Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

It could be worse, imagine if she was a vegan too.

She'd explode from martyrdom.

I actually think the way to tackle this is to not give fuel to the fire.

My husband works in a public sector IT job. Every time someone gives him crap about 'gold plated pensions' (he doesn't have a final salary pension, it's about 30 years since those were on the go), and 'easy street' and 'you'd never cope in the private sector' he just agrees with them, tells them he barely works 20 hours a week, only turns up when he feels like it, takes weeks and weeks off sick every year and the best thing is that everyone else is paying for it. It's pretty clear he is being sarcastic, but there's not much come back from that.

So my suggestion would be just to agree with her that her life is harder than everyone else's and see if that stops her in her tracks.

I have two daughters. A teacher and a nurse. They both have incredibly stressful jobs, but in very different ways. And of course they envy each other different things. Teacher envies nurse not having to plan her work, and thinks she'd prefer nurse's flexible 3-4 long day shifts a week. Nurse envies teacher's holidays, and that she can plan ahead because they're fixed.

So yep both difficult jobs, both being screwed by the government, both get stressed, and are then prone to thinking the other has the better of the good bits. I have to gently remind them that there are pros and cons to both, and would they really want to swap? And of course they admit that they wouldn't.

oooh great another mn teacher bashing thread.

Convenient that you are a nurse, and in other things that never happened.....

Hi SmileEachDay

People like playing ' top trumps' these days I'm afraid. It's about everything being worse than you have it or whatever. Seems to be a trend.
It very much is, and sadly some people can't support their friends offloading without turning it into a competition.

I'd rather be a nurse than a teacher OP.

root : yup. Exactly the same.

Not engaging in the one upmanship but actually have seen two young people die and lost 4 students to murder. Nothing compared to A and E nurses but these were children I knew, not strangers.

Some teachers have also been killed whilst at work so let's not pretend teaches don't face grief, attacks, harassment and hardship.

I think teaching is quite unique in its combination of performance and thinking on your feet for 6.5 hours, constantly making decisions, being in control of various groups of children working at a different level, managing adults etc often with insufficient resources, plus the admin and planning / marking that is incredibly time consuming. Undeniably the teaching is the most enjoyable part but it's very physically draining. Constant exposure to viruses and strain on your voice. In that way I can see its similar to nursing.

Interestingly a few mum friends of mine helped on a school trip in year 1 recently. After just 2 hours of managing their behaviour and safety, getting them to listen to instructions etc they said they were exhausted. They each had a group of 4 children. In a whole class situation you will be managing friendships, family issues, health problems, allergies, learning difficulties, emotional issues, undiagnosed special needs, all whilst making sure each child makes progress.

Reading 30 stories written by 9 year olds, all different, up to 4 pages long, marking and giving useful feedback takes a long time. Preparing individual resources for those who can't access the curriculum is also time consuming. There will most likely be children in your class who need 1:1 support but there's no funding. Your TA will be snatched away at a moments notice to cover sickness. No more glue sticks as budget has run out. Etc.

In that way I can see its similarities to nursing, I mean.

Thanks @Umberta.

The job is great in many ways. But I am pretty tired of the constant mistrust and having to defend myself over and over.

There are two responses when you tell people that you’re a teacher:

1. I couldn’t do that. Teenagers are so difficult.

2. Great holidays, what a doss. I suppose someone has to.

this person is usually slating schools, the teaching profession, our pension plan etc in a Daily Mail style within about five minutes. I usually just agree with them now. It saves time.

What is brilliant is that it filters down to their kids who they tell me in front of the whole class that (and I quote) ‘Only people who hate kids become teachers’. Fantastic. Trust level of 0.

YANBU however when I've had jobs with set hours/can only take place in a certain place, I've weathered the storms better.

(Plus my understanding was that teaching is quite personally accountable
whereas nurses are part of a team and chain of command, though prepared to be shot down in flames and was just a general musing....)

UK minimum holiday allowance is 5.6 weeks for a full time employee, but don't let that stand in the way of a good goad.

It's 28 days and includes 8 days of bank holiday. So four weeks of holiday leave plus bank holidays.

continue to be good friends

Doesn't sound like it. If your job is so difficult surely you would want to use your time outside work with people who don't make you want to start bile spitting threads seeking validation from strangers on an internet forum?

Never mind. I'm sure the response to this gave you what you were looking for.

I couldn’t do either job, quite frankly, and both are difficult in their own ways. That being said, YANBU, and your friend’s constant one upmanship is tedious and rude.

Next time she starts it, tell her, “I’m so sorry to hear how bad your teaching job is. You should retrain for a new career. As an A&E nurse, maybe? You can deal with gunshot and knife wounds, victims of car accidents and domestic violence, dying patients, hysterical relatives, and blood every day. Perhaps you'd like that better.”

What she does she teach? Because if it’s primary she’s a fucking wet wipe!

Can you explain what you mean by this?

5.6 weeks is 28 days, I copied it from the government website. Theres no reason to say 4 weeks plus bank holidays when making a comparison with teachers' 13 weeks which includes bank holidays.

nurses = angels

Haven’t you heard? All nurses do is stand around the nurses station eating sweets and chatting shit...

Tbh I think society in general is pretty ungrateful of any role people perform. I can’t think of one universally respected.

I also have a teacher friend who talks about how difficult it is and all the planning but the reality is the planning pretty much brings her up to a normal day in my workplace plus she gets all the holidays off while I only get 20 days a year! So I understand how fed up you are!!! I am in Ireland too and teachers get almost 3 months off during the summer!!!! Yet still constantly moaning about how hard her job is.

DS2 is a nurse in A&E. He worked Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Years Eve. He regularly does a 13hr shift without having the chance to have a pee. He's had people call him a cunt because they've been kept waiting too long, in their opinion, minutes after being unable to save lives. I could not do his, or your job OP, for all the money in the world.

I think your friend is being unreasonable banging on about how hard she works and if I were you I'd tell her to pack it in or I wasn't meeting up with her anymore. I can't be doing with people like her.

Haven’t you heard? All nurses do is stand around the nurses station eating sweets and chatting shit...

I think I have probably seen one post ever on MN saying nurses were chatting at the nurse station. There are teacher bashing posts on a weekly basis.

This post in particular-nurse complains about her moaning teacher friends who say their job is MUCH harder than anyone else in the world-has been done very recently. It’s only ever posted by nurses.

Do you see, OP, how your title and subsequent focus on what your friend’s job is has turned this into a teacher bashing thread?

The holidays are not paid

issabellerossignol with all due respect the local governmemt pension scheme was final salary until 2014. Civil service similar.

DH and I are now both quasi public sector. We both work 55/60 hours pw. Fantastic pay and benefits
We both come from commercial professional backgrounds.
We would never, ever complain to any stakeholder about the pressure ofnpur roles because it is spectacularly unprofessional.
I have been truly shocked at the extent to which teachers/nurses/midwives/hvs etc continually complain to parents/clients about their jobs. My children are grown up now but I am still shocked at the extent of the complaining. It is so unprofessional and their was and is utter disregard for the fact that many many other people work very very hard as well.

You save lives (thank you), she doesn't, end of story. Tell her to STFU.

@PlomBear come on... you know that's not fair.