for it.

I’ve had several situations where I’ve made a massive chili/lasagne/curry one pot dish type meal expecting it to do for a family meal that day with at least half left to be frozen, only for the whole lot to disappear in one sitting. Irritating as it is I try to take it as a compliment to my cooking. It can also be harder to assess portion size when serving up that sort of meal.

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 07:55

willowmelangell same re the budget. It will be freezer surprise or pasta.

Bluerussian it wasn't roast chicken. It was curry. He ate a microwave packet of rice with it too.

Shev1996 I was upstairs with the baby so he came in, said hello and had a chat for 5 mins then went downstairs. It takes about 3 minutes to heat it in the microwave. I can't hear very well so didn't hear the microwave.

OP posts:
TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 06/02/2020 07:55

He is cooking today then

I hope

Hadtoask · 06/02/2020 07:56

My teen does this often and I get so angry. Or he reheats a huge batch cook and then takes some and puts the rest back hot in fridge. So I’ve had to throw out hours worth of cooking and lots of money. Like ten meals worth. He gets in late and takes everything he sees.

Oulu · 06/02/2020 07:58

why are you begrudging someone hungry eating

Because he'd already had tea so can't have been that hungry? Because he ate a meal intended for four people? How hard can it be to work that out?

LettertoHermoine · 06/02/2020 08:00

Maybe he was hungry coming in at 10pm and saw it on the side and thought...Yum! I 'll have some of that! I know my hubby would do the same thought he probably would ask. Maybe he thought you had eaten already since it was 10pm?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 06/02/2020 08:00

It is greedy, unthinking, selfish etc.

He is one person in a family of five! He wasn't there when it was cooked so didn't know why it had been made and still didn't even ask, just ate it! And to say he had save a little bit for one other person shows he did think before he ate it!

I couldn't get excited about it if he had come in late, said he was hungry and then proceeded to wolf it. It's the not thinking about how it magically appeared, what it was intended for. The assumption that as it was in his kitchen it was his!

OP - do tell him that he has to make arrangements to provide tea for his family this evening, no matter the hours he is working, how difficult it will be for him to do. And remind him that he is part of a family, not a single man with a magic food fairy on tap!

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:00

Stabbitha1 he'd already eaten. He ate it because it was there. I didn't call him a pig? You may eat a whole family meal without considering the rest of your family but I wouldn't. We don't have the money for that.

For people asking we have to budget our meals.

I work too and have never come home so hungry I've eaten my whole families meal. Has anyone else? Is it acceptable because he's a man?

Sharonthetotallyinsane it needed cooking as it was going out of date.

He doesn't cook as he's shit at it so he does the washing up and I cook.

OP posts:
Jammydodger1981 · 06/02/2020 08:00

I agree @GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal, it’s bloody ridiculous.

‘I presume nothing was put out for tea for him after a days work’. Fuck me. Did you notice that the OP works as well as looking after young children including a 4 month old @kateandme? You must have doormat stamped on your head!

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:03

To be clear, it was a curry using 4 chicken breasts and vegetables etc. I would have made normal basmati rice this evening but he put a pack of microwave rice meant for 2 people in and ate it all.

OP posts:
Nousernameforme · 06/02/2020 08:04

Ffs its not the ops fault she didn't hear him or didn't tell him. It's his fault he didn't say whats this for before he piled on in.
If he has his dinner before he comes home then why on earth did he eat enough for 4 as an evening snack

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:06

Also I work and don't come home to a hot meal on the table the moment I walk in.

There must be some seriously privileged people here if you don't have to stick to a food budget.

It is not hard to "assess portion size" when it's clear it's a whole massive curry.

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 06/02/2020 08:08

Some of the responses making excuses for this selfish man are really weird. Surely a decent person would ask if the chicken is for eating now or a meal later.

PersephoneandHades · 06/02/2020 08:10

YANBU OP, ignore the people on here saying otherwise, wonderful for them if they don't have to think about food money and don't mind their husbands being careless and selfish!

It's not the 50s anymore, OP works and does all the cooking her, DH is not entitled to wolf down any food she's spent time cooking for the family just because he's also been at work that day

DobbinOnTheLA · 06/02/2020 08:12

I don't think you have to be on a food budget to be annoyed about it. It's pure greed and selfishness to eat that much.

But going on some responses, maybe you should fix him a martini and show him a bit of leg whilst he attempts to satisfy his hunger.

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 06/02/2020 08:13

But going on some responses, maybe you should fix him a martini and show him a bit of leg whilst he attempts to satisfy his hunger. Grin

OP posts:
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