To rehome him?

[gallgal]

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

A cat with those issues is unlikely to find a home, he would most likely be put to sleep. If his issues can't be managed PTS is a perfectly reasonable option here, and better it happens with you by his side than in a rescue surrounded by strangers.

Oh this sounds awful for everyone, including the cat.

Could you get a second opinion? Perhaps from a specialist urology vet at a referral centre vets? And an animal behaviour specialist?

Are these an option? www.dog-nappy.co.uk/Cats_Faecal_and_Urinary_Incontinence_payment_page.htm

Please don’t pts. If you have explored all options for him at home, then contact your local small cat rescues (not the big ones) to see if they can help. There are small rescues out there that will take in and work with problems like this and at 13 he’s not old so could be retrained. I’ve seen it happen.

If he really won’t break the habit many small rescues also offer Sanctuary for life. Where I volunteer we have an amazing 4acre site that the resident cats have the run of. They (regardless of their health/behaviour problems) can use the indoor heated bedrooms when they want.

Hope you can find somewhere like this for him x

I can't put up with him urinating all over my children's beds/floors, no.

Have you tried shutting the doors?

"Re-homing" (ie handing over to a shelter) an animal of this age, especially one with a hygiene or medical problem is virtually giving him a death sentence - it's just you want to comfort yourself that you haven't killed him.

Don't put him through the distress of being sent to a strange place (especially if he has got dementia - it will terrify him). As least give him the final comfort of being with him in his last moments, and help to make it easier FOR HIM, but being there - your voice and scent will be familiar to him and will help make him less panicked about dying

Don't take the cowardly way out by shuffling your responsibilities onto a rescue or another individual - you owe him at least as gentle a death as can be managed.

Let’s be realistic... who is going to take a 13year old cat with dementia who pisses all over the place?

Passing the old guy onto a rescue centre or someone else without disclosing his problems is the only way he’d go over the door.. and even then it’s really only to spare yourself the guilt of putting him down.

As for cat nappies in theory cutting a tail hole in a newborn nappy would work but he’d smell and need changed regularly or he’d get a skin infection from the urine burning his skin. Only other option is a second opinion from another vet.. no uti on a dip test but ours would’ve tried a round of antibiotics just incase.

I wouldn't try to rehome him , no one else will want an animal urinating all over their home. Also you can't be expected to live like that, if he was my cat I would PTS. And personally anyone who says it's cruel etc is speaking rubbish, would you want an animal using your home as a toilet.? It's disgusting and extremely unhygienic not to mention the kids having to live there. Op - PTS is the only solution here, don't feel guilty about it either. X

Does he go out?

I notice you say this has been happening the last 2 years ,and that you have a toddler,could the toddler be causing the stress That’s ,making puss wee..could your cat be to old to be around a toddler? .is there anyway of keeping them apart ,

So sorry, OP, it sounds as if your poor puss has reached the end of the road. We all know he can’t be rehomed. The last act of love for our much loved pets is saying goodbye when the time comes. Take him to the vets and stroke and cuddle him as he falls asleep. 💐

I think PTS is the realistic option. It's easy for outraged posters to go on about how awful it is, but they aren't the ones with a cat pissing on things multiple times a day! Or maybe one of you lambasting the OP will volunteer to rehome him and have your house pissed all over? No? Thought not

A gentle and painless death is not the worse thing that can happen to an animal. Dementia is really horrible in animals. My elderly dog got it and eventually we had to PTS as she was just going in circles constantly and soiling herself.

I don't think you're going to be able to rehome a 13yo cat who marks the way yours does, so your only realistic option is to have him PTS.

I don't think that would be wrong, by the way.

My DCat was PTS with dementia at about the same age, OP. Incontinence was part of the reason. Our vet was supportive.

If he's 13 and has dementia, rehoming him isn't really going to be realistic. And if he does have dementia he's probably only going to get worse. He would likely be extremely stressed in a rehoming cattery and could potentially be there for months if he does have dementia and incontinence issues. I think you need to consider putting him to sleep if you've tried every other option.

I would have him put to sleep, prob kinder than re homing him, at his age a new home would be distressing for him. You have two young children you cannot have him spraying everywhere and esp on clean laundry, its unfortunate and you will feel guilty but you have tried everything you can

Has the vet done blood & urine tests to rule out other health issues? In particular kidney disease, hyperthyroidism and diabetes?

