Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

So your 17 year old never had lessons? You just taught him?

That's fine if you have someone to teach you, but most men drive with bad habits that if you pick up, you won't pass your test.

My DD (with LDs/Autism) has failed her theory five times. You including 'severely categorised' means nothing and is quite insulting.

She buys her lessons in blocks, but still pays £26 a lesson. Her insurance will be £4k.

I was a terrible driver, I didn't enjoy it, so didn't persue it. I also like a drink so wouldn't drive for meet ups etc anyway.

I pay £16 a week for my bus pass and I'm quite happy with that. I don't ask for lifts and I wouldn't drive to other cities, because, as said, if I'm going to the theatre etc I like a drink.

I now have nerve damage in my hands so couldn't drive. It's lucky that I'm happy to use public transport. I know so many drivers who panic if they can't drive.

I passed my test, hated driving, stressed me out. I then got the flu and it damaged my ear which causes me to feel dizzy in a moving car. Not enough to have my licence removed but enough for me not to feel safe. Would you rather I take the risk and continue?

My anxiety is stemmed from cars. I did try to learn.. but I was a dangerous driver so stopped learning. But I use public transport which is so much cheaper for me.

I have extreme anxiety and im not safe behind a wheel.
Its caused by the fact i was almost killed by a truck while we were pulled over as a 16 yr old. I get violent flashbacks sitting in a driver side of car, front or back and have no control over my reaction. I still seize up when we pass a truck as a passenger

We live rural too but DP is happier to do all the driving if it means we all stay alive.

I am a single parent. Earn £2000. Pay rent of £995. Before bills. Prioritised my last child learning to drive because it's an invaluable life skill and also gives her greater employment options.

Taught her myself (as could any DP/DH ) plus theory and test . £80 total Insurance whilst learning plus £23 theory and £62 test. All in £165.

barneyblues, a lot of teens try take jobs because they need the money to live.

I started to learn to drive when I was 19 and my instructor was awful and it put me off, I then couldn't afford it (I have no parents who could teach me) my husband only learnt to drive 4 years ago and still isn't the most confident driver, I want to learn to drive but really can't afford to (work part time for minimum wage due to having young children)

Can’t you see that you’re in a pretty unusual position? Most people aren’t able to be taught by their parents/partners etc.

Unless you have a dual control car, I really dont think its safe to be teaching someone with literally no experience of driving.

Taught her myself (as could any DP/DH)

That’s just not true.

I can drive but lessons in my area are £30 per hour on average. It’s understandable that isn’t accessible to everyone.

Most people aren’t able to be taught by their parents/partners etc

Yep, i wasnt even living with my father at 16 and he never would have taught me anyway, we normally had no car as he would rather spend money on pokies and booze.
My partner has PTSD and a short fuse, he isnt a teacher kind, we both know it wouldnt work him trying to teach me

Live centrally, never use a car.

£165 sounds great to learn, but how much is it costing for the car and insurance afterwards? That’s the bit that makes it unaffordable for a lot of people. Even if there’s already a “family car” insurance is high for new drivers.

I am a single parent. Earn nothing like £2000. Prioritised keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table. Judge people much?

I spent £££££ learning to drive and on tests. So no it’s not as easy as £20 for four months.

I am asking because it seems like so many women on here seem reluctant to learn.. when their male partners have managed it.
A penis is not required to change gear, operate an accelerator, clutch or brake. !
Yes I get it if you have a DVLA condition prohibiting it.

Yes I get it if you don't have a car in the family

But if none of the above apply and your PARTNER drives,...

I don’t have the money, and I also don’t have good enough spatial awareness.

I am asking because it seems like so many women on here seem reluctant to learn.. when their male partners have managed it.

I’m a woman and I’m a very competent, confident driver. Not having a penis didn’t hinder me. I would not be teaching anyone to drive from scratch.

Special awareness is learned . Through learning to drive. Few people have before learning

My mum is married to an abusive A-hole who always shouted at her anytime she drove.

So she's been too nervous to ever try again.

Plus lives within London travel zones so is a happy pedestrian/public transport user.

Just because YOU like driving why on Earth assume everyone else must do it?

Mind your own business.

'Taught her myself (as could any DP/DH )'

No they can't, not everyone is a good enough driver to teach someone else, or patient enough.

Your costs are what it's cost you, but that won't be the same for other people. My DD has spent £165 just trying to pass her theory.

She's had to spend £1200 on lessons and as said her insurance will be £4k.

So learning to drive/putting a car on the road will have cost her around £8k. That's a house deposit were I live.

Your disposable income is still more than a lot of people's and the cost of putting an unlicensed driver on the insurance varies depending on where you live etc.

But if none of the above apply and your PARTNER drives,...

Or people are you know, smart and think of others safety on the road. Would you want to share the road with someone who freaks out at the tiniest thing?
Someone that has flashbacks and no control over her body or reactions?
I could spend thousands in lessons only to still fail cos that wont go away

My boyfriend is learning to drive, it costs him £52 for every 50 minute lesson. How do you expect those on low incomes to find the spare money every week?

As I said in the beginning... if you have NO NEED ... because you live in a place with excellent public transport, and never need your partner to take you/the kids anywhere by car then it's not an issue.

This thread is about those (mostly women) who need to rely on a driving partner and already have a car in the family .