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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My manager just sent me a ridiculous email!

217 replies

ItalianinLondon · 28/01/2020 21:25

I've been off work sick for the last 3 weeks on my GP's insistence (I have lupus and had some viral things going on and GP said not taking time off would be a bad idea).

My line manager has been calling me at various points during this period and, to not make the story overly lengthy, called (from a blocked number) on Friday evening and I couldn't hear anything wheni picked up, assumed it was a cold call and hung up.

She then sent me an email yesterday accusing me of childish and insulting behaviour, because I'd clearly, quote, stuffed the phone under a pillow and pretended I couldn't hear when I realised it was her.

Obviously it is not something I would do, however tempting it might be... so I denied it, and we got into a bit of a back and forward by email.

I said it was a very insulting allegation and that she should apologise, to which I got:

"As for pretending that you couldn’t hear me on the phone, I know what I heard, and I was convinced that you answered and then made a pretence. I was shocked beyond measure that a colleague could behave like that. It embarrasses me to talk or think about it."

Although she has clearly managed to talk and think about it quite a lot...

Anyway, I contacted HR today and said I found it really weird for her to make totally demented accusations about me (paraphrase). They were clearly quite shocked when I said what was in the email and asked me to forward the emails.

Should I do it?? Without her consent? I hate to make a big fuss, and my bad temper has simmered down now, but seriously, I think she has gone a bit crazy over this and it is kind of concerning!

OP posts:
cheeseomelette · 28/01/2020 21:40

Definitely send them. I'd absolutely deal with this if it landed with me. Totally unacceptable behaviour and I hope you feel better soon.

ItalianinLondon · 28/01/2020 21:40

It was about 7.15 when she called... but yes, she would have called from work. Our numbers come up as withheld when calling "out" which was why I initially answered, because I thought it might be work, but when I couldn't hear anything I assumed it was one of those cold calls...

And no, she's not supposed to be contacting me - if anything needs passing on, our organisation policy is that it goes through HR!

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 28/01/2020 21:41

Send the Emails.. stop being concerned about your Boss.. was she concerned about You.. Hell NO...... Send the Emails to HR... and No you do not inform her... Flowers

Longdistance · 28/01/2020 21:43

Yes, forward them. The company I work for, even though we have company email addresses the company owns it, therefore has the right to access all emails through IT if you refuse to share anything.
I’m in agreement that your manager shouldn’t be contacting you if you’ve been signed off.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 28/01/2020 21:44

Presumably the messages were sent via her work email in which case I'd have thought work can request to see them if there's a good reason.

Queenoftheashes · 28/01/2020 21:45

Good lord send the emails. She clearly needs to go on a course.

justilou1 · 28/01/2020 21:45

Absolutely... a) she shouldn’t be calling when you’re on sick leave anyway. b) she’s batshit.

caffeinefix · 28/01/2020 21:45

She shouldn't be contacting you at all whilst you're off sick!

azigazigah · 28/01/2020 21:46

Send them and include the number of times she's been in contact during your sick leave too.

Mummyshark2019 · 28/01/2020 21:47

Of course you should forward the emails. She's massively unprofessional and she can't treat people that way.

ItalianinLondon · 28/01/2020 21:47

Yep, on our work email... ok, I am forwarding them!

OP posts:
dontgobaconmyheart · 28/01/2020 21:48

Of course follow up with the complaint OP, she has behaved unprofessional and inappropriately, not to mentioned breached protocol by contacting you in this manner whilst off sick. She's embarrassed herself and could have really caused an issue for a vulnerable, anxious or unwell person behaving as such- HR need to know and she needs to be dealt with and the proper training provided to her.

Raspberrytruffle · 28/01/2020 21:50

Your manager is batshit! Hand everything over to hr to deal with Flowers

acatcalledjohn · 28/01/2020 21:53

Bloody hell. Yes, absolutely send to HR. No consent needed. She sounds batshit crazy.

Hope you are feeling better. Thanks

YasssKween · 28/01/2020 21:53

Absolutely send them, don't think twice.

She's made her bed and been incredibly unprofessional.

It's not up to you to cover her arse when she's been totally combative and unprofessional.

SabineSchmetterling · 28/01/2020 21:53

You’re definitely doing the right thing. Her behaviour is really not on.

2020newme · 28/01/2020 21:54

Yes I would definitely send them.

However, did she send the email to your personal or work email address? If work, why were you looking at that when off sick? You could have just ignored the silly bitch.

Get well soon Flowers

Noshowlomo · 28/01/2020 21:55

Let us know how it goes. She sounds mental !

newbingepisodes · 28/01/2020 21:58

Tell us how it goes. Bloody crazy woman! Leave it to Hr to sort for you.

Ontheboardwalk · 28/01/2020 21:59

Absolutely send them everything

Who is the 1% who voted YABU.

goodgodingovan · 28/01/2020 21:59

You don't need her consent.

Make sure HR know about all the times she's contacted you while you've been off

Honeyroar · 28/01/2020 22:01

HR can’t exactly do much if you don’t forward the emails, surely?

incognitomum · 28/01/2020 22:04

Good lass. Don't let her bully you.

ItalianinLondon · 28/01/2020 22:05

I've forwarded them (or, okay, I've scheduled it for the morning because I think it looks a bit more professional Wink). Yep, she sent them to my work email and my personal email... although I have checked my work email periodically while I've been off, because I was wanting to check on a few things. But she clearly wanted to be sure that I'd get her communications post-haste!

OP posts:
Louise91417 · 28/01/2020 22:05

Work is not allowed to contact ypu whilst you are on the sick...id be making an issue out of this never mind the rest..

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