To leave 16 and 13 year old alone overnight

[Scampitramp]

School years 11 & 9. 13 year old nearly 14.

We've been invited to a party a couple of hours away so will stay overnight. Would leave mid afternoon Saturday & return around lunchtime Sunday. Used to being left while we go out locally, sometimes until early hours. Fairly sensible - can be trusted not to have friends over/parties/not to set fire to the house.

Seeing it as first foray into further independence.

Yay or nay??

I could not leave a 16 year old responsible if anything happened to their sibling. It isn't fair. I was about as sensible as they come and I still had a party (which was gatecrashed) when left alone.

Personally, I wouldn't but then I am very cautious.

If not duffers won't drown.

HRTFT Not in a million years.

16 is plenty old enough to babysit her 13yo sister for one night. I was solely responsible for my own newborn at that age. These replies are weird.

HRTFT Not in a million years

Yeah. They will be REALLY old by then.

"And their babies can't defy them, or slam out the front door to go to a friends', or FB the neighbourhood..."

Sounds like an indictment of very specific 13 year olds. I think many of us could be trusted to take a nice overnight with parents away, order a bit of takeaway and feel very grownup paying for it "ourselves," and stay up a bit past bedtime to feel like we were getting the most out of our freedom. My sister was very similar to this, I literally couldn't imagine her deciding that a moment of trust from our parents was the right time for some defiance, or to throw a party.

The worst we'd have done would have been drinking half a wine cooler and saying we were "sooooo drunk" and fretting about whether we'd be found out for so long that we thought we were sick from drink. :-D

I think it really does all depend on your kids but not every child is just waiting for a parental absence to go get a tattoo and join a biker gang.

For me, it would depend upon how the siblings got along and whether or not the 16 year old was happy to be responsible overnight. If eldest was happy with the arrangement and youngest could be relied upon to follow instructions then I'd do it. If it wasn't going to work, I'd suggest the younger one ask a friend if they can stay over.

We've had DD1's friends for entire weekends if parents have been working overseas and older siblings aren't reliable.

My children I would say definitely ok . They were massively sensible at that age !!

Me aged 16, very sensible, quiet and trustworthy. Not smoker.or drinker. Left alone one night - paaarrrttttyyyyy

I would and I did. My kids have also babysat younger kids overnight when they were 16 as did I at that age.

I’d leave phone numbers etc

Fire service advice is that teenage brains don’t wake up for smoke alarms, they are programmed to rely on adults.

Can you get an older relative, maybe cousin in 20s to sleep over?

I wouldn't make a 16 year old be responsible for a 14 year old.

It entirely depends on the individual kids. If they are both sensible then there would be no problem. I would just make sure they know what to do in case of emergencies.

It’s absolutely fine and completely legal. Go and have a good time!

No absolutely not and the fact you 'sometimes ' go out until the early hours is totally irresponsible.
You are the parent you should not be offloading parental responsibility into your oldest dc.
Wonder how long you have been doing this.
I think you are being selfish and immature.your dc is the teenager,not you.
Get a trusted adult in to care for your dc.
When your dc is 17 are you going to be arguing about who gets to go out at night and who cares for the youngest dc?

I left one 17yo home for four days while we drove off for six hours to take his sister back to uni. The uni she had been at for a year before she turned 18.
At 15 I was babysitting a family of four kids including a baby and toddler, AND answering the phones for the parent’s cab service and radioing them for pickups.
My kids worked as lifeguards from 15. They are literally paid to make sure kids don’t drown and provide first aid to the general public when they slip, fall, nosebleed, have seizures, or whack their heads on the slide.

Yup definitely fine. I was babysitting children in my teens - I really don't get that 16 year olds can't be expected to look after an almost 14 year old... how much "looking after" do they need?

I'd leave them money for pizza and possibly a movie, give them numbers to call in an emergency and let a neighbour know. Call to check in if you get worried.

If not duffers won't drown.

The full quote is Better drowned than duffers, if not duffers won't drown which has a slightly different slant!

I liked the duffers quote too!

We leave DD (16) alone overnight and left DS when he was that age.

However when DS was 16, DD was 13 and came with us.

I wouldn't expect a 16 year old to take responsibility for the younger one.

I wouldn't but we don't have neighbours and are very isolated

If we had neighbours who the kids knew and could call on then yes

You know your two best re how sensible they are, but i should imagine they’ll be fine.
Our dds were around that age when we first left them overnight - and went to Stockholm for 2 or 3 nights (I forget) for a wedding.

Absolutely no way. It isn't just about how responsible they are, mine would be worried all night and not sleep that we were not home. Put your kids first I'm afraid as opposed to a party

I send the 14yo to her mate's house and give the 16yo £30 for Deliveroo. She has a mate or two over to keep her company. No booze, no boys, no candles!
Works for us!

As long as they have someone local they can call in an emergency I think it's fine. They can use deliveroo or ubereats and watch Netflix all night! They'll love it.