To rehome him?

[gallgal]

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

The cat was there first.

That's right, OP. Stick your kids up for adoption. And no one of child-bearing age should ever get a cat, just in case. Limit them to retirees. That'll make rehoming all the cats in shelters so much easier.

Love*

2nd opinion from another vet, animal behaviourist and then, if he can’t be accommodated as an outdoor cat with shelter, have him pts.

Have you tried Cystease capsules sprinkled in his food? It reduces inf3ctions really well.

The litter needs to be ultra clumping, good thick layer in a really big tray. Crystals and wood chips are really uncomfortable on paws.

The cat was there first

Absurd thing to say. What the fuck’s the matter with you?

It's not fair on the cat or you and your family. If the cat's change in behaviour is caused by ill health it might be a kindness to PTS for all. One of our dogs had urinary incontinence because of bladder ca - it was awful for all of us. In hindsight I do feel I should have let her go earlier. I felt I had a mop permanently attached to me and radiated a smell of flash or bleach. It was also very stressful for the dog and us.

Some of the posts here are just crazy, she can’t keep doors shut, she can’t keep him in one room, she has a child with ASD who probably wouldn’t understand that doors need to be shut.

There are always people on her that think a animals needs trump those of the rest of the family, it’s crazy. I couldn’t put up with the smell of cat piss. My cats ten years old and I love home dearly but if he became unwell and started peeing everywhere I would have to consider having him put to sleep (if nothing else could be done), it’s not fair on the cat or OP and her family. Cat pee smells awful and it’s hard to get rid of the smell out of fabric plus it’s not hygienic.

No one will rehome a cat that pisses everywhere, he would end up in a long term catlery which would not be fair on him.

These threads always bring out the crazies.

Fgs, the cat won't know if it's been pts. The only ones who will suffer for that decision are the OP and her family because I'm sure it will be heartbreaking for them.
Also suggestions of putting a cat with dementia outside are just ridiculous. Do people realise what dementia does to the brain? That would be beyond cruel.
Realistically op, you can't live like this. No one will rehome, so the only option is pts. Locking an ill cat in one room is also cruel. People only keep sick animals alive for their own selfish reasons.

If the cat has dementia and health issues then I would seriously wonder if it would actually be kinder to have him PTS. Cats are usually very clean and the fact he cant keep himself clean will be causing him distress for sure. I would have a chat with your vet to see what they think- if they feel he is suffering then the kindest thing would be PTS. Dementia doesnt get better- he's only going to become more and more ill over time and suffer more.
People are being very unkind in this thread OP- you have a disabled child and having to constantly clean cat piss out of everything in a daily basis is enough to drive the most patient person mad. Cat piss reeks terribly and its unhygienic and I totally get why you dont want your kids around it. Definitely have a discussion with your vet about his prognosis and the kindest option for him.

As above
Cats will urinate in areas they smell their own wee. Although less common, they also don’t only urinate because they are upset but also the reverse, because they want your things to smell like them I.e they love you and sometimes there is no reason for what they do

As a first I would recommend using enzyme washing powder to remove the smell on the washing.

Anywhere on hard surface he has urinated you can use white distilled vinegar spray (it neutralises the smells really well and the cat hates it so hopefully won’t be drawn again to that area)

Any soft surfaces at that point I would throw if you can’t effectively neutralise it as it will always be a point to be drawn to. Other surfaces use an enzyme cleaner to break down the smells

We have a cat that likes to urinate in the washing (clean and dirty) and she always has done. Our clothes are full of our smells and she wants us to smell like her. She also used to wee in her doggy best friends bed (the one she sleeps with and cuddles) but never has in the dogs bed she doesn’t like.

We have simply learned to lock the washing baskets behind doors she can’t access and don’t allow her entry to rooms she will be tempted to urinate. The dog she likes, her bed gets put in the hallway during the day so she’s not tempted to make the dog smell like her but the other bed is left as she doesn’t like that dog.

It’s awkward but she’s part of our family

Time to pts. Mine started doing this and being very odd, meowing weirdly, eldritch screeching, standing looking at the wall fixedly. The vet said it was the right thing to do.

Poor you OP!

And poor kitty. We love our young cats but even a few recent incidents of peeing and pooing in the house got to me, never mind two years of it!

Who are these people who have animals on the same level as humans? We all love our animals but seriously how could anyone put on before their own children’s health and safe living. Madness!!!

