To wonder if they are nasty to most teachers ?

[Werkinggirl]

I've been in a new school for 3 weeks. To be fair it's a challenging school in a deprived area, but i've had so many nasty comments.
What annoys me is then when I see the nasty students being nice and showing respect to other teachers !
I follow the behaviour policy and apply C3s for both poor behaviour and work that is not complete or to a poor standard, and extreme issues I have them removed by on-call.
I'm shocked to see just how nasty some students are.
I've had quite a few nasty comments about my appearance, picking apart my face, analysing the way I walk, my voice, anything. Making fun of my mannerisms, things I didn't even realise I did !
Today a girl I have never taught shouted at me that my hair was a mess.
I've been told 'you peck head, you bore me' all sorts of stuff. Sworn at, told to shut up. If you ask them a simple instruction they about, "alright, jesus christ chill !" at you and make comments about how their old teacher is so much better, can actually teach etc.
Fortunately there are some lovely and hardworking students who I have never had issues with.
I've had 2 girls pretend to throw up when I walked past and say out loud "she's horrible".
I've managed to get some students on side and they know I expect the work to be done or it will result in a detention.
I had a class who behaved brilliantly and my last lesson with them I bought some biscuits. One girl whispered "Why the fuck is she handing out biscuits she's fucking weird".
There are of course known troublemakers who play up for every single teacher, but I feel like a failure when I see the other teachers getting so much respect, as I feel I am very fair.
I've only been there 3 weeks and don't know if I can take the constant nastiness and rudeness. If a peer were speaking to me like that I would just shut them down, but in school we have to be the example and be professional. What would you do ?

When ringing, start the conversation off with something good. Anything. Then it's easier to say 'however, Princess does seem to find focusing on her work quite difficult - she can be doing great stuff, but if there's a comment from one of the other students, she instantly stops her work and joins in, which is preventing her from doing as well as I can she is capable of doing.'

or 'Shanelle is very articulate and can make some very useful contributions in class. What worries me is that she is often late because she's been sent to the office to remove her false nails/take off makeup/sort out her uniform, which upsets her day before it's even started. I am sure that if she could come in at the same time as everybody else, she'd be more relaxed and able to do so much better - but to do that, she needs to stick to the appearance/uniform policy. She's obviously smart, I can tell that straight away by the way she speaks in class, but missing the first ten minutes of my lesson is going to harm her chance to show just how bright she is'.

Be prepared for the parent to want to talk about how another teacher did x or y or how she can never get any response from the head of Science, etc - have contact details for however staff are supposed to be messaged by parents; an email if that's how it is done, for example - don't offer to take up her concerns/complaints for her, or you'll be constantly hearing complaints about other staff members and students - set your boundaries.

With my trickiest class I have a smiley face board - I specifically target the behaviours of focussing on work straight away and completing task in a detailed and high quality manner. Names under the smiley face, ticks next to names if I spot students doing it more than once. 2 phone calls at the end of the day to students with the highest number of ticks. Phones calls take less than 5 mins, parents are delighted, and it builds up enormous amounts of student goodwill.

Sounds awful.
Maybe aim to move schools.

The "problem" pupils are rarely nasty to all teachers. They are just very quick to work out what they can get away with. In my school days, there were "feral" kids in some classes who behaved impeccably in other classes. Same kids, different teacher. Often a new teacher would come in threatening fire and brimstone, just to make the point that they were in charge, and then would mellow over subsequent lessons once it had been established they were in charge.

Are you comparing like with like? Did you teach in a private school in the UK and have you taught in any Australian schools with a high proportion of students with social problems?

Of course I am not comparing like with like. Why should I? This thread is not private vs state or UK vs Australia.

I was trying to say that to be a teacher doesn't mean having to be subjected the abuse the OP is getting. I have worked in the UK. I have had that sort of treatment. I moved to another country and now have a lovely job, where I am treated with respect.

Of course I am not comparing like with like. Why should I? This thread is not private vs state or UK vs Australia

Well you were making it very much about UK versus Australia. You wrote:

Hence, why I moved. The UK is a hotbed of social problems, teachers are going to get it first and it will take generations to resolve if ever
My advice to the OP: move to australia. You'll get double the pay and almost none of the grief. In my city, a substantial proportion of the teachers are british and they wouldn't go back. I admit it is not a practical solution for most, but it will change your view of teaching in the UK radically
I'm not quite sure how that could not be UK versus Australia. Hence why I'm asking if you've taught private in UK or a state with social problems in Australia?

