AIBU husband and tradesmen

[berryfull]

Perspective please.

Arranged to get some garden work done (think patio)

Asked for recommendations on local Facebook group.
Out of recommendations got 4 quotes.
Decided on the middle second lowest quote that could do it on the best date
Checked the tradesman’s reviews on their Facebook page (10 all fine) and checked with a friend who vaguely knows the guy to say whether he had any bells about him. Said not.
Told the tradesman that the timing was very important, and that it was a dealbreaker if they couldn’t commit to the day.
The tradesman asked for a deposit for materials, so I said ok but asked for an invoice prior to payment. Paid him by bank transfer a few hours later once invoice received.
Tradesman contacted me the day before the job was due to commence saying that he couldn’t get materials delivered in time and so couldn’t do the job and would let me know when he would come.
I asked him when this would be.
He said in a week’s time, which wasn’t convenient to me so I said no, that doesn’t suit. Please return the deposit.
The tradesman refused, saying he’d ordered materials already.
I said well cancel them and refund me today. He refused saying i would have to wait until he got refunded.
He is now refusing to answer messages.

My husband says that I’ve been daft, got myself into a regrettable situation and “gone on the offensive” . Daft because I paid a deposit. “Gone on the offensive” because I asked for my money back rather than let the tradesman come and do the job a week late when it wasn’t convenient.

Is the tradesman being reasonable?
Is my husband being unreasonable?
Am I being unreasonable ? My husband now says I’m being “hysterical “ For being angry about this and being angry at him not backing me up . And apparently unrealistic to think I’ll get someone to come and do this work on the day they said they would.

And again, a reputable tradesperson won't take money off you if they can't fulfill a contract in time.

I'm with You on this OP..

We have a joinery company and take a 50% deposit upfront. If you cancel the job you won't get it back unless we had a refund of the materials. If we could'nt get a refund we would give you the materials. Often 50% doesn't cover the timber though. So I don't think you were being unreasonable paying a deposit, but you will probably lose money on this.

If he agreed and confirmed he could do it on a certain date that implys that he checked surely? I mean if I needed supplies for a certain date I would call my suppliers before I committed?

Judging from the thread I'm one of the few people who do this

Although if the job couldn't be completed on time due to materials we may offer a refund. Oooh it's tricky!!

I think YABU but id like someone to explain to me why it is sexist to use the word hysterical? I think threatening legal action in this situation is actually verging on hysterical, and the fact that he's refusing to engage with you makes me believe that you were being exactly that.

@slipperywhensparticus I'm now starting to see why it's so hard to find decent tradespeople when the general population is so complacent.

I think he's had a lucky escape tbh.

He thinks people should have enough cash flow in the business to pay for materials in advance and if they don't, then they could be in trouble financially and go bust halfway through the job!

He is absolutely right.

I work in the construction industry. We never pay for work until it is complete.

If you were set on using this contractor, you should have ordered the materials yourself.

Seems like you’ve cut off your nose to spite your face as you will now take longer to have your think patio built.

If he agreed and confirmed he could do it on a certain date that implys that he checked surely? I mean if I needed supplies for a certain date I would call my suppliers before I committed?

You're bringing common sense into it now, slippery Unfortunately, if a client's hooked in by having paid a wodge of cash up front, some traders feel no real motivation to check anything because they're covered no matter what happens

Or as my treasured plumber once said about the less reliable ones: "education is what you get if you read the T&Cs - experience is what you get if you don't"

you will now take longer to have your think patio built.

I am grinning.

I have been very polite!

Yes interesting that approx half the folk think it’s fine for a contractor to behave this way.

So no matter what arrangements people make - there are always scenarios which mean the arrangements need to change. Why did you need it done on a specific date - have you a garden party coming up?

@berryfull. It's really not ok for a contractor to behave this way!

Think patio! :-D

To be honest, I have no regrets. I’d rather it take longer than have an unreliable liar on my property.

The guy has messaged me to say it’s not breach of contract as he cancelled due to bad weather. Despite the email chain underneath it saying otherwise, so he’s a liar and stupid as well as unreliable.

Any advice on how to find a reliable tradesman?

Deposit requested , invoice issued and deposit paid day 10

Can I just ask who this invoice was from?
If it was from the supplier, proving that he actually ordered the materials, then fair enough
If OTOH it was from the trader himself I'd be wondering what he'd actually used my money for

Why I want it done on a Specific day is my business surely?

YANBU OP. Totally agree with you. If there was any potential delay, he should have warned you in advance and I would have respected him far more if he had said, its probably cutting it too fine, but I could guarantee a day after your holiday.
Why on earth should we put up with poor communication and broken promises?
And you are not being hysterical, you are being assertive.

Pinkyyy hysterical is a very misogynistic word!

It literally refers to the uterus (and the carrier of a uterus aka women).

Hysterectomy (removal of uterus) and hysteria have the same etymology . Hysteria is the Greek word for womb.

We've had quite a lot of building working over the last few years and my DH is 'in the trade'
Dealing with tradespeople can be very frustrating, however if this guy is working outside, delays can be inevitable as he may have got behind on another job due to the weather for example.
I have accepted like it or not there can sometime be delays.

My DH will sometime ask for upfront payment for materials, not because we have cash flow, but because WE have been bumped off by customers cancelling.

It sounds like your job was scheduled quite quickly and your builder should have checked with the building merchants that the material were available to manage your expectations.

OP, the only thing you did wrong was pay for materials IMO

If a tradesman has no credit with his suppliers, it does not bode well ime

I completely agree with you OP. If the timings were too tight, the builder should've let you know it wasn't possible from the start. How can people think that's your responsibility?? We are getting a lot of work done on our house at the moment and often the timing is crucial because it affects other trades so it's absolutely not ok to just say oh thats just how it is. If you say you'll do a job on a certain day then you do it, otherwise you are letting the customer down and they are fully entitled to cancel!

I think you're overreacting, especially now starting legal proceedings

I've never been asked to pay a deposit up front. Maybe part-way through a job, but not before it has begun.
Also, it's well-known that tradespeople are a little 'loose' with schedules. You can't exect the same adherence to timetables that you have in your work, it just doesn't work that way.

I would have just re-scheduled for a time that is convenient for you.

The only time I have ever made for materials in advance is when I physically went into the shop and placed and paid for the order, then took possession of the materials myself.

I'm inclined to think you've been a bit precipitous.

It really pays to get personal recommendations and to look at the trader’s portfolio.
You were clearly specific on dates and, yes , there’s the odd occasion where a part or two might be late being delivered.

Personally, I’d never find a trader on Facebook.