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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My manager just sent me a ridiculous email!

217 replies

ItalianinLondon · 28/01/2020 21:25

I've been off work sick for the last 3 weeks on my GP's insistence (I have lupus and had some viral things going on and GP said not taking time off would be a bad idea).

My line manager has been calling me at various points during this period and, to not make the story overly lengthy, called (from a blocked number) on Friday evening and I couldn't hear anything wheni picked up, assumed it was a cold call and hung up.

She then sent me an email yesterday accusing me of childish and insulting behaviour, because I'd clearly, quote, stuffed the phone under a pillow and pretended I couldn't hear when I realised it was her.

Obviously it is not something I would do, however tempting it might be... so I denied it, and we got into a bit of a back and forward by email.

I said it was a very insulting allegation and that she should apologise, to which I got:

"As for pretending that you couldn’t hear me on the phone, I know what I heard, and I was convinced that you answered and then made a pretence. I was shocked beyond measure that a colleague could behave like that. It embarrasses me to talk or think about it."

Although she has clearly managed to talk and think about it quite a lot...

Anyway, I contacted HR today and said I found it really weird for her to make totally demented accusations about me (paraphrase). They were clearly quite shocked when I said what was in the email and asked me to forward the emails.

Should I do it?? Without her consent? I hate to make a big fuss, and my bad temper has simmered down now, but seriously, I think she has gone a bit crazy over this and it is kind of concerning!

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 30/01/2020 11:09

They sound good, OP.

Scrumbleton · 30/01/2020 21:38

I’m an experienced manager - she’s completely in the wrong to be calling you on sick leave for a start. If I really really needed to speak to someone on sick leave I’d arrange a time by text. Bonkers! Send HR thrr Ed emails

incognitomum · 31/01/2020 13:48

Any news.

KingaRoo · 31/01/2020 13:57

So glad they are taking it seriously. You did the right thing.

ItalianinLondon · 01/02/2020 20:36

No news, except that we all had an email round from HR (those us who manage others) that our organisational policy is no contact from management during sick leave unless it has been specifically arranged or agreed, and that any liaising re. return to work date alterations etc. etc. should be done through HR.

I should have been back on Monday but now I've gone down with a kidney infection and spent the last couple of days in bed. It has been a bit of a pain because DH is away for work and I am trying to keep DDs fed / clean / entertained... urgh. Thankfully they've been at my friend's house with her 3 DSs rampaging around her garden causing chaos so at least they haven't had too dull a time. But my GP said absolutely no way was she going to say I was fit to work on Monday and I should book an appointment for early next week and we'll take it from there. My line manager is sooo not going to be happy Sad

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 01/02/2020 20:49

My line manager is sooo not going to be happy

She can go swivel. What is she going to do?

Sorry to hear your health continues to throw you curve balls. Sending you healing vibes. Thanks

cstaff · 01/02/2020 21:14

She might not be happy but you can be damn sure that something has been said directly to her. You probably won't hear about it but that is just the way. Also, at least now you know you are safe to take more time off if needed as policies have been charged. Hope you recover soon.

ItalianinLondon · 01/02/2020 21:42

Tbh, I don't care if I don't hear about it - and kind of assumed I wouldn't. I'm just happy with it doesn't happen again, with me or anyone else!

OP posts:
incognitomum · 01/02/2020 21:59

Sorry you're still ill. I hope manager backs off now.

KatherineJaneway · 02/02/2020 07:39

Sadly many people are "Manager" in name only and have absolutely no people or leadership skills.

That's the problem with a lot of businesses, they promote based on being able to carry out a particular task well with no regards to people management.

squirrelnutkins1 · 02/02/2020 09:13

In the nhs even if you have a sick note for say 6 weeks you still have to ring in / be rung WEEKLY by your manager! Wish it wasn't the case as you just want to be left alone when poorly!
Wishing you a speedy recovery x

sueelleker · 02/02/2020 09:18

*Our company (supermarket) policy is to visit people at home when they're off sick!!!^
I hope they let you know first! After my knee replacement I was practically bed-bound for a fortnight. There's no way I could have popped downstairs to open the door.

EnidBlyton · 02/02/2020 09:57

good result from your HR. glad you forwarded the email.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/02/2020 10:11

Glad HR seem to be acting appropriately.

IntermittentParps · 03/02/2020 10:10

an email round from HR (those us who manage others) that our organisational policy is no contact from management during sick leave unless it has been specifically arranged or agreed, and that any liaising re. return to work date alterations etc. etc. should be done through HR.

Good for them. And good for you for raising it with them.

I bet they've had a quiet word with your line manager.

justilou1 · 04/02/2020 22:46

Just read this. I went through similar (in Aus) some years ago. Thought all was okay until my appraisals from same manager went degenerated. I had to point out link between manager’s conversation with HR and my suddenly less than glowing appraisals. (The calibre and results of my work easily provable). Discuss possible repurcussions with HR as your manager sounds slightly labile.

Mummytoonlychild · 11/02/2020 09:52

@ItalianinLondon how are you doing?

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