Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

And being patronisingly told we owed it to others to learn to drive.

No, mate. You owe it to my son and all the many people with air-pollution triggered asthma to reduce your car usage.

It's just cost us nearly a grand to get my eldest driving and that's an amount a lot of people can't afford. Not to mention the cost of car insurance once passed, the running costs etc Some people don't actually want to drive/are afraid to drive. Others just can't do it. That's what buses and taxis are for.

That's what public transport and taxis are for. We have the freedom of choice, it's not a legal requirement to have to drive, it doesn't make you lazy or any less independent.
Of course if you live in a rural area with little or no public transport, you have less choice. But if someone does not want to drive, that's absolutely fine.

21:26Fivetillmidnight

Ok I give up. Just saddened that we still seem to be in the 1950s with the little woman sitting next to the driving man.
Most of whom seem to have overcome anxiety, spatial awareness, finances and desire to transport themselves.

We have 11 cars, I'm a really good driver ( I have to be) excellent spatial awareness, pretty decent finances but when we go out I chuck the keys at DH. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also my Dad didn't learn to drive until his mid 30s, my Mum in her early 20s, so until I was around 10 it was my Mum who did all the driving.

'As I said ... IF there are reasons that the DVLA would not allow you to drive. !

My aunt has one eye having lost the other to cancer. Still allowed to drive . .. uncle with peripheral vision in one eye . Still allowed to drive if he wears an eye patch over one eye . Had to retake his test but passed.'

Some people with one eye have more problems with perception than others, perhaps due to whether functioning in the remaining eye is perfect.

In any case, the DVLA certainly allows some people to drive, who are not in fact very safe drivers (not referring to your uncle and aunt, but to people whom I've encountered). Sometimes because they weren't reported; sometimes because they can drive safely but are risk-takers; ... and some because they do have specific disabilities that affect their driving, but are not specifically listed in the DVLA guidance.

PS: it isn't necessarily a matter of the Little Woman and the Driving Man. I know a number of men who don't drive, and women who are very good at it. What probably is true is that there are more men than women, who would be better advised not to drive but do anyway.

There's already enough cunts on the road who can't drive. I don't want to add to the numbers

There's already enough cunts on the road who can't drive.

No lies detected in that statement. I see enough of them as a pedestrian. Rather not have to deal with them as a driver.

My dad taught me to drive & I plan to teach the DC as soon as they are old enough.

Where I'm from this is how people learn to drive.

Why isn't this more common in uk? Most people seems to pay for lessons?

I find it strange that town and city dwellers take public transport for granted

I find it strange that it's the non-drivers on this thread that are perfectly happy to accept that of course if you live in a rural location you might have to drive, while it's the drivers who keep insisting that everybody needs to drive and it's selfish and limiting not to do so, regardless of circumstances.

Why isn't this more common in uk?

Because most people are incapable of teaching someone to drive, especially in a car without dual controls. I’m delighted people here don’t do it.

*My dad taught me to drive & I plan to teach the DC as soon as they are old enough.

Where I'm from this is how people learn to drive.

Why isn't this more common in uk? Most people seems to pay for lessons?*

I learned how in driver’s ed in high school in the States and my parents took me out during that time. I needed so many hours on top of the class which involved studying the laws and rules and simulators so I could pass the class and have my permit issued to me. I’ll admit I preferred the class over driving with my parents because they would contradict what I learned or did things that I learned was illegal.

Parents can easily pass on their habits (good and bad) which could put their children and others at risk.

Lot of judgment here!

I can drive but haven't for a few years now because I'm on so many drugs for chronic illness, most of the time I am shaky, woozy, my concentration is poor and my fatigue levels are through the floor. I simply wouldn't be safe. I feel for dh having to do all the driving but he never complains and is just sympathetic to my issues.

DD is 19 and wants to learn but is unsure because she is dyspraxic and her depth perception/spatial awareness are rubbish - she regularly walks into things. But she knows some people with dyspraxia manage it, especially in an automatic, so wants to at least give it a go this summer. Really hope she's able to but it's not always possible.

I am the first to freely admit that I sometimes struggle to comprehend as to why someone would not learn to drive except in the cases of medical reasons or living in a city with a good public transport system eg London.
It took me four years, on & off to pass my test at 20 & I was diagnosed with dyspraxia at 34. Checked with DVLA, does not need to be declared but I have a diagnosis of mild as opposed to those who are more severely affected so I understand that in those cases it may be very difficult to learn, if not impossible. My sister is almost certainly an undiagnosed dyspraxia & passed her test 5 years ago as she has epilepsy & preferred to leave it until she had not had any seizures for a few years & was on the correct meds for her.
We were both brought up in a family where only my mum drives, my father had lessons in his 20's but from what I can gather had an instructor who was very critical & destroyed his confidence behind the wheel. He has had offers over the years from friends & family to teach him to drive but has never bothered. He used to like a good booze up at family events etc so I suspect he was more than happy for my mother to be the driver. Both my parents are now in their late 60's & DM needs to have a hip replacement in the next few months meaning that she will need to be ferried about by myself & Dsis. We both work (her p/t & myself f/t) & are going to have to find a way to navigate this but when I have warned my parents this could be a possibility in the future it has led to arguments. As a result I will never date a man that does not drive & if I'm being completely honest I would struggle with the idea of sharing a car as I've always had my own.
I have several friends who are not drivers, all in relationships with men who ferry them about other than back & forth to work. All these women have the capability & money to learn to drive & in the case of one in particular she would make life a lot easier for herself after the initial costs, as she has only the one parent who she cleans for & takes food shopping by taxi.
All my 3 friends, who do not drive are very dear to me & longstanding friends but with all the best will in the world I will never understand as to why they don't want their independence & are happy to rely on public transport or their partners. All were brought up in households where their DF but not DM (all in our 40's) drove so maybe a case of slightly old fashioned roles in play?

@corythatwas

Not just London. Northern Rail have just been taken back into public ownership because they are rubbish. They didn't run any trains on a Sunday for 18 months. This is in Manchester. Public transport outside of London desperately needs investment.

The UK driving test is a lot harder to pass than the test in most of the States from what I've heard! So while many teenagers do go out driving with a parent, most have at least a few lessons as well to get ready for the test as most parents won't be driving to test standard, having passed their own 30+ years before.

The UK driving test is a lot harder to pass than the test in most of the States from what I've heard!

In the UK most people take a manual test. In the states more sit their test in automatic cars. A manual car is obviously harder to teach, to learn and to pass in.

I guess with the increase in electric cars growing we will eventually have far fewer manuals around and everyone will be just taking automatic'sc tests instead.

There's a lot more differences than just an automatic vs a manual test from what I have heard - obviously different states have different exams, though.

Lessons are SUPER expensive nowadays! And then the driving tests themselves are expensive too.

TheClitterati I had a few lessons with my dad, never again. It was worth learning with a qualified instructor as my dad just isn't capable of teaching properly despite being a good driver.