Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 16 and 13 year old alone overnight

364 replies

Scampitramp · 31/01/2020 22:18

School years 11 & 9. 13 year old nearly 14.

We've been invited to a party a couple of hours away so will stay overnight. Would leave mid afternoon Saturday & return around lunchtime Sunday. Used to being left while we go out locally, sometimes until early hours. Fairly sensible - can be trusted not to have friends over/parties/not to set fire to the house.

Seeing it as first foray into further independence.

Yay or nay??

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 31/01/2020 22:24

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, but I don't even really know why, to be honest. I have a very sensible 14 year old and a daft 13 year old. The 14 year old goes all over the county by bus, we have recently started leaving the daft 13 year old home alone if he doesn't want to come to DDs sport stuff on weekend mornings. I just don't see me leaving them over night in a couple of years.

TrainspottingWelsh · 31/01/2020 22:31

Depends on the relationship between the two. Whether the 13yr old would listen to the 16yr old about anything important, or if the 16yr old would be fair or go slightly power mad etc. Whether in an emergency there's someone nearby to call on, eg if one becomes ill etc.

Angharad07 · 31/01/2020 22:32

As long as your 16 year old is sensible and is reliable enough to keep an eye on 13 year old then I think it’s fine

Tombakersscarf · 31/01/2020 22:32

Why does a 13 year old need a foray into independence that involves being left alone overnight?

whattodo2019 · 31/01/2020 22:34

Yes definitely

daisypond · 31/01/2020 22:36

Yes, completely fine. My 16-year-old sometimes did babysitting for other people’s children that involved staying overnight.

SisyphusDad · 31/01/2020 22:36

I have a very sensible and independent DS16 and a very sensible and independent DS12. And very good neighbours who know them and who they know. I would have no problem.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 31/01/2020 22:37

Are you actually insane? 😂

yeraballoon · 31/01/2020 22:37

I wouldn't leave a 13yo overnight. NSPCC guidance below

  •   <strong>*Babies and toddlers</strong> should never be left alone.

  •   <strong>*Children under 12 years old</strong> shouldn't be left home alone for long.

  •   <strong>*Children under 16 years old</strong> shouldn't be left alone overnight.

  •   <strong>*Over 16 year olds</strong> shouldn't be left alone frequently for long periods of time or for multiple nights.
  Children should never be left in <strong>a home that could put them at risk</strong> – like with no electricity or heat, or with dangerous objects.
Snuffkindle · 31/01/2020 22:37

No..ours are that age. We've been invited to a wedding this summer and they're going to have to go to their grandma's. I don't think they are ready yet. The eldest would be fine and wouldn't move, but the younger would want to be out and.about and literally anything could happen

LellyMcKelly · 31/01/2020 22:39

No, I would be very uncomfortable with that.

ButtonandPickle19 · 31/01/2020 22:39

Depends on the child. I moved out at 16 and had my own place! My sister is still at home and hates to be left at 21... both ends of the spectrum so it depends on your DC

yeraballoon · 31/01/2020 22:39

Are you expecting that the 16yo would be responsible for the 13yo?

Dixiechickonhols · 31/01/2020 22:39

Nspcc guidance is no for the 13 year old. My dd has just turned 14 and I wouldn’t and she’s sensible plus I’m at more relaxed end usually.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/01/2020 22:40

No absolutely not , you have children parent them or sort out childcare.

raspberryk · 31/01/2020 22:40

Fgs of course it's fine.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/01/2020 22:40

And leaving a 13 year old until the early hours is nothing to be proud of.

HairyFloppins · 31/01/2020 22:40

I dunno. I don't think I would as a parent of teens. I would now my dd is 18. Only you know your children though, if you think they will be fine, they probably will.

Are you close to your neighbours, maybe they can keep an eye out. I know mine would.

ShinyGiratina · 31/01/2020 22:41

It's not falling foul of the NSPCC guidence cited above.

It comes down to the individual circumstances. Are they both sensible? Do they get on well? Do they have local support if required?

Experience of being left for evenings together is a good start.

Patch23042 · 31/01/2020 22:44

I think it’s fine. My two are Y11 and Y9 also and I would leave them overnight if the need arose. I’d perhaps feel even better if the older one were a sixth former though - but I can’t explain why! It’s only 8 months hence!

Original poster
Scampitramp · 31/01/2020 22:44

We do have good neighbours that they know they can call upon. They are used to being left alone for long periods such as when we're at work or out locally - never been any problem.

OP posts:
FrivolousPancake · 31/01/2020 22:45

Replies to these questions always amuse me!

Of course it would be fine unless they’re a pair of utter thickos

Bluerussian · 31/01/2020 22:47

You mention a 16 year old in the thread title.

I would say that a 16 year old may be fine looking after siblings overnight as long as they don't play up and behave properly. Only you know that - do ask them how they feel about being left for a night.

TumboDinks · 31/01/2020 22:47

16 year old definitely. 13 year old only if the two get on well and the 13 year old is sensible enough in their own right, not fair to leave the 16 year old in charge if there could be issues. I leave my 16 year old overnight but arrange for 13 year old with asd to stay with relatives, he can't be trusted not to do something dangerous

Sameday · 31/01/2020 22:49

I honestly wouldn't. I'm guessing you have doubts or you'd just do it without posting here first.