I don't agree with all that 'respect has to be earned' nonsense. It's a phrase that rude and naughty children use as an excuse to be vile to teachers. You show respect to your teachers because they are there to teach you, and you are there to learn. End of.

I agree @starray. Teachers have earned it, by virtue of their qualifications and experience. End of.

If you think 'respect has to be earned' then its probably your kids causing the trouble.

You are being naive if you think kids haven't always sniggered about their teachers' appearance. We were nice, well-behaved little girls but we always giggled about our teacher's hairy chin, poor woman. You need to grow a thicker skin and stop caring whether they like you. Ignore the whisperings and crack down on real bad behaviour. Or move to a less 'challenging' school. Treat it like a job, you're not some ministering angel transforming their dead-end lives - you wouldn't work in some shitty office environment, would you?

Teacher here :) Firstly, new schools are HARD. I taught in a London school in a deprived area for five years before moving to an entirely new part of the country where I got a job in a small town school. I naively thought that with a few years experience with tough kids I'd find it a walk in the park - how wrong was I!
The kids were foul, there simply wasnt as much support in place, on call never showed up, if they did you were made to feel that the problem was yours - "they're fine for me." Well, yes, SLT, of course they're fine for you.
Kids push new teachers. They are used to newbies lasting a year then disappearing. If you stand the test of time, eventually they do come round and another newbie will show up to be their new hazing test subject. School is often a far more secure environment than home for many of them - they'll push every boundary they can.
Teenage girls are rotten; I know exactly what you mean about the personal comments. I remember remarking to a colleague that they could make you feel like a teenager again yourself and about 1ft tall. Ignore ignore ignore. It's really, really hard and I've had to blink back tears before after a particularly shit lesson or lunch duty but they are children and their childish bullying is beneath you.
It will get better. I promise. I think SLT sometimes forget what being new and on a much heavier teaching timetable was like. It's exhausting and draining and you feel you're falling apart and losing control.. Ignore all the "every lesson counts" targets about pace and blah blah blah for now - honestly if you have a few shocking lessons where stuff all gets done it doesn't matter. You probably had a few shit lessons as a child where you didn't meet some objective or other, they won't fail.

I never 'sniggered' at my teachers appearances. Not all kids are nasty

Vulpine - obviously not all kids are nasty. But the sad thing is many kids can be nasty. You get awful classes. OP - try and remember three good things from every lesson. It might be something really small - the good kid who did try, the fact someone who normally does nothing wrote the date and title, whatever. There WILL be good things that happened - it's just hard to focus on it when everything seems so overwhelmingly negative

With the whispering, I normally asked them if there was anything they wanted to share with the rest of the class, or with me directly. If it continued, I had a single desk right in front of mine, and moved one of them and sat them there.

I was known as 'the bitch queen from hell' by certain of my classes, and other students used to call me 'Mum'. Go figure!

Don't always teach from the front of the room, or sit. I used to walk the room constantly, and would appear right behind a disruptive student, just when they least expected it. Not being where they can see you all the time puts them off balance.

Change the layout of the desks. I sometimes used to change them three times a day depending on which sets I was teaching.

For rewards, I used to buy small smiley face stickers in multiple colours, and stick them in the books when marking. If they got enough ticks, they got a sticker. Even the year 10s and 11s liked the stickers, as I didn't give them out to everyone.

The NQT year is the hardest one, and has to be endured. Good luck with the remaining weeks of it. Don't forget you can breath soon after Easter when Year 11 go on study and exam leave and you won't have to look at some of them ever again.

Op I’m sorry for you. You sound like a lovely person and a really conscientious teacher.
As a former youth worker and mum of teens I’d assure you that it’s nothing you are doing wrong and the others are doing right. The key difference is relationships. These kids need to trust you before they will even engage with you, let alone get on with learning
Most of these kids have really challenging home lives and aren’t always having their basic emotional needs met, therefore aren’t even ready to learn. This needs to be acknowledged by you- maybe keep one of the ting leaders back and acknowledge that they seem quite angry/sad/disengaged and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Identify that they are really good at xyz and that you want to help them develop it further. Some won’t be won over by appealing to their better nature as its yet to develop so just offer them consistency and do done tactical ignoring
Try to ignore personal comments as they are intended to gain negative attention. The biscuits thing- some kids don’t know how to respond to kindness or react to it negatively as it highlights a need for them at home.