Many responses here are harsh and unfair, imo.

Sometimes male cats do then when they reach a certain age. they just do. Even neutered males.

We had one that did so when I was growing up; we were lucky we were able to have him rehomed on a farm so he could be an outdoor/barn cat where he couldn't do any damage inside. but that's not always a possibility.

OP, if you can't rehome him, and the vet has no further medications to try, I would suggest trying to turn him into an outdoor cat, with someplace to sleep in a shed/garage/a new cat house outside, since obviously having a spraying cat indoors isn't a sustainable thing. Especially with babies/toddlers. It's just not; cat piss stinks and is never completely gone from furniture/carpet. If these options don't work, I would consider having him put to sleep.

I'm sorry.

I'd get a second opinion from the vet. We had a very similar issue with our 15 year old cat in the autumn. Turned out to be urinary stones. We had to have 4 courses of antibiotics as the standard ones did not work and only the really strong tablets worked and we had to change the diet to that expensive urinary stuff that you buy and the vets - 2 months on S/O and now on C/D.

Stones are very common in older cats.

There are some absolutely bonkers posters on this thread OP so please try to ignore some of the nuttiness. Of course it’s not the same as giving away your child.

This “keep alive at all costs” that some of these holier than thou posters are advocating is actually cruel if the animal is living an unhappy, in pain or horribly confused life.

The cat does not seem happy with its current situation and if you are unable to change the situation then the kindest thing would be to put him to sleep.

The cat was there first
FFS - I wasn't suggesting that the children be put down - merely that the transition from a quiet home with two adults, presumably out at work a lot, to one with young children would have been a big change for the poor cat, and may be at the root of his behavioural changes.

help to make it easier FOR HIM, but being there - your voice and scent will be familiar to him and will help make him less panicked about dying

Most cats I have known have preferred to be alone when it's come time for them to die. Usually, they've sloped off to be alone and we find them later.

OP, I'm sorry, this sounds like a rotten situation and very difficult for you. is the cat in distress or unwell? Having an animal put to sleep when they're old and ill and unhappy is a kindness. Otherwise, I wondered if he could be housed in an outhouse or wee kennel type of thing?

Has he displayed any symtoms of dementia other than the spraying? If not it is likely to be a stress issue.

If he goes out, it could be another cat bothering him, leading to him to be excessively marking his territory. Could be your youngest, does he have high places to escape to if he is getting bothered?

Remove all soft stuff, my old 19 year old would go on anything soft. Shut doors of the rooms you don't want him to go into.

If you have no other options, it would be kindest to pts, but get the vet to come to you, so his last moments are not too stressful, it doesn't cost much more than going to the surgery.

Prozac. Seriously, get your vet to prescribe Prozac, it has very good results with stopping inappropriate urination in cats (I am assuming your vet has ruled out UTI, diabetes, thyroid issues...).

Honestly? Get rid. It's a very elderly cat. Its rights and needs come way below the rights of your children not to put up with cat piss everywhere.

People are being ridiculous, OP.

You clearly say this issue has been much worse in recent years, so the cries of "DoEs 13 YeArS mEaN nOtHiNg To YoU?!" are not relevant and you'd be best placed to ignore them.

If the vet didn't give any other advice, I would look into your local shelter and see if they could take him. You must have a lot on your plate, I hope you and your DC stay well.

www.amazon.co.uk/Outdoor-Enclosure-Playpen-Shelter-Weatherproof/dp/B07LBVT857?linkCode=xm2&SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&creativeASIN=B07LBVT857&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&creative=165953&camp=2025
Sorry for the long string. An outdoor shelter? Or cat house and run, part of which could be covered to house him? Might be a nice idea, a walk in one, so you could visit and change litter ? If you have outdoor space.

Jesus, some of the replies to this thread are borderline insane.

The OP is clearly at the end of her rope to be considering rehoming a pet that she has loved and taken care of for 13 years, the last two of which the animal has been incontinent. She obviously has a lot on her plate and looks for some advice, and some people see fit to lay on the guilt simply because they over sentimentalise an elderly cat.

This cat is not equal to a child. It doesn’t have any concept of mortality, the future or hopes and dreams. OP will not be dashing his hopes for a cat-retirement on the south coast by looking at PTS.

Good luck with whatever you decide OP.