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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why don't you drive. ?

921 replies

Fivetillmidnight · 05/02/2020 20:37

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

OP posts:
PanicAndRun · 09/02/2020 10:18

@Gin96 you built your life around having a car, people who don't drive built their life around not having one.

Neither option is better or more (fulfilling,independent,free).

Your hobbies,activities,locations etc are what you wanted and you need a car for them. None of those are mandatory,of interest or essential for everyone.

ginghamstarfish · 09/02/2020 10:22

Why would it bother anyone else? Unless of course the non-driver in question is a notorious CF and always expecting others to drive them places. Lots of people who live in areas with adequate public transport don't really NEED to drive. I wish I had access to any form of public transport!

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 10:22

@millerjane me to, I want my daughter to be able to drive. I want her to be able to chuck all her belongings in her car and drive home if she ever needed to.

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 10:26

What about a lady who has split up with her husband but can’t move to a cheaper area because of transport links, she then has to folk out more money for housing costs.

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 10:27

I’m not bothered if you drive or not that’s up to you, i’m just glad I have the choice to drive.

JacquesHammer · 09/02/2020 10:34

What about a lady who has split up with her husband but can’t move to a cheaper area because of transport links, she then has to folk out more money for housing costs

What if you have a change in circumstances and cars are no longer economically viable for you.

You see? It works both ways.

I can’t imagine being in such an insular little bubble that I am absolutely convinced my way is Right and Better. Imagination is a wonderful thing!

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 10:35

Yes I maybe in that position but because I can drive I can always buy a car at another time.

cologne4711 · 09/02/2020 10:40

You rely on driving. If you ever can't, your life is going to be limited, and I have seen it happen to a lot of elderly people in the countryside. If I never set foot in a vehicle again I could still do tons of stuff because of my choice to live where I do

Yes it's not sensible for elderly people to live in the countryside - for plenty of reasons but lack of public transport is a key one. My dad lived in a Dorset town in his final years which doesn't have a railway station. He lived close to town but was still a bit stuck when he gave up driving (at 90) and had to rely on lifts from younger friends to the supermarket. Although before that he lived in a fairly isolated village in Lancashire which was worse. It had good road links to the M6 and M61 but that's not much good if you can't or don't drive.

Borisdaspide · 09/02/2020 10:40

And if you stop being able to drive, what then? As i said upthread it happens to a lot of older people and quite often sneaks up on them.

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 10:44

Yes then I will be limited in options and will have to make choices then but at least I haven’t been limited in those choices all my life.

JacquesHammer · 09/02/2020 10:46

but at least I haven’t been limited in those choices all my life

Yet reading comprehension has obviously taken a battering throughout that period.

Borisdaspide · 09/02/2020 11:00

Its not limiting if you are restricted to things you want to do rather than things you dont!

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 11:02

Yes when you starting picking on my grammar I know I have hit a nerve

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 11:15

When you make it personal and not about the topic, you’re deviating from the subject.

ChocolateCranberries · 09/02/2020 11:18

I'm not limited in my life, I do all the hobbies some that I've done since I was a child, live where I want (in the countryside). Depends on the life you want to lead, if I wanted to do horse shows or whatever obviously it would, but I'd lead the same life whether I could drive a car or fly a plane Grin

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 11:23

How do you know when that option isn’t open to you? I have been a non driver and I thought I didn’t need to drive, until you do then you realise so many other options open up for you.

ChocolateCranberries · 09/02/2020 11:26

Because I know what I like and what I'm happy doing!

MarthasGinYard · 09/02/2020 11:27

Gin honestly I'd give up

I get where you are coming from

But it seems to evoke an unexplainable defensiveness on MN.

I also live semi rurally and couldn't even imagine not driving.

SIL lives in London and can drive but hasn't for 20 years. A car to her would be a massive inconvenience and I totally get that too.

Gin96 · 09/02/2020 11:30

@MarthasGinYard I agree with you it does evoke an unexplained defensiveness, I will leave it now, I have made my point 😊

BertieBotts · 09/02/2020 11:35

People rely on others to do things for them all the time. I have paid people to cut my hair, fix my oven, open the door when I locked myself out, etc etc. Sure it would be more convenient if I could do those things myself but it's also perfectly normal to rely on others for skills you don't personally have. Nobody can do everything.

PanicAndRun · 09/02/2020 11:36

But it seems to evoke an unexplainable defensiveness on MN.

Unexplainable?

Posters that don't drive have been told over and over again that their lives are lacking, that they have no freedom,no independence, that they should do something they don't want to do or can't do, that they should overcome any anxieties ,worried,financial issues or disabilities for the sake of owning a driving licence and that their choices and lifestyles are less because of the lack of one.

All started by a goady OP who has a dick for a neighbour.

Not exactly unexplainable is it?

tinseltitsandlittlegits · 09/02/2020 11:38

Because I don't want to!
I can't understand why it bothers you op whether I walk drive or catch a bus/taxi

SerenDippitty · 09/02/2020 11:45

My mum was a reluctant and nervous driver herself. I wasn’t allowed to turn right until I’d passed my test.

Borisdaspide · 09/02/2020 12:03

Exactly @PanicAndRun along with the patronising assumptions that we just havent realised all the (horse) things we could do if we could drive.

Sonichu · 09/02/2020 17:19

Non drivers on MN are lazy, stupid, ALWAYS demanding lifts off the poor put upon drivers and aren't functioning adults but yeh totally unexplained defensiveness. 🙄

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