To rehome him?

[gallgal]

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

Realistically, he isn't going to be rehomed at his age and with this problem. Sending him to a shelter would be cruel - depriving him of the only home he's known - and would be very distressing for him.

You've tried to solve the problem and you clearly do care, despite what some on here seem to think. I had a dog who suffered from dementia due to liver failure. I kept him, despite incontinence and strange behaviour, until the point where I thought he was no longer the happy soul I'd had for 18 years. Then I decided the kindest and most loving act for a distressed and confused dog was to have him PTS. I have never regretted it for a second even though it broke my heart.

It sounds as though this is the place you've reached, OP. Let him go peacefully, in his own home and surrounded with the love you've given him so far. Good luck x

An unpopular opinion but I do find the attitude of 'life at all costs and for as long as possible' very odd.

Humans are cursed with the knowledge that we're all going to die at some point, but animals aren't. Lucky them. Blissful ignorance. Having someone preside over their life with the priority of happiness and health over longevity is the gift we give our pets. Determinedly 'keeping them going' till the bitter end because you cant stand to say goodbye isn't any sort of act of kindness.

Can’t the cat live out a retirement life in a self contained little shelter area being looked after by a charity? Isn’t that preferable to death?

Not really. You want to take a cat with dementia out of its home, stick in an enclosed space somewhere it's entirely unfamiliar with, and then have, what, people popping in every so often to feed and clean up the piss? Sounds great No one is going to want to foster an elderly cat who pisses everywhere, so it would just rot in a shelter, probably in distress.

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

I sympathise op, that sounds stressful. Cat pee is a strong and lingering smell too.
It's hard to know what to do for the best isn't it?

Is there such a thing as cat nappies?

There actually are yes, packs of ten available on EBay. Would you consider that?

Haven't you considered, you know, actually putting the washing away and not leaving it over the place?

Enzyme cleaner will remove any preexisting smells that are encouraging him to return to the same places.

Don't use bleach.

Try to reduce his stress by giving him escapes up and well away from small children.

Just want to add that 13 is not old enough to suspect dementia. We've only ever had one cat who got dementia and that was after he turned 18.

Anyone going nuts at you has never dealt with long term cat urine issues op, I sympathise.

Can’t the cat live out a retirement life in a self contained little shelter area being looked after by a charity? Isn’t that preferable to death

No actually, it doesnt sound better. Removing a demented cat from the only home its ever known and confining it to a small space whilst it pisses itself 24/7 whilst being looked after by strangers and its dementia slowly gets worse and worse sounds unbelievably cruel.
PTS is far kinder and more humane. If you love your pet, you let them go when the time is right. You dont force them to hang on to a life that causes them pain and suffering.

Yes 13 is very young. OP hasn’t replied to sensible suggestions. It seems PTS was the first and only option.
My old girl showed signs of dementia about aged 18. Eventually we did lose her. She went rapidly downhill and we had to PTS (not eating and lots of other very sudden issues.) I would rather have partitioned the house, converted the garage and cat proofed the garden, built a run, ensured bedroom doors were always shut, used enzyme cleaner, sought a second opinion etc etc. Than rehome.
I miss that cat.

I have considered, you know, putting the laundry away thanks @MitziK - but because of the soiling I am currently doing at least two loads a day and it's hard to keep on top of as well as effectively solo parenting a toddler and an autistic 5yo (DH works away). So I might fold it and go to put it away and the 5yo will throw a glass of water on the floor and slip in it (because I'm distracted by folding and not watching him), so I have to go and deal with that, then the toddler will start climbing the stairs because the 5yo has left the stair gate open, then the 5yo will want a drink and then half an hour later I will go to finally put the washing upstairs and it will have been pissed on.

OP has been too busy trying to put two kids to bed to reply to 'sensible suggestions!'

Why does he have a litter tray? He is not an outside cat?

I personally would be trying to sort this out somehow. I love my 1 yr old cat as much as I love my kids, so no way could I imagine sending them off to be rehomed after 13 yrs (or worst, putting him to sleep)

I definitely wouldn't try to re home him. How upsetting for him to leave his only home. That really would be cruel.

gallgal

13 really isn't that old for a cat and if he started this 2 years ago, he was only 11. Could it be that he finds living with 2 children stressful and he is acting out? Could you find another vet for a second opinion, because the first one doesn't sound very helpful so far. Animal behaviorist is another good option. Even if your house is open plan, is there a way to block a bit off for him? (I do feel for you - have an incontinent Manx who shares my study and it is very trying, but I love her too much to put her down.)

OP, just wanted to add that I had an infant and a preschooler when our cat was peeing on everything, so I can sympathize. I do think you should try unscented laundry detergent (and also no flowers.... or whatever else you can think of that has a smell). Good luck.

Cat nappies? Might help? Unfortunately this is what happens with pets but you should realise and be prepared for anything when you buy one and realise things can happen. I wouldn't put the cat to sleep! 13 isn't that old ffs! I've had cats and they've lived to the age of 22!

He's unlucky to have spent his whole life with somebody who didn't really care for him, but even though you don't appear to care you do have a responsibility. Don't have him killed because he's pissing on your laundry.

Don't listen to these nutty replies (and I say that as someone who has spent since 5pm looking after the kids' rabbit which is ill).

It can't be much fun having dementia, I wouldn't feel bad putting him down knowing you have given him a nice life.

Strange question but have you seen your cat actually spray in your house? I only ask because I had the same problem and it turned out a neighbouring car was following ours in and spraying everywhere.

Have a look at stud pants, they're nappies that breeders put on indoor stud Toms. They spray into those rather than all over your house. You could also try using old towels instead of litter in his tray seen as he seems to have developed a preference for fabric. Apologies if this has been mentioned before on the thread. I didn't read it all as I was getting too annoyed at some of the insensitive responses.

Why do people think putting an animal to sleep is the worst thing you can do? As a pet owner who adores my dog I consider giving him a great life AND death is the best and most loving thing I can do for him. Not keeping him alive at all costs.

And the poster who said she loved her cat as much as her children. Mind boggles. Not really worth engaging with someone who has that attitude.

I love my 1 yr old cat as much as I love my kids

Really? You love a cat that you’ve had for 12 months just as much as you love the children that you have (presumably) carried, birthed and cared for for every moment of their lives?

Really?

I have a pet, but I would not put up living with a cat pissing all over my house like that.

The cat would have to go

As hard as it will be I would say don't rehome him it would be cruel I would take your vets advice and PTS if he says nothing can be done to prevent this.....you have looked after him for 13 years so you have proved your a loving cat owner but you can't keep on dealing with this problem x

Could you put him in a cattery just for a couple of days? Give yourself a chance to catch up with everything. Deep clean all the places he’s had accidents in. Sort of start off afresh and see how it goes.

Does "the cat" have a name?

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

Why does he hate it there? Just because he is spraying around?