Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

I was the only driver in the family for years and it was a pain in the arse.
Husband never learnt to drive when living in London and then when we married and had a young family we couldn’t really afford to spend out for lessons and by the time we could he had no interest or confidence to learn.
My oldest will never be able to drive due to medically being unfit to hold a licence. My younger passed his test on the first attempt just a week ago. He is 21 and his insurance for a 900cc Nissan is £850 pa. The car is my old one that I have passed on to him. Two lots of 10 x block bookings with an instructor cost a little under £600 and then the cost of the tests and using his instructors car to take the test would have added around another £200. Quite a lot when all added up but it is worth it.

I used to drive, had my own car, but completely lost my nerve when I was 35; even the thought of driving terrifies me. However I managed without and, yes, husband drove when we went anywhere far. I was a frightened passenger too, even on motorways.

It doesn't bother me now.

It just depends how much you really want to shoulder the burden and be an equal participant in transportation

I don't get why you as a couple would end up living in a setup that requires you to go everywhere by car if one of you doesn't drive and never has, honestly.

I can't drive (medical stuff) and my husband can, and when we were looking to move out of the city years ago it was amazing how many friends/family/colleagues suggested we move to some village or town with really shit transport links, because "but DH can drive!" Well yes but then I'd be reliant on him for going anywhere! Much better to choose to live somewhere that we can get by fine without driving, even if it limited our location options.

Epilepsy for me too,

BUT

I live 15 min walk from work and the nearest bus stop is about 3 mins away if I want to go into town and the return journey costs less than parking a car would.

My DH enjoys driving and doesn’t see it as a burden that he is the only driver.

Even if I could learn to drive I would probably prefer not to.

I had about eleventy-billion lessons, but was such an anxious driver it was making me ill, and I stopped. We live centrally, I walk to and from work, and if I needed to get a bus I could walk to the main city high street in ten minutes.

DP has never even had a lesson, he was brought up in the city centre, went away to uni, then travelling, and just didn’t get round to it.

The only time I ever wish we had a car is for the supermarket for heavy stuff between online deliveries.

Ok I give up. Just saddened that we still seem to be in the 1950s with the little woman sitting next to the driving man.
Most of whom seem to have overcome anxiety, spatial awareness, finances and desire to transport themselves.

Yes, I'm sure there are plenty of men who deal with conditions that make them borderline-unsafe to drive and think "fuck it" and drive anyway. Possibly the roads would be safer for the rest of us if they didn't, though?

Because at £25+ per lesson, £23 theory test, £62 driving test (with £25 for renting instructors car) it’s expensive !! I have had to do 4 theory tests and 6 driving tests (I can drive, I just was not where near ready and forced to do tests) and it’s not cheap!

OP I’m not sure being female has anything to do with the above replies.

I never learned to drive because I don't want to and I don't need to. I am a single parent so don't have anyone to drive me round either. It's public transport or my own 2 feet. I purposely chose to live somewhere with good public transport.

The more people that using public transport the better. Whats the point of going plastic free and eating vegan food twice a week if you own a car, or fly?

Where I'm from lots of people didn't start learning at 17-18 because my town was so small that you could walk or cycle absolutely everywhere. I wasn't interested in driving, and then I moved to the UK and to a fairly big city with decent transport links, so again I didn't feel the need to learn. It's only in the last couple of years that I have started thinking about driving as we moved to a village away from the city, and my commute by bus isn't brilliant. We also had a child and my life would be somewhat easier if I could drive him around. The reasons I haven't got round to it yet are 1. I'm scared (another anxiety diagnosis over here - currently off work with it), 2. money, and 3. time. Lessons, test, insurance and a second car would cost quite a lot, and at the moment I can't seem to find any time to do anything, so adding regular lessons to my schedule would be challenging.

I think I will do it in the next couple of years but just need to get my arse in gear. I want to move to the sticks and can't really do it without being able to drive. (It just seems like such a hassle. )

yes well, to be fair, its nowt to do with you really and has nothing to do with 1950s. if dh doesnt want to drive to heathrow, we'll book a return taxi. i dont feel like a little woman. so there - nah nah

Dominant optic atrophy. I hate posts like yours OP. Did you miss out on the empathy gene?

I missed the bit where you said if you have a car in the family, sorry. Still stands though.

Psychiatric condition

I’m fairly sure my boyfriend doesn’t feel like a ‘little 1950’s woman’ because he can’t drive.

Ok I give up. Just saddened that we still seem to be in the 1950s with the little woman sitting next to the driving man.

Quite a leap you’ve made there. You’d be a fab Olympic long jumper.

I think more of us should use public transport. I have never driven, nor has my DH. Why should we? I don't like cars. I walk, commute to work on train and cycle. Society is far too fixated on everyone driving everywhere.

I tend to think learning to drive and/or having your own car will be one of those things that future generations will look back on us and think how ridiculous we were.

I find it weird TBH

Don't know many women that don't drive though.

I don’t drive, DP can and he has a car. He drives the car maybe once every month to 6 weeks. I’ve been in the car with him twice in the last year, both times to attend family events with his family. I go everywhere by public transport and he uses public transport for any journey that he feasibly can too. When it’s time to get rid of his current car he’s not going to replace it as there are now zip cars locally and it’s absurdly expensive to have a car that gets used so infrequently.

I completely sympathise with you point you are trying to make. I think basically it comes down to they don't know any different or how life changing it is, coupled with anxiety/fear of the roads (totally get that, absolutely something I have slowly slowly begun to get over, over the years) and financial implications of learning being so expensive. I'm baffled at your £20 a month Insurance quote - how??

I think this thread should be titled “why doesn’t everyone think the same way as me”. OP you think driving is important, some other people don’t.

We only have a car so dh can get to work- they'd be a bit surprised if I turned up instead. (my job easily accessible by public transport)

We don't use it very much for other purposes, so even if I didn't have trouble with my eyesight I think we'd want to keep temptation to drive to a minimum: we've both been concerned about the effect of emissions for a long time.