My manager just sent me a ridiculous email!

[ItalianinLondon]

I've been off work sick for the last 3 weeks on my GP's insistence (I have lupus and had some viral things going on and GP said not taking time off would be a bad idea).

My line manager has been calling me at various points during this period and, to not make the story overly lengthy, called (from a blocked number) on Friday evening and I couldn't hear anything wheni picked up, assumed it was a cold call and hung up.

She then sent me an email yesterday accusing me of childish and insulting behaviour, because I'd clearly, quote, stuffed the phone under a pillow and pretended I couldn't hear when I realised it was her.

Obviously it is not something I would do, however tempting it might be... so I denied it, and we got into a bit of a back and forward by email.

I said it was a very insulting allegation and that she should apologise, to which I got:

"As for pretending that you couldn’t hear me on the phone, I know what I heard, and I was convinced that you answered and then made a pretence. I was shocked beyond measure that a colleague could behave like that. It embarrasses me to talk or think about it."

Although she has clearly managed to talk and think about it quite a lot...

Anyway, I contacted HR today and said I found it really weird for her to make totally demented accusations about me (paraphrase). They were clearly quite shocked when I said what was in the email and asked me to forward the emails.

Should I do it?? Without her consent? I hate to make a big fuss, and my bad temper has simmered down now, but seriously, I think she has gone a bit crazy over this and it is kind of concerning!

You're not being unreasonable at all, OP, your boss seems a bit bat shit!

She previously accused me of making up that I had a health condition for leniency...

What a spiteful bitch. I would hang her out to dry.

OP also another one who seconds telling your union. Fwd the union the email you sent to HR.
And good luck with the phone call.

Good luck with the phone call OP, you’ve been treated appallingly

Honestly, I think she's seriously got an issue - it seems so bizarre to make an accusation like this, even more so to put it in writing.

I have a work colleague who is also a line manager (not mine) and she is cautious to the point of being paranoid about what she puts in writing! Harder to deal with but also more logical. And I could never imagine her doing something like this anyhow.

Anyway, thanks for making me feel that I'm not totally overreacting. I am generally quite slow to anger, but these emails really pissed me off! It is actually good from that POV that it was an email exchange also, as it meant that my more instinctive reactions could be deleted ( What the hell? I'm sorry, but I do not understand the point you are trying to make here...)

She sounds unhinged. I think this explains everything she really thinks about you and your sick leave. Ultimately she thinks your bullshitting. I reckon she called on an evening to "catch you out" and it kind of back fired on her.
Did she ever explain WHY she was calling you anyway?

Like others have said phone call from managers aren't usually allowed whilst I'm sick leave except I certain circumstances like to maybe arrange your return to work arrangements maybe.

Regardless the simple fact she confirmed in writing her bonkersness is I your favour. I would absolutely love to be a fly on the wall during her conversation with HR.

Good luck with your phone call later today and I hope your health improves soon (my best friend has Lupus so in know how debilitating it can be sometimes). I hate to say it but be cautious going forward with your boss after this. Be ready to note and not brush off any odd or negative behaviour from her once you return. She sounds a bit bonkers.

Great that it's all in writing but be careful about changing your responses in case she produces her own set of emails, with the original reactions!

Oops, sorry - I think I misunderstood your post! Ignore!

that the new prime minister is called Fucking Boris Johnson - "Daddy talks about him a lot

I love your kid - that is too funny and your DH aint wrong either - but lets not go there on this thread

Regarding your colleague / manager, I cant believe that she could be that stupid. Good luck today with HR although I am sure you will be fine - it is not like you have done anything wrong, the opposite in fact.

@staff
The other one which both DDs have been picked up on for at school is:
"Jeeeesus Christ. What? My dad says it isn't swearing!"

Just remember HR are not your friend. They are there to protect the interests of your employer. They want to see the emails so there legal people can advise on damage limitation incase this thing ends up in court, not because they want to help you.

Interested to know what HR say.

You did the right thing op. You need to leave a paper trail of this bizarre behaviour from your boss so that if she tries to bully you or accuse you of anything in the future HR can see the build up to it.

Ooh she has a real bee in her bonnet doesn't she??

You definitely did the right thing. She shouldn’t have called you when you’re off sick anyway. I’d have bcc’d hr in straight away. Well done for sending it on.

Phoning from a blocked number would seem to be rather weird behaviour - in fact phoning you whilst you are off sick would be a no-no unless it was a KIT call. Send the emails, she is a shit manager.

Great that it's all in writing but be careful about changing your responses in case she produces her own set of emails, with the original reactions!

Yep. Sorry, it was a bad idea to delete things that you said. This could come home to roost if she's shown the emails and successfully claims that you didn't send the original versions.

You've done the right thing. @sosaidzarathustra makes a good point too though!

Just remember HR are not your friend. They are there to protect the interests of your employer. They want to see the emails so there legal people can advise on damage limitation incase this thing ends up in court, not because they want to help you

I think this is a bit of stretch - there's no indication anything would arrive in court because of some poor management.

Also, I do generally think HR are helpful to the individual employee, not just defending the employer. It is in the interests of every business that their employees are content. It will drive up motivation, engagement and productivity compared to completely disenfranchised employees.

OP, you should definitely approach the conversation with HR with an open mind. The outcome would most likely be positive for you I think.

Surely we have all had calls when the line is dead/can't hear so we hang up.

And then the person CALLS AGAIN! Not sends you a ranty email?

I’m not sure OP is saying they’ve sent a doctored set of emails to HR? Unless I’ve misunderstood?

Hope your meeting with HR goes well. Your manager is well out of bounds on this one.

Send screenshots of the call logs too.

All good so far.

Do not be apologetic with hr on your call. She is 100% in wrong.

Also I wouldn’t engage with her again unless it is in writing or with a hr representative present.

Good luck with the chat with HR.