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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 16 and 13 year old alone overnight

364 replies

Scampitramp · 31/01/2020 22:18

School years 11 & 9. 13 year old nearly 14.

We've been invited to a party a couple of hours away so will stay overnight. Would leave mid afternoon Saturday & return around lunchtime Sunday. Used to being left while we go out locally, sometimes until early hours. Fairly sensible - can be trusted not to have friends over/parties/not to set fire to the house.

Seeing it as first foray into further independence.

Yay or nay??

OP posts:
Rosebel · 31/01/2020 23:17

My parents used to leave me overnight occasionally when I was about 14/15. Not sure how comfortable I'd be leaving my two when they are that age
If you think you're children will be fine then I would go for it. Your eldest is almost an adult so as long as they are sensible I wouldn't hesitate

daisypond · 31/01/2020 23:18

NSPCC says it’s fine to leave them too.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 31/01/2020 23:19

We left our 18 year old home alone for a weekend recently and that made me feel uneasy. I certainly wouldn't leave a 16 and 13 year overnight, you are also going to be a 2 hour journey away from them.

123rd · 31/01/2020 23:20

I wouldn't.

Peakypolly · 31/01/2020 23:21

FrivolousPancake
Exactly

Daftodil · 31/01/2020 23:21

At 16 your DC is old enough to join the army. I think s/he will be fine for one Saturday night (as will the 14yo).

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 31/01/2020 23:23

My friend leaves her 16 year old in charge of 3 younger siblings for the weekend on occasions (working overnights etc) and doesn’t bat at eyelid. I would happily leave ds1 (now 17) but would be a little wary with ds2(13) simply because the two of them don’t always get on. I’d do it in an emergency though, and I’m sure in reality they’d be fine. You know your dc, and their relationship, best.

copperoliver · 31/01/2020 23:24

No way. Pay for someone to watch them or leave them with a relative x

BillHadersNewWife · 31/01/2020 23:26

My DDs are the same age and I wouldn't. Too many things to potentially go wrong.

daisypond · 31/01/2020 23:26

Get a 16 year old babysitter to babysit them.

Justaboy · 31/01/2020 23:27

Over 16 year olds shouldn't be left alone frequently for long periods of time or for multiple nights

Humm .. anyone there proof read that one?..

multivac · 31/01/2020 23:27

We left our 18 year old home alone for a weekend recently and that made me feel uneasy.

Whereas at 17, I was renting a flat with friends...

Heymacarana · 31/01/2020 23:27

This thread is insane. People saying no Smile

Jesus Christ. A few years ago no one would think twice. In most of the work now no one would think twice (and in large parts of it they would both be working)

I would have serious concerns for people this age who couldn’t be left alone for one night

Heymacarana · 31/01/2020 23:27

World not work

BBOA · 31/01/2020 23:28

You are utterly mad. Putting your social life before your kids. 16 year old should not have to be responsible for 13 year old over night. Completely unfair. Fights, friends round, drinking, anxiety. My 15, nearly 16yo would not be up to that all. You are being selfish.

Heymacarana · 31/01/2020 23:30

You are utterly mad. Putting your social life before your kids. 16 year old should not have to be responsible for 13 year old over night. Completely unfair. Fights, friends round, drinking, anxiety. My 15, nearly 16yo would not be up to that all. You are being selfish.

Please tell me this is a joke!

Let your children/young adults grow up and not be mollycoddled for their entire lives

PleaseNoFortnite · 31/01/2020 23:30

I Interrailed around Europe with a (16 year old) friend when I was 16 for 3 weeks!

I'm sure that a 16 year old can keep an eye on a 13 year old alone for one night in their own house - what do people think is going to happen?

ScrimshawTheSecond · 31/01/2020 23:32

I left home at 16. Unless your kids are hellraisers, then, yes, of course it's okay to leave them overnight.

maryberryslayers · 31/01/2020 23:33

Why would it not be ok, unless they have special needs or are very immature or reckless?

Surely it's the child not the age that matters? If you think they will have a wild drunken party and trash the house then no. If you think they will possibly stay up late, eat junk food but ultimately be sensible, then as long as they are happy with it, they'll be fine.

It's quite concerning that people are uncomfortable about leaving 18 year old adults at home 'alone'. How will they ever learn to function independently?!

daisypond · 31/01/2020 23:33

Many 16 year olds I know live independently of their parents many miles away in lodgings.

TeaAndCake321 · 31/01/2020 23:34

There’s a 16 year old at home with them, you can get married and have a baby legally at 16. I really don’t get what’s the problem, I mean how old must you be to be left alone with a 13 year old? I think once you reach about 15 it’s fine to be left even with younger siblings, our parents were leaving us at about this age. It was completely fine, although we did have common sense which kids today may be lacking in 😆

CustardySergeant · 31/01/2020 23:34

"I moved out at 16 and had my own place!"

Same here.

daisypond · 31/01/2020 23:37

And even more 16 year olds live in student-flat-type accommodation by themselves.

northernlittledonkey · 31/01/2020 23:38

I would it’s a one off, if they’re used to being alone, think it’s a good idea. Give ground rules, it’s only really the Saturday anyway, if they’re anything like mine in a relaxed weekend they can sleep until lunch if I let them!

AmelieTaylor · 31/01/2020 23:39

@NK346f2849X127d8bca260

We left our 18 year old home alone for a weekend recently and that made me feel uneasy

WTAF?

No wonder uni students aren’t coping & the suicide rate is very high. The idea is to raise children not infantilise them.

I was flat sharing at 17. Babysitting overnight at 14. & My parents were on the strict end of parenting!