To wonder if they are nasty to most teachers ?

[Werkinggirl]

I've been in a new school for 3 weeks. To be fair it's a challenging school in a deprived area, but i've had so many nasty comments.
What annoys me is then when I see the nasty students being nice and showing respect to other teachers !
I follow the behaviour policy and apply C3s for both poor behaviour and work that is not complete or to a poor standard, and extreme issues I have them removed by on-call.
I'm shocked to see just how nasty some students are.
I've had quite a few nasty comments about my appearance, picking apart my face, analysing the way I walk, my voice, anything. Making fun of my mannerisms, things I didn't even realise I did !
Today a girl I have never taught shouted at me that my hair was a mess.
I've been told 'you peck head, you bore me' all sorts of stuff. Sworn at, told to shut up. If you ask them a simple instruction they about, "alright, jesus christ chill !" at you and make comments about how their old teacher is so much better, can actually teach etc.
Fortunately there are some lovely and hardworking students who I have never had issues with.
I've had 2 girls pretend to throw up when I walked past and say out loud "she's horrible".
I've managed to get some students on side and they know I expect the work to be done or it will result in a detention.
I had a class who behaved brilliantly and my last lesson with them I bought some biscuits. One girl whispered "Why the fuck is she handing out biscuits she's fucking weird".
There are of course known troublemakers who play up for every single teacher, but I feel like a failure when I see the other teachers getting so much respect, as I feel I am very fair.
I've only been there 3 weeks and don't know if I can take the constant nastiness and rudeness. If a peer were speaking to me like that I would just shut them down, but in school we have to be the example and be professional. What would you do ?

Nailed behaviour *

OP you sound like you care too much about this. Adolescents will perceive this as neediness & a craving to be liked and will react badly to that. Be aloof. Just don't give two shits.

She réprimanded him in front of the entire class for a good 5 minutes, and she just n'aimes behaviour from the start

No. Really, really no.

It’s a terrible way to manage behaviour.

Don't shout and scream at them. Teacher baiting is the most fun for them when it works.

Keep at it - keep being calm and consistent and make sure you go through with sanctions every time. What's your department like? We have a detention rota that we mark and follow up every time. Don't turn up for break detention and there's no second chance - it's now an after school. It's not a miracle answer but of you're all singing from the same hymn sheet it really helps.

As is screaming.

The ones that are in your lessons and are not responding or accessing, have you asked the senco for the support plans? The ones that are not send might have behaviour passports. Ask for them and use the strategies. They are likely to be waiting for you to leave like everyone else in their lives

I work in a very deprived area. You need to change your perspective when you’re teaching and dealing with children who come from deprived, and often neglected homes. Not all obviously, but most of these children will not automatically give you respect; and if you expect them to to automatically give it to you, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Sometimes you just have to work harder to get these kids onside.

I feel for you OP, my NQT year in a similar school, my very first lesson, I was called an ugly c*nt by a year 10 pupil.

My advice, be firm, but fair. Also, realise that these kids often don’t have consequences at home, so if they are going to behave it’s because they like you, not because there is a real need. Take time to get to know them, speak to them kindly, as hard as it is, work to show them you care and they will change their behaviour.

The best teacher I ever shadowed taught a remedial English Lit (poetry) class to failing Y11 boys. She kept them so busy they didn't have a second to be troublesome. I couldn't keep up with what she did, and I only took notes. And they worked hard and produced very thoughtful work for her, but not for other teachers. Miss Young, I genuflect.

An example is, in our school, no coats to be worn inside. A pupil wears a coat inside. We have teachers who will say

‘Excuse me ‘James’ you know the rules, no coats, take that off now’ pupil will immediately react badly, either rolling their eyes and answering back, or ignoring.

Or you can say

‘James, can you do me a favour and take that coat off for me, thank you’

9/10 using the second scenario the pupil will say ‘alright miss’ and do it.

I had hell in my NQT year. Looking back I just wished I'd cared a bit less. If student A doesn't do anything this lesson, show they don't get any attention for it. Don't rise to it. I get to go home to my wonderful home life. You gave them biscuits, they were rude as fuck. So what, it just shows they are rude twats who probably won't get anywhere in life. Chin up, it's just a job.

I took five pages of notes for an hour long lesson..........

My advice from years spent in tough schools is to make sure you don’t react at all to the nasty comments sometimes pretending you can’t hear then, rise above tactically ignoring is a great technique but do document all bad behaviour and make sure appropriate people know what’s happening , I find a phone call home to parents is often affective even if they are not that supportive when you ring
Make sure you are as positive with these kids as much as possible and emphasise you are there long term in their lives
Best of luck

There is no effective way to deal with pupils such as you are dealing with - they will have chaotic always led chaotic live and place absolutely no valence on education no things which reasonable people consider to be the norm ie role appropriate behaviour - please do not raise your voice - a little head tilt and a sardonic smile works wonders as it baffles them - they are after any a response - and won’t know if their attempts to destabilise you will have worked YOU ARE A WONDERFUL TEACHER/ROLE MODEL - don’t let the buggers grind you down 👍🏿

It doesn't work like that. They aren't going to automatically respect you, respect is earned. You sound very naive, they're teenagers, pushing boundaries is what they do.

