Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

@DulciUke ...but they don’t live in the US so I don’t understand your point? If people live in an area where they can get public transport/taxes/walk and that works for them, why does it matter that other places where you can’t do that exist?

It’d be like if I said I never learnt to ski, and someone would say I’m lucky I don’t live in the alps. But I don’t live in the alps, so there’s nothing to worry about!

I don't drive I judge myself very harshly for that. Thanks for adding your judgement to my self criticism.

@Fivetillmidnight
Well done you only spending £165 to get your DD through her test, most people pay £25/30 per lesson for an average of 26-30 lessons, it’s very unusual for a family member to get a driver test ready with no formal lessons, you’re coming across as arrogant and out of touch.

Sparklesocks You are absolutely right, the situations are different. I guess that it is such a different mindset, it stands out to me.

be glad that you are in the UK

Im rural Aus and dont drive, there is zero public transport in my town.
Its doable, just takes planning

Yes.yab(fucking)U. Why is it your business to ask why anyone does anything. yanbu if thisis a constant issue you have in your life and are struggling to live with.Otherwise..why would anyone as much as grace you with any sorta justification? Just beacause you are capable of doing something-doesnt mean you have to.

What business is it of yours? People might have confidence to drive or they just might not want too. Yes I do drive.

I passed my test first time at 40, and had a car..
but after 3 years i still felt anxious driving, i think it was because i was in a horrific crash at a young age, but also never felt totally in control of the vehicle on bends etc.. so i sold the car and havent driven since.

live rurally and its a pain, but boy, i observe an increase in dangerous driving on a daily basis, and i mean really serious risks... so id much rather be on a big bus!

"AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?"

If you want to pay for my lessons, car and insurance then I'll learn. If not then mind your own business.

I agree OP, illnesses and disabilities aside, there's no way I could be with a man who couldn't drive.

What’s to say learning to drive would dramatically change things. The family may only be able to afford one car and I guess that would mean prioritising who drove it. The family member who managed perfectly well on public transport previously would not be the priority. Or do you have a magic solution for that?

Learner insurance through existing insurer for my 17 year old was an extra £20 a month for 4 months until she passed with me teaching her.
Can't get over how cheap that is, it was £1,200 for DD's first year of learner insurance.

All you women who choose not to drive, what would you do if your husband left and suddenly you can't get your children to activities they like because you can't drive ? How would you deal with your choice of jobs being limited ?

I have very personal reasons for never learning to drive. I find the OP very judgemental. No one knows other people's reasons for not driving and no one should feel they have to justify why they don't drive.

I don't drive I judge myself very harshly for that

Dont
You obviously know your limits and put value in the safety of others. That is a good thing

Many more people should do it as they aint fit to drive but have the OP mentality of driving is a right or a must do when its really not.

"All you women who choose not to drive, what would you do if your husband left and suddenly you can't get your children to activities they like because you can't drive ? How would you deal with your choice of jobs being limited ?"

Why do you assume that "all you women who chose not to drive" are married? I live alone and can't drive; funnily enough I've managed to survive thus far.

Spent an absolute fortune on lessons, taken numerous tests and keep failing. The thought of trying again makes me feel genuinely anxious.

He still has no need to drive, despite us now living in a small town, as he commutes via train and his hobbies/interests are walkable. However it does mean that if we need to pick up a big item from a shop, visit family or go on day trips, I'm driving

Each to their own but that would really annoy me that he could drive but didn’t even take a shot on longer trips. I suppose if you don’t mind driving it might not bother you, I wouldn’t like to do all the driving on a long trip.

Im not the little woman im the one who drives dh said in his own words hed rather go down the pub and have a few pints thanks-you cant force someone to do it

and no he doesnt ask me for lifts he makes his own way

All you women who choose not to drive, what would you do if your husband left and suddenly you can't get your children to activities they like because you can't drive ?
I take the children to all their activities on foot, DH works away.
How would you deal with your choice of jobs being limited ?
My choice of jobs is limited now because I can't drive, so zero change.

I’ve a few friends who can’t be bothered to learn and let their husbands/friends drive them around. I couldn’t live without the independence driving gives you.

I’m dyspraxic, I’ve had years of lessons but I couldn’t do it. DH doesn’t drive either. We manage! And don’t ask for lifts.

What a horrible goady thread!

Do you want a fucking medal op🙄

@barneyblues I have been single since DS was 10 months, don't drive and have managed perfectly fine.

All you women who choose not to drive, what would you do if your husband left and suddenly you can't get your children to activities they like because you can't drive ? How would you deal with your choice of jobs being limited

Nope, i didnt drive before i met dp and wouldnt if we broke up.
It would cos me 200 a term to get her to school on the paid school bus that comes to our town. She currently on free one but bus stops outside town so dp drops her off.
Id shop more online
I just suck it up, i wouldnt be able to learn fast enough for any employer. Would take me years just to be able to sit in the driver side of the car when its not even running. My job search provider hates i cant drive but what can they do? You can get blood from a stone or make issues just disappear cos there a job available town over