AIBU husband and tradesmen

[berryfull]

Perspective please.

Arranged to get some garden work done (think patio)

Asked for recommendations on local Facebook group.
Out of recommendations got 4 quotes.
Decided on the middle second lowest quote that could do it on the best date
Checked the tradesman’s reviews on their Facebook page (10 all fine) and checked with a friend who vaguely knows the guy to say whether he had any bells about him. Said not.
Told the tradesman that the timing was very important, and that it was a dealbreaker if they couldn’t commit to the day.
The tradesman asked for a deposit for materials, so I said ok but asked for an invoice prior to payment. Paid him by bank transfer a few hours later once invoice received.
Tradesman contacted me the day before the job was due to commence saying that he couldn’t get materials delivered in time and so couldn’t do the job and would let me know when he would come.
I asked him when this would be.
He said in a week’s time, which wasn’t convenient to me so I said no, that doesn’t suit. Please return the deposit.
The tradesman refused, saying he’d ordered materials already.
I said well cancel them and refund me today. He refused saying i would have to wait until he got refunded.
He is now refusing to answer messages.

My husband says that I’ve been daft, got myself into a regrettable situation and “gone on the offensive” . Daft because I paid a deposit. “Gone on the offensive” because I asked for my money back rather than let the tradesman come and do the job a week late when it wasn’t convenient.

Is the tradesman being reasonable?
Is my husband being unreasonable?
Am I being unreasonable ? My husband now says I’m being “hysterical “ For being angry about this and being angry at him not backing me up . And apparently unrealistic to think I’ll get someone to come and do this work on the day they said they would.

Forgot to say - DH sounds worse than the tradesman! What exactly does he (and half the posters here) think you should have done? Genuine question. What should you have done?

There's only one thing maybe - I probably would have asked him when we agreed to job, if there was anything that needed to be done in advance, eg ordering materials. BUT... I am a bit of a control freak over thing like this and I don't think my questionnaire (I kid you not) owud be the norm for everyone

I don't get why it's such a big deal to some people on why she needed it done on a specific day.

Maybe she is using annual leave to be at home? Maybe it's needing done before they put the house up for sale? Before they have a party?

Who gives a crap why? When I want work done, I request a date usually to avoid clashing with work. Not everyone has unlimited time to spend waiting around for other people to do stuff.

This seems to be the same old story with tradesmen these days. They are unreliable, shit workers, uncommunicative, need I go on? I am terrified to ask anyone to do anything because of all the awful experiences. You did everything right. Your bloody husband is a twat. Let him organise it next time and see how he gets on. I swear this happens mainly to women. I no longer take any crap and will sue if necessary.

Sue if necessary... are you american? Or a solicitor? If not then you might want to look into the costs involved in suing someone. The lawyers are the only winners... every time

Decent tradesmen are in demand, but they also very often have cancellations at short notice or jobs that aren’t quite ready for them to go on to - so you will most likely find someone else who does have a bit of time to help you out.

Oh yeah @Aglet you sue a fencer for having to delay a job, good luck with that!

Yes. We had on our home insurance some cover for legal fees and sued someone. But generally, a solicitor's letter will suffice.

You have to pay a deposit upfront for materials, unless you offer to buy the materials (specified by the tradesman) yourself and they agree.

Tradesman have to content with cancelled jobs and late/non-payment all the time, they cannot afford to buy materials for a job to then be cancelled, or the fee 'renegotiated' etc.

They often cannot know the availability of materials before they go to order and often told of unavailability after ordering, building merchants do not work the same as retail stores. And they cannot order until they receive the deposit.

YABU to not have re-arranged knowing that he had gone ahead and ordered materials.

You are now in the position where you are going to go to court to get your deposit back, the work isn't done, and you'll have to wait to get the deposit back (if you do) or re save up before getting another tradesman who is just as likely to delay the work as the first one was.

I've never paid a deposit upfront
Tradesmen do have to contend with cancelled jobs etc - that's their profession, but very rarely will merchants not take materials back
They most certainly can know the availability of materials - that's their job
They can order without a deposit as almost all trades have a credit account
She won't need to go to court to get her deposit back, and if she does the tradesman will lose and pay her costs, so he will pay her back.
Not all tradesmen delay jobs, in fact the majority don't.

