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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about his comment?

199 replies

Teesstar · 12/01/2020 13:43

So I have been seeing a guy for 9 months, I am going through a divorce with a man who was pretty manipulative and abusive so have had support to deal with having good boundaries etc.

Anyway today in a text conversation he has made a comment about my pubic hair! I am not a wax it girl but I trim my bush, I don’t really like being hairless, and ffs it’s my body to decide! He prefers no hair or at least it very trimmed back back I am not livid with his comment about me having a stray hair and that i use any excuse to have hair down there!

Grrrr! I have put him straight saying it’s my body. I just feel pissed off right now! What are your thoughts? My ex husband never had an issue with this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Teesstar · 12/01/2020 13:45
  • now livid!
OP posts:
KerrySebandDanny · 12/01/2020 13:46

Your body your choice. It’s fine for him to have a preference but it sounds like he thinks he has some right to tell you how your body should look.

Tell him you’ll wax when he has a full body wax.

UndomesticHousewife · 12/01/2020 13:47

I wouldn't like this at all. You've been seeing him 9 months so presumably he's seen it a fair few times. He's passive aggressively trying to make you do what he wants/likes, if he makes enough 'jokes' then you'll take the hair off.

Funkyslippers · 12/01/2020 13:47

I'd be pretty livid. Why didn't he say it to your face?

thejollyroger · 12/01/2020 13:48

In a text? What an odd thing for him to do. Tell him to like it or piss off?

Tableclothing · 12/01/2020 13:49

any excuse to have hair down there

He thinks you need an excuse?

Go on, tell us some of the other arsehole comments he's made.

My thoughts - a bloke who isn't thrilled with my body doesn't get to see it. Knowing that he found my body unattractive would kill sex for me stone dead.

ohwheniknow · 12/01/2020 13:50

use any excuse to have hair down there!

That's telling. Get rid of him.

criminalweetabix · 12/01/2020 13:51

What's his pubic hair like? He shouldn't of mentioned it in text but had an adult conversation in person. My partner knows I don't like downstairs to be hairy so he keeps it trim or shaved and I'm the same.

PositiveVibez · 12/01/2020 13:51

Fuck him off. Immature prick.

BorissGiantJohnson · 12/01/2020 13:52

Excuse??? To have hair on your own body? What the fuck?

KatherineJaneway · 12/01/2020 13:53

Is he fully waxed down there?

june2007 · 12/01/2020 13:53

How about saying, I,ll wax when you do? See how he feels about that.

TheRealShatParp · 12/01/2020 13:54

This would piss me off, too.

MitziK · 12/01/2020 13:54

Surely, by the time anybody gets to see whether there is any hair or not, it's staggeringly ungrateful to have any opinion either way?

He obviously has no need to ever see that area ever again.

OrangeSlices998 · 12/01/2020 13:55

Your body your choice.

What a prick.

iklboo · 12/01/2020 13:55

'Any excuse'? What, like being a post pubescent adult female human? Fuck that.

Ladyratterley · 12/01/2020 14:03

“Any excuse” to have (neatly trimmed) hair where a grown woman would naturally have hair?! What a nob.
I would be really annoyed too. I bet he doesn’t wax his ball sack does he?!

CrazyToast · 12/01/2020 14:06

He's trying to shame/manipulate you. Tosser. I had a boyfriend mock my pubic hair once. Immediate death of relationship. Seriously though, does he make other little comments? Will he start now? If you still can stand him, I would see how he reacts to this, but don't let him start with this negging shit.

2MapleMuffins · 12/01/2020 14:20

yeah. It's trying to shame you, or control you or make you feel insecure.

been there. Not worth it. Totally not worth it.

Praise the Lord i have a DH now who thinks every hair on my foof head is fantastic.

red flag OP. Sorry Thanks

Original poster
Teesstar · 12/01/2020 14:26

Thanks ladies. Glad I am not just being too sensitive on this matter!

Up until now he has always been really respectful, says my body is lovely cause he knows I have poor self esteem, but this weekend he has made two inappropriate comments that have been a bit hurtful.
He is otherwise ok, pretty romantic, he has been slow to bring me into his life, but then in some ways so have i with him.

I am happy on my own and have no intentions of this getting mega serious, so I just enjoy the nice times we have, but if I get anymore of this kind of drivel I will be shutting the relationship down and moving on!

OP posts:
FreedomfromPE · 12/01/2020 14:27

You've done the right thing. He can get gone. If he finds fault with your naturally occurring hair on your body that's his issue. Absolutely nothing to change your behaviour over.

He's not interested enough to respect you. Nasty.

Sundancer77 · 12/01/2020 14:27

Eurgh, this would put me right off, how dare he really!

I’d end it over this personally.

peanutbutterandfluff · 12/01/2020 14:36

I would be LIVID too. One of my exes was like this. First it was little comments on clothes, on makeup, on hair...when I called him out, he said the classic “Well I would want to know if the situation was reversed.” Prick. My current partner has never ever commented on anything except for compliments.

I would dump him. I can’t stand men who think they should have any opinion on women’s bodies.

LolalolaLola · 12/01/2020 14:39

He thinks you need an excuse? Wow.

Daftodil · 12/01/2020 14:39

Say "Do you really want to start critiquing what's in each other's pants?"

YANBU - it would piss me off. A) because he put it in a text b) because he thinks it's important enough to mention at all anyway and c because he thinks you need "an excuse" to have pubic hair, and d) because (I assume) you weren't asking for his opinion in the first place!