Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

Lots of people can’t afford to learn.

Because I’m a danger on the roads, mainly 🤷‍♀️

I have a small breastfeeding baby, sleep deprivation and a husband who works long hours.

We used to live quite centrally so I never needed to learn before. Now we live in a more suburban area and I do need to learn but I don't have the time or energy at the moment.

Can't afford to learn ? Learner insurance through existing insurer for my 17 year old was an extra £20 a month for 4 months until she passed with me teaching her.

Surely buses and taxis for a lifetime is a bit more than that ?

I drive and my DH doesn’t. We can’t afford it really. He never learned as a teenager, and now as adults the mortgage is more important than driving lessons. I know it doesn’t have to be expensive to learn, but insuring a new driver on my car would be a lot too. He walks to work and catches the train when he goes out with his friends. I drive everywhere else, and most of the time this works for us.

We can't afford lessons and I only have meaningful vision in one eye.

Having the use of only one eye is actually a pretty big deal, because I have zero depth perception. I regularly walk into doorframes (get caught on my left side), can't catch and critically, cannot judge breaking distance or accurately gauge the position of the car on the road. So even if /when dp gets driving lessons, he will be the only driver. I have had lessons and I'm just not safe.

Where I live public transport is good, both ds's school and my work are walking distance, dp catches the bus to work so it's not the end of the world.

Yes having a car would be nice but it's just not doable atm

Epilepsy, any seizure disorder, strokes, faints

Or vision problems - there's a whole host of reasons people cant drive

... and yes, if you live centrally and NEVER use a car I get that.. but IF you have a car in the household and use it, surely as another grown adult human you could learn to utilise it and share the load ?

If you live in a big city, you really don’t need to drive. London for example.

Spent thousands trying to learn. My dyspraxia, my hatred of roundabouts and my general scaredycat-ness made me realise it wasn't for me.

.. and yes, if you live centrally and NEVER use a car I get that.. but IF you have a car in the household and use it, surely as another grown adult human you could learn to utilise it and share the load ?

Not safely. No.

I’m epileptic. And whilst I was given my provisional some time ago- I later went on to have a seizure which landed me in hospital fortunately I wasn’t driving and no one else was harmed, for that reason I would never want to try to drive even if I had been seizure free for the period of time required.

For me i couldn’t live with myself if I hurt or killed someone.

I’d hate to be the only person in the house who drove. Obviously I know that many people have good reasons not to but if it was just that my OH couldn’t be arsed I’d be hacked off.

It takes a lot of time and money to learn to drive, a lot of people can’t afford either.

As I said ... IF there are reasons that the DVLA would not allow you to drive. !

My aunt has one eye having lost the other to cancer. Still allowed to drive . .. uncle with peripheral vision in one eye . Still allowed to drive if he wears an eye patch over one eye . Had to retake his test but passed.

I have a small breastfeeding baby, sleep deprivation and a husband who works long hours.

But that's not been the case since you were 17?

I get that it's expensive but DS wanted to learn so he got a casual job doing life guarding at the local pool and that paid for him to learn to drive and buy a car.

As both my husband and I drive, I have nothing to add except

AND you have at least one functioning eye

My husband has a false eye and still drives all over the country for work and football
It's definitely doable with only one functioning eye too.

I have Ménières Disease, it's an automatic hand your licence illness.

Most people aren’t taught by their loved ones. There’s a very good reason for that.

Because I’ve been learning for 3 years, I’ve spent thousand and failed numerous tests most of which I’ve been unable to even finish.
I want to drive and to easyJet I have tried so hard by I’m a nervous wreck, even after 3 years of lessons I would finish each one either on the verge of tears or with adrenaline through the roof. My mind blanks out and I can remember basic things like how to bay park or where I should be on a roundabout. I don’t actually think I would be safe on the road.

If my husband were to learn he would need an adapted car and specialist lessons which are really expensive although we’ve accepted he might just have to do it.
Luckily we live in London and have excellent public transport, I would die before I asked anyone for a lift anywhere. We’ve managed so far, it’s not ideal and I wished I had tried to learn in my teens but it is what it is.

I've spent well over two grand trying to learn to drive. I'm an ok driver, but not good at taking the test. I need to try again but with two small children and an hour commute each way to work I really don't have the time or mental energy to do so.

It always amazes me on these threads how blinkered some people can be to other people's way of living. Until our recent move out of central London, not being able to drive has made literally zero impact on my life. I am certain that had I started learning in my teens rather than my mid thirties I would have passed my test by now. Still, as the mistakes of youth go, it could be worse.

I stupidly gave up after 10 lessons when I was 17 as I just hated it. I regret it so so much now and wish more than anything I'd carried on as I'm now 30 with a baby and still can't drive and can't afford to learn or run a car at the moment. If I'd just stuck with it all those years ago it wouldn't be any problem now.

DH has a car which he uses pretty much only to get to work and back, as he starts work some days at 4am. I work office hours and we live 5 minutes walk from a bus stop that has a bus every 8 minutes. DS walks to school and back. Shopping is delivered by Tesco. Trips and outings are usually done on the train or bus. The car did less than 600 miles last year.

The tests will cost £80 assuming you pass first time.

Insurance for a new driver is usually pretty expensive.