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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To rehome him?

318 replies

gallgal · 03/02/2020 20:08

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

OP posts:

Stripyhoglets1 · 04/02/2020 19:43

At 13 I would think having him PTS is kinder than a rescue. You would not be cruel to do that x

TerribleCustomerCervix · 04/02/2020 19:44

Well you could

It’s not a case of if you can, more like if you should.

Put a previously house trained, likely dementia suffering cat in a nappy, so it didn’t even have the opportunity to use the litter tray anymore? For whose benefit? Would an anxious cat really see the pro’s of being forced into feline Pampers or is it more likely that it would unsettle them more?

Allow the animal some dignity.

Alsohuman · 04/02/2020 20:02

Allow the animal some dignity

Precisely.

Bartlet · 04/02/2020 20:32

Agree with posters who say they’d never put a pet down are not good pet owners but are actually rather selfish. Part of having a pet is ensuring that it lives a good life and has a good death. Not a prolonged unhappy life in a fucking nappy.

Cats are incredibly clean animals. How do you think they’d enjoy having piss next to their skin 24/7?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/02/2020 20:46

Not really. You want to take a cat with dementia out of its home, stick in an enclosed space somewhere it's entirely unfamiliar with, and then have, what, people popping in every so often to feed and clean up the piss? Sounds great confused No one is going to want to foster an elderly cat who pisses everywhere, so it would just rot in a shelter, probably in distress.

Better a week too soon than a day too late.

Deslynam'smoustache is exactly right.

susandelgado · 04/02/2020 20:56

May I suggest that you contact your local branch of Cats Protection? They will re-home older cats, my friend has taken on three so far to give them a better life.

PurpleFlower1983 · 04/02/2020 20:57

Have you tried using a puppy pad and changing it daily? I know it sounds like a simple suggestion but I have a female cat who did this, she just suddenly stopped using the litter tray and ruined 3 carpets! We have one of those puppy pad trays now with a puppy pad and she does her business there.

Strokethefurrywall · 04/02/2020 21:05

I'm not calling people who love their pets feral nut jobs.

I'm calling those who are judging the OP for having the audacity to put her own mental health and family health above that of her aging cat, feral nut jobs. Capice?

If you love your pet but are not judging the OP for what is clearly a difficult situation then, by default, you're not a feral nut job.

If you think OP should put her cat above all things including, apparently the welfare of her children and her own sanity, then yes, a feral nut job you are as far as I'm concerned.

You love your pets like they're family, that's fine. I love my dogs like they're family. But they are still dogs and I have the good grace to know the difference between my pets and my children and who comes first as far as my priorities are concerned, especially if the time I take to clean up laundry and piss is time I'm not able to actively engage or keep an eye on my toddler or engage with my 5 year old.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/02/2020 22:04

Bartlet twice I have had cats who suddenly started peeing everywhere.

I didn’t put them down I went to a vet who found out what exactly was going on and after they were given the right treatment they didn’t pee everywhere and lived good lives

Neither were suffering from a UTI or dementia

According to posters on this thread I should have pts because that is for the best rather than both living another good and happy 7 and 10 years each.

Pardonwhat · 04/02/2020 22:57

Oliversmumsarmy

Of course you did

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/02/2020 00:26

Yes I did

Vanhi · 05/02/2020 06:38

According to posters on this thread I should have pts because that is for the best rather than both living another good and happy 7 and 10 years each.

Many people, myself included have suggested various options, such as further veterinary investigation, and said that if that doesn't work, euthanasia may be the kinder option. Very few, if any, have just said 'nah, put to sleep'.

SterlingViolet · 05/02/2020 07:57

How's his diet?
I know the vet has ruled out UTI, but I'll mention this anyway, as it's not necessarily an 'infection'.
My neutered male cat began to do this too (never did before at all) and after three vet visits, finally figured out it was too much protein in his diet. (I thought the more expensive 'scientifically balanced' food I was giving him was best - but apparently not so.)

Since yours is elderly, he doesn't need as much protein as before. Can you try a low-protein diet for him?
And plenty of fresh, clean water available at all times.

I'd try the nappies, too - I didn't know of them back then (years ago).
And best to keep him confined to a single room for a while.
If in a room with carpet, put wide roll-type vinyl flooring over it, temporarily, for protection. (Tape over seams to avoid any pee seepage.)

Poor you, and poor moggy.
This situation is miserable.

Honeyroar · 05/02/2020 10:07

The point most of us were making re PTS is that it’s not a cruel/bad option and is probably better than sending an elderly cat to a rescue or new home.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/02/2020 10:23

The vet has mentioned dementia as a possibility, but it is by no means certain that is the issue. At 13 I don’t think it is even all that likely, it has been going on for a year or two. Cats don’t normally have dementia issues at 11. It is far more likely to be a physical problem with something like stones, or an emotional problem.
I would be taking my cat to another vet for a full check, and really exploring what I could do to make his life a bit better if the problem is emotional, before considering having him destroyed at 13. It isn’t terribly elderly.

GarlicSoup · 08/02/2020 00:09

Why do some people consider a 13 year old cat ‘old’. Crikey that’s middle aged, mine are 20, 18 and 17.

partofyoupoursoutofme · 08/02/2020 03:56

That sounds awful op! I would rehome/pts. 13 years is a good life span, and this behaviour won't get any better.

ilovesooty · 08/02/2020 04:34

It won't get any better without a more thorough investigation into why it's happening.

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