To rehome him?

[gallgal]

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

He doesn't sound like he will be rehomed, so I think you are really talking about having your cat put down. I don't think I could do that to my pet. Does a vet have any advice?

He's 13. You've had him almost three times as long as you've had your children. Haven't you formed any kind of emotional connection?

He's unlucky to have spent his whole life with somebody who didn't really care for him, but even though you don't appear to care you do have a responsibility. Don't have him killed because he's pissing on your laundry. Try to look after him, unless you can find somebody who would give him a kind and caring home.

I don't think it's fair to say that I don't care for him. I haven't indicated that in my previous post. I wouldn't be sat here typing this out in tears unless I was pretty desperate.

These are the things we have tried:

Feliway (we've had that in situ upstairs and downstairs for two months)
Changing litter (we thought he might not like the wood litter we were using so tried crystals, then Catsan)
Buying him a comfy bed, putting it in his favourite place by the radiator to sleep
Keeping everything related to him (his bowls/litter tray etc) very clean
Taking him to the vet regularly for checkups

It's not fair on me to say that we haven't given this absolutely everything we can. We have.

Honestly OP I would. I say that knowing that the likelihood is he would be put down. If he has dementia or some other condition that is making him spray his own home he is likely unhappy anyway. It's unsanitary when you have young children.

He won't be able to find a new home with these issues. You've had him for 13 years and don't love him enough to put up with it so why would anyone else want to?

I can't put up with him urinating all over my children's beds/floors, no. Sorry if that makes me a bad person. I'm on my third load of laundry with Dettol today. I have a disabled child. If you think I'm uncaring then you have me very wrong.

The only other thing I can think of is (I'm sure I will be flamed for the suggestion.... can you make him an "outdoor" cat. Have a small shed outdoors with warm bedding & blankets etc, scratching post & a cat flap so he has comfort & shelter, continue putting food out there for him & getting him treatment at the vets, pet him outdoors when ever you can, but do not allow him into the house.

Is he neutered? Does he go outside?

Would you rehome your children?! This cat will be put down, not rehomed. So you're basically asking if it's ok to kill him or not.

Can you restrict his access to areas unless hes supervised?

Wow people are harsh and lacking in any alternative suggestions!

Could you make more effort to shut doors and confine the cat to downstairs/kitchen?

Do you know any family or friends who would be happy to rehome him?
Would the vet have any useful advice for you?

You've tried everything you can. Time to have him PTS.

You can't have your DC's clothes and furnishings pissed on.

I can't believe people think you should put up with it. Your house must stink.

Would you rehome your children?!

Oh give over

He is neutered.

Confining him is impossible. Our kitchen/diner is open plan. Living room linked by arch. No spare bedrooms or utility room he could stay in and tbh it wouldn't work anyway because DS (the autistic one) would constantly be opening the door anyway.

No way would I have an animal peeing all over my home it's so awful! Maybe look into keeping him outside with a warm heated pet area? Or perhaps keeping him in a utility area inside. Failing that I think I'd try to rehome.

When my cats were doing this I consulted a behaviourist. I was sceptical but it did work. I had to add extra litter trays so it wasn’t such an effort to find a place to go. I then had to throughly clean by mixing up biological washing liquid with water in a spray bottle and spraying all of the areas that had been urinated on. Once dry I sprayed again with surgical spirit to get rid of any lingering smell. Then I had to leave cat biscuits around in areas that had been peed on previously to break the association in my cats heads.
It has worked and now I don’t have to worry that if I leave a blanket on the floor it will be soaked in urine.

Obviously if it’s dementia none of this will help but it might be worth a try.

I’m not sure how practical it is but could you confine him to only certain rooms in the house so he doesn’t have access to spray all over your kids rooms? Might make it a bit easier to contain the mess? I’m really sorry you’re in this situation, it’s so sad when our pets get older and they have health issues.

If it's dementia it's likely to be causing this dramatic change in behaviour. Of course Op hasn't suddenly realised the cat's unhappy.

Can you confine him to the kitchen and garden?

This is an older cat which clearly has health issues. OP has given him a comfortable home for 13 years and tolerated him pissing everywhere for 2 years.

It's not even remotely comparable (and frankly rude) to liken a pet cat to OPs children.

Have you spoken to the vet about whether having him pts is the kinder thing to do? Especially if it is dementia. Can't be nice for the poor thing nor for you. I'd ask the vet what his suggestion for this would be. I would also look into finding out if anyone would be willing to adopt him if he's still got a quality of life.

I think it would be cruel to try and rehome him, do really your option is PTS.

I don’t think you are in any way BU to consider that.

I've had my kittens 2 weeks now and I'm already sick to death of the smell of piss so you've done well to last 13 years!
I think you've exhausted all avenues possible to try and help him, I would take the advice of the vet and others here who have suggested maybe it's just not working. Not one sane person in this world would enjoy their belongings and their children's clothes pissed all over regardless of what they might say on MN.
Do what you feel is right in your heart to do.

Is there such a thing as cat nappies?