He clearly did not order the materials in time.

I like the way you set it up. Clear on boundaries and expectations. Perhaps not perfect but I like that. You sounded clear and concise. I don’t think the builder believed you. Go back try to clear the air. Next time put in writing. I think more of us should do this.
Your dh is being sexist and unsupportive. Next time he should arrange and see how it works out for him.

A patio could be a good solution to the disposal of your dh though op..
Always an alibi available on mn...
Yanbu to expect a supposed professional to be honest.
Yanbu to expect your dh to back you.
Is he also flakey? Maybe he is judging the builder by his own acceptable standards - or lack of?

Hes BU.
He should have known there would be a lead time on materials, and taken that into account before promising to do a job on x date.
Personally if we needed to do a job on x date (as we often do) I'd be double checking with our material suppliers to check that everything that was required was in stock or available for when requested.

YABU. It is unusual imo for work to be carried out to plan and one week later is absolutely fine. I have had work done when I'm away what's the problem?

I don't think YABU. I find deadline with Trades incredibly frustrating. So many of them seem to be able to stick to a schedule or communicate effectively. It drives me mad!

Sorry, did mean to say though, honestly if you're not booking your dates in at least a couple of months in advance hes not busy, and that ain't a good sign in itself.

The tradesperson was unable to stick to their contract and should therefore refund you the money. However they have a reasonable time to do so - they're under no obligation to send it to you the same day they missed the appointment!

I haven’t read the whole thread but when we had
Builders in we got the materials delivered direct to us and paid wherever it had come from direct
That way if the builders fucked us about we at least had the materials that we had paid for

They often cannot know the availability of materials before they go to order and often told of unavailability after ordering, building merchants do not work the same as retail stores. And they cannot order until they receive the deposit

Can't they get an invoice and pay at the end of the month. And why can't they order in advance to collect (and pay) the day before the job? These are wholesalers not consumer facing shops.

But anyway the OP is not unreasonable for cancelling a job if it can't be done on the arranged day. I had this years ago too when the guy phoned the night before to say he didn't have the materials. Not remotely apologetic even though he knew I'd booked annual leave.

if you're not booking your dates in at least a couple of months in advance hes not busy, and that ain't a good sign in itself

not true, some tradesmen keep days free to fit in all the small jobs people want doing.

Or people cancel.

Many tradesmen simply don’t have the funds to pay for materials upfront. It’s normal to pay for them yourself
I've not found this at all, we've had decorators in who have bought all the paint without us paying a deposit and also had a driveway and patio done again without a deposit being taken, and that was a very expensive job with plenty of materials that needed pre ordering. On the start day they actually had some materials that hadn't arrived but they just started doing other things instead so they honoured our agreed start date. Great tradesmen.
Hope you get sorted OP

YANBU I can’t believe the amount of people that put up with such shit service. Although having to try and get a plumber recently for a fairly big job, I’m also not surprised.

I would leave it all to your husband to sort out now.

You're not daft or hysterical and as you've seen, this is the building industry for you. They are so bloody unreliable I'm amazed you managed to get 4 quotes!

@buttery81 your husband needs educating as his logic is flawed. It's not about having cashflow issues it's about ordering goods for customers who then change their minds and leave you out of pocket.

My DH owns a security business and keeps very little stock as it's so expensive and has little space to store it. He doesn't keep "spares" and only buys equipment when a 50% deposit has been paid as he only deals in quality goods and the amount of times his customers change their minds (and go for cheap nasty stuff) isn't worth mentioning.

It's also good business sense to get a deposit as it commits customers to their decisions and helps the business owner organise their bookings so that things like not having enough materials on time doesn't happen: this is what happened in your case. His time/materials management is poor.

All the people who think YABU are all partners of trades people I’m sure!

You see this on mumsnet all the time.
Op says. Tradesperson fucked up a job- left it for weeks etc etc
Replies come- well they can’t do it all. They’re stressed - what do you expect. They’re not there to help you etc etc

It drives me bonkers. Most tradespeople are arseholes who do what the fuck they want when the fuck they want to.