Mumsnet threads you know the answer to before you even open them

[daddyorchipsdaddyorchips]

You know, the ones that ask a question on the thread and you know full well the answer before you've even clicked through.

Should I leave him? - Yes. Run for the fucking hills

DH says this is all in my head, is it? - No. He's a cunt

Is this normal in a relationship? - No, definitely not. And don't let him make you think it is either

Should I text him or leave it? Leave it. But we know you won't. Come back again tomorrow when he's ignored you again

Should we separate? Without a doubt

Are these red flags? North Korea, mate.

What are yours?

[MedSchoolRat]

AIBU to hate everyone on Facebook for not being miserable like me?

-Yes totally YANBU. I feel just the same.

[PortiaCastis]

My shed roof has blown off and I don't know what to do

Blame Meghan
The witch-hunt is still going

[OhioOhioOhio]

This is the best thread in ages.

[We3kingsoforientareandabump]

Mumsnet: fill in this survey for a chance to win a £100 voucher.

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[Ilovetolurk]

Not inspired by active threads in any way

I said my neighbour could keep his car, freezer, motorcycle, guinea pigs and five members of his extended family in my garage whilst he went to Butlins for the weekend, but three years on he is showing no signs of moving them out. WIBU to ask him to clear some room for my new trowel and secateurs?

[CassandrasCastle]

@Lupiaza most accurate post ever!

[SashayThatWay]

Omg I've discovered an amazing new use for XYZ product!

(And no I absolutely don't work in the marketing department of XYZ product!)

[LolaSmiles]

OP: AIBU to think (insert generally accepted bragging or annoying behaviour here) is irritating.
Most people: YANBU (everyone shared anecdotes of mildly irritating examples
Odd Replies: YABU. You must be jealous/have an empty life you have time to worry about that.


OP: AIBU to think the office arsehole is an arsehole (complete with story of arsehole behaviour)
Reply: YABU maybe they have autism/dementia

[BrickTop999]

My exhausted husband who works 80 hours a week was too tired to bath the baby tonight. Im a SAHM - AIBU to be annoyed and upset, in fact Im fuming and livid..... not at all - LTB he’ll never changed

I just wanted to ask if Meg..... YES YANBU -now fuck off and die

Can I ask about your thoughts on porn ..... hears pearls clanking

[Notso]

Any post listing a potential meal,

Needs more protein

Too much sugar.

Not nearly enough food. My perfect weight two year old would inhale that and follow it with a gallon of milk and a three course meal.

All that for one person, no wonder there's an obesity crisis. My perfect weigh 7 foot 16 year old burns a trillion calories a day playing sport at county level and would eat one mouthful of that and be full for the rest of his life.

[LaBelleSauvage]

Teacher gave DS detention for NO REASON. DS says the girl hit herself in the face. He doesn't lie and I could tell if he had. AIBU that the teacher is out to get DS? It's breaking his precious spirit.

YABU
YABU
YABU
YABU
YABU
But does he have ADHD/SEN/PDA ASD
YABU
YABU
YABU
YABU
Teachers can lie too you know
YABU
YABU
I once saw a teacher have half a shandy on a school trip
YABU
YABU

[FordPrefect42]

Is this autism?
List of very obviously ASD traits that literally could not be anything else

Like, of course it is, but I think you knew that already, no?

[CustomerCervixDepartment]

‘My new lover of 4 hours is really good with my kids. He terrorises them and treats me like fucking trash. I love him. He said blah blah. He thinks blah blah. He just came in and blaaaah blah. How can I get my kids to not anger him, he’s wonderful.’
‘Parent your kids, ditch the lover’

‘I LOVE HIM [eyes go demonic] hE’s GoOd witH mY kidS, I don’t care about the kids, my sex like is priority here, you’re all bitches, can we focus on my current lover and his opinions please.’ (Minus the punctuation.)

[CustomerCervixDepartment]

‘My boyfriend does this abusive behaviour consistently.’

‘He must be depressed.’
Fuck the entire way off.

[pallisers]

I gave my children carrot sticks, apple, cheese and bread for snack. AIBU to think this is ok

You might as well give them a bowl of sugar or a kitkat.

[Rastamousehat]

What have you eaten today?
99% MN - kale smoothie, handful of almonds, air salad and because I'd had a stressful day, a thimble of wine, and a quarter of a square of dark chocolate
1% MN - toast, boots meal deal, spag bol.....