How are you cleaning the areas where he has toileted (rugs etc.)? Cats are drawn to the same spots if they smell of their urine, you need to use an enzyme cleaner to break down the scent (bleach for example will just encourage them to go to those spots). You can find some on Amazon, usually with names like Urine Off.

How many litter trays are there and where are they? Does he have access to outdoors?

Has the vet suggested any supplements? There is one called Aktivait specifically for cats with dementia and age-related issues. If he is stressed, you could also try YuCalm (or Zylkene, but I find YuCalm works better) or Feliway Cystease capsules.

I used to volunteer for a cat charity and often cats with issues urinating outside their litter tray do snap out of it in a new situation, if it is behavioural to begin with and especially if the old home has been stressful (kids, other pets etc.) and they then go to a calm environment. 13 is technically not that old for cats, many live to their late teens/early twenties, but you can only assess his general health if you have had the vet do a full geriatric blood/urine test panel. Many people are also happy to adopt senior cats (they make great pets for people who are out at work all day and have quiet but small homes).

Someone above mentions sanctuaries old cats can "retire" to - these really are not the norm at all; there are a very small number, all privately run, and mainly for special needs cats but really this is not likely to be an option. With literally millions of stray cats in the UK, charities really need all cats to get adopted to make space for more to come in.

As others have said, PTS is one option you will need to consider if he's quality of life is not great in general. You don't say much about his general behaviour or health though so it's hard to tell from your post if you've noticed any other changes.

Op the people who generally put up these threads get torn to shreds. I absolutely empathise with you, you or your children absolutely cannot live like that. And he is clearly not happy either. I think you can take comfort that you gave him 13 years of a good life. Realistically you won't be able to rehome him. I think it time to speak to your vet.

My perfectly healthy 2 year old male sprays in bags, Laundry baskets etc.Our answer is to curtail his access to bedrooms.
You want to get your cat put down, you know he won't be rehomed. Do the decent thing and take him to the vet and get him euthanized.Don't rely, as so many do, on some animal shelter having to look after your confused cat which you're not prepared to tolerate anymore.

I wonder if he is stressed? If this has been going on for two years would it coincide with the arrival of your second child? Perhaps the extra noise etc is too much for him.
If there's no problem with his litter (i.e.) he's using it as well as everywhere else, get several more litter trays and spread them around your home so he has multiple choices of litter wherever he is.
Second suggestion: could this be a territory issue - is he going outside and feeling threatened by another local cat that you maybe haven't seen and therefore constantly marking his territory and trying to protect the family? Try keeping him inside for a while.
Hugs to you anyway, what a sad situation to be in. There are some cruel comments here but you clearly care for him if you've been dealing with this already for two years.
Re rehoming: if it helps to know, I took in a cat who had all his teeth removed, was going blind and had repeated urine tract infections, I enjoyed him for a lovely year. There's such a thing as end of life fostering. If it comes to it, speak to the rehoming places nearby and see what they think the options are.

13 seems pretty young to get dementia. Have you tried speaking to a behaviourist? You can see them through Pets at Home for £40 (or I'm sure your vet could recommend one - if he's insured you should be able to claim it back too). It's a very common problem so they'd likely be able to help.

Shut the bedroom doors so cat can't access the children's rooms.

The fact he soils fabric only makes me wonder if he is reacting to something he can smell on it. (Has it been going on for as long as you had DC2?) Worth considering if there has been a change in detergent/fabric conditioner etc? I would second a behaviourist before euthanasia.

I think you can take comfort that you gave him 13 years of a good life

That's exactly what our vet said about my DCat, too.

possibly dementia - or your children have made him unhappy which is causing behavioural problems. The cat was there first.

Have another talk to your vet and ask if they can suggest any realistic solutions. What is his quality of life like otherwise? Talk to Cats Protection ( for example) and see if they have advice. We have adopted 2 elderly cats in the past and they had been in the rescue for a long long time. Old cars are tough to rehire and if he has dementia it may not be the kindest option. Good luck

Have you any family members that could take him? He's not incontinent he is actively spraying by the sounds of things. A change in his environment might help and a quiet house with multiple litter trays.
I would find this situation intolerable tbh. If you can't confine him to a room eg utility room with a cat flap to outside then it's hard to know what else to suggest. The vet wouldn't judge you for saying enough is enough after 2 years and trying a variety of things. If you can find someone suitable to take him then I would say do that.