I cannot believe this?!

So this would be your response if your teenage children spoke to a new teacher in this manner?!

No wonder they are behaving the way they do.

If they did this at work, they'd be sacked or as adults reported to the police for harassment.

Throw them outside the class room, give them detentions, etc.

You hear them whispering, go back to the table and make them repeat it and then throw them out of the class.

Separate the ones who whisper to each other.

The issue is, if SLT don't back you up and there's no real consequence for their behaviour (and them not caring much even if there are) there is not a lot you can do.

You are new,they don't know you and they definitely don't trust you. Keep doing what you are doing be firm,but fair. Things should improve once they realise you are there to stay and that you give a damn.

I'm a TA and in primary but that behaviour isn't unheard of even with the younger ones. On my first day I've had a y6 threaten to punch me in my fucking fat face. We are in a deprived area with a high number of kids with SEND, SEMH and very poor/chaotic home lives.

I've had classes that made supplies run out in tears and refuse to return.

For the trickiest classes alongside any behaviour strategy and consistency it took time. Sometimes if felt like a really long time.

I remember one class used to goad their teacher to see if "she'll lose it". Most of the time she didn't,but rarely she did. They found it hilarious. It wasn't even necessarily malicious.

There is no effective way to deal with pupils such as you are dealing with

Not true.

**
Today 20:41 MyuMe
Are you a teacher?

I remember many years ago an older, wiser teacher told me that nothing kids said to him phased him cos he knew he'd already'won': he had an education, house, partner, car, disposable income and could go home to that every night.

No frigging wonder there's a teacher recruitment crisis. I can't imagine the stress of going to work and being treated like this.

These kids sound feral and absolutely foul. Good luck, op, you have my respect.

The ones who behave like this at 14/15/16 are the ones our visiting prison officer marks out as likely guests of the Mountbatten-Windsor Hotel group in 10 years time. His visits are intended as a warning call but some idiots regard it as a challenge.

Throw them outside the class room, give them detentions, etc.

Entirely pointless if SLT don't back you up. Even more pointless if what they actually want is to be out of class. I remember one teacher sent two kids out if the classroom (which was also against school policy) one was upset and lingered near the door (fairly good kid, but the teacher had to work hard to repair that relationship) , but the other went out skipping like he just won the lottery. He hated that particular lesson and didn't want to be there.

Sure call SLT, make sure they are removed, with work so they don't get out of it. Just kicking them out doesn't solve anything, if anything it ensures the behaviour will continue if it gets them out of it.

These kids sound feral and absolutely foul

They are the product of their lives. This attitude towards of them helps no one.

Smile, born to different parents and under other circumstances, it could have been anyone's life. It's really not fair to say foul and feral. Poor parenting, I'd struggle to disagree, but where do we learn parenting skills?

My previous post should have gone to TenLittleCygnets.

You are getting some great advice here, and some terrible advice. I do hope you can decide correctly which is which.

I teach in a school for kids with behaviour problems, and I've taught some of the most challenging kids you can imagine over the years.
My 'top tips':
Calm and consistent. Apply the behaviour policy without emotion. Act as if you have no control over it- "oh dear, that'll have to be a detention. I was so hoping you'd avoid that".
Ignore the secondary behaviour- I cannot stress this enough. You tell them off for not working, they mumble as they strop off- ignore. Focus on the original behaviour you were challenging.
Don't argue with them. State your case, don't get drawn in.
Make positives personal, keep negatives focused on the behaviour. "You're so fabulous at writing poems" rather than "this is great writing" but "It's not acceptable to write on books" rather than "You are a vandal!"
Always give them somewhere to go. If you back them into a corner, they will fight. Take the wind out of their sails. "That's not a nice thing to say, is it?" Will be much more effective than "How dare you, who do you think you're talking to?"
Ask nicely, even if you don't think they deserve it. "Could you tuck your shirt in please sweetheart?" with a smile, will work a hundred times more often than "sort out that uniform, you're a disgrace".
Praise all the positives. As often as possible. Catch them being good as often as you can.
Smile and look as though you're pleased to see them. We talk a lot in my job about 'unconditional positive regard'. Every lesson is a fresh start. Fake it till you make it.
Become selectively deaf. Act like you don't hear the comments in the corridors. If they're sniggering at you, and they catch your eye, smile warmly as if you assume they're smiling at you.

Finally, and this is important: stop being hung up on how you think things should be, and focus on how things are. Of course they should respect you, you shouldn't have to deal with horrible behaviour etc. But it is what it is. You either find strategies to deal with it or you don't. But the non-teachers on here telling you to 'come down hard on them' don't have to do your job each day, and basically don't have a clue. If that worked, we wouldn't have a problem, would we?

Good luck!

Don't be a victim. They're kids. Stop giving a toss about what they think about your face. Plan better lessons, that's it.