OmG - bread!!!! I hope you dont give your children bread, this is tantamount to negligence and just cause to call the NSPCC

[Sparklingbrook]

‘Do you have a TV in your bedroom?’

Admitting you do is very very bad indeed. Points for replies mentioning ‘bedrooms are just for sleeping’ and ‘sleep hygiene’.
Admitting your DC also do is even worse.
But first prize must be reserved for the posters saying they don’t even own a TV. They will be the ones watching Netflix on their laptops in bed presumably.

[nakedavengeragain]

'How often do you wash your towels/bedsheets'

768 responses consisting of:
33.3% every week
33.3% every week is disgusting! I burn all the bedsheets after an hour of use to be on the safe side. You are grim
33.3% if you wash your towels/bedsheets more than every 3 months you are single handedly causing climate change and you need to see a GP regarding your anxiety levels. You are mad and have too much time on your hands.

[nakedavengeragain]

'Hubby's hotel booking for 2'

612 responses consisting of:
50% 'it's normal'
50% suggest elaborate ways of entrapment e.g.
'Get a receptionist job with Marriot and surprise him when he checks in with OW'
'Call up hotel pretending to be CEO of Readers Digest saying he's won their $1m lottery and you need to speak to him and his wife urgently to release the funds and see if they tell you they are both there'

There is also a Venn diagram between the two factions who will also say 'YABU for calling him 'hubby', this isn't Netmums'

[isabellerossignol]

Every morning I leave for work at the same time as my neighbours. They always give me a wave and say hello.

Aw, that's nice, it's great to be on good terms with your neighbours. My neighbours are horrible, I'd love to have friendly neighbours.

Cheeky bastards, they're only doing this because they want to use you for something in future. Ignore them.

I'm a very private person, I would hate it if a neighbour who had seen me every day for ten years waved and said hello, how dare they, interfering nosey busybodies with nothing better to do. I bet they sit in the house every morning waiting until they see you leave just so that they can leave at the same time so that they can see what you're wearing. I hate people like that. I was in a full body cast for six months once and my neighbour actually said to me that she had noticed me struggling in and out and she hoped I was on the mend, and offered to help if I needed it. Nosey bitch. I put the house on the market the next day and moved to the Scottish Highlands and I haven't spoken to anyone for the past seven years. That taught her.

[UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre]

I mean less so now, but Do people remember
any AIBU post where the op was even slightly unreasonable
“Are you sniffing glue”

[Scarsthelot]

'Can you give me you opinion on this argument?'

You both sound ridiculous.

'This happen with my dp/ adult child at work at work and he is devastated (mentions fairly minor incident)'

He needs to get a grip

'Well actually he has asd, so you are all bitches'

'Can I have advice from women with carers that earn well. Dont know what direction to take?

50% posters give decent factual advice with a decent wage

20% posters saying a career isntt everything and follow you heart (no advice on how to pay the bills).

20% posters fell into a job and earn 100k plus

5% didnt go to uni and managed to get a decent job.

5% come and tell that people boasting about their wages make them sick and its boastful. Everyone should keep quote and never mention how they built their career. Because it makes others feel bad. These threads make them feel bad and everyone else is responsible for making them depressed

[TheMemoryLingers]

"I was in a local pub-restaurant (think Greene King, Brewers Fayre, Toby Carvery etc.) having a meal with my husband and 8 year old DD. There were 19 kids aged 3 - 12 at the next table, with their mum. First of all these kids started running around waving machetes in the air and throwing knives at random diners., Then one of them grabbed DD's iPad and smashed it. The oldest one picked up my husband's plate and threw it at us. Finally, they set fire to our table and danced round it shouting "Die, you fuckers!" All the time, their mum was glued to her phone. AIBU to think she should have intervened?"

• YABU - you were young too once, OP.
  
• Nice bit of single mum bashing, OP
  
• Get your judgy pants off, OP. The children might have had SEN.
  
• YABU to let your daughter use an iPad. Family meals should be an opportunity to talk together.
  
• The pub sounds like a den of iniquity - you were vv U to take your kids there.
  
• Was it the Red Lion in Upper Wiggington, OP? YANBU - it's awful, I once found a used condom in my soup.

[KatherineJaneway]

OP: AIBU?
MN: 99.9% Yes

MNHQ: We're taking this thread down due to privacy concerns

That means OP didn't like the answers so wants to erase the thread

[Procrastination4]

Didn’t want to read and run...this thread is hilarious!