Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

Nurses are just glorified care assistants (and its really easy to get in to the degree).

Stand around chatting and don't actually have any responsibility, paid over time too.

A more imaginatively based teacher-bashing thread.

This is the first time I've seen a direct comparison with another job. Oh, apart that whinging pharmacist some months back. That was choice.

Guaranteed gigantic shit on teachers as per usual
Has there ever been a thread that bashes nurses? No.

Well done you, OP.

Bin your mate off and do her a favour instead of posting a goady thread about her job.

I think there are good things about both jobs though. I have seen nurses around my aged mother who have been less than great. Just doing a job but with not much good grace or interest in the patient. I’ve also seen amazing teachers and ones who are teaching in their 60s because they love it.

I’ve also been a parent/governor helper on school trips and it’s been great. I’m not stressed out and neither were the teachers. The DC singing their songs so loudly was the most annoying aspect of trips. Not all DC are monsters and most are wonderful. I really don’t get the moaning.

Also I think most teachers just want people to
acknowledge that they work hard and then this is perceived as them saying they work harder than anyone else when that isn't what is being said.
Also long hours and hard work are two separate things that sometimes but not always go together if that makes sense? My DH works very long hours but he is the first to admit that what he does in those hours is not as hard as what I do. I would not want to work his hours and respect the difficulty that brings but he would not want to work at the pace and level of constant effort I do. The issue comes when people do not accept what others say about their work which seems to happen more with teaching because everyone things they know what the job entails more so than other professions.

@malylis nurses have no responsibility? Tell that to the ones who have been to coroners courts, who prescribe medication, who work in nurse led units...yeah no responsibility at all, idiot

She sounds like hard work. Interesting that she's come in from the "real world" and found this.

Shall we extend the thread to be a bit more goady? How about SAHMs with school age children, who complain how exhausted they are on a Friday.... every Friday?

Someone doesn't understand the point of my post.

Lacking in all departments.

How about SAHMs with school age children, who complain how exhausted they are on a Friday.... every Friday?
They don't know what tired is.
All teachers I know work 37 hours a day, 8 days a week. They often manage to go 6 weeks on 3 grapes because they're so busy.
I wish people understood that our lives are so much more difficult than anyone else's ever.

No-one forces anyone to do any job, so she is free to leave. She is also free to get a job outside the public sector.

I have relatives who teach and nurse, fireman etc, but don't expect our only conversations to be About how their life is harder than everyone else.

I've worked as both a teacher and before that a nurse. They are just different but having to tend to children with burns in A and E and you know one of them won't make it and their parents are waiting outside well that trumps the stress barometer. What grinds you down in teaching is relentless targets and paperwork and observations and all the other shit not connected to interaction with kids.

Teachers are ridiculously overworked. I think your job is hard in a different way. I have a friend who's a nurse and I'm a teacher and we've had the beginnings of this argument and I quickly saw we were in danger zone so moved on. Frankly, I bore myself with my negative thoughts on my own profession so resist talking about it with others. Just say 'I love you, your my friend but can we please talk about something else?'

@LolaSmiles 😂😂😂 off to eat one of my grapes!

it doesnt matter what job you do shes being unreasonable..
there's so such thing as job top trumps for how hard it is .
Teaching is a choice she could leave and finf something easier.

@amijust...you've obviously got some issues. Bitter grapes perhaps?

Meh. I've worked in three entirely different professions now, and teaching was far and away the worst in terms of workload. I stuck it for two years, but every term was light a dark tunnel I'd emerge from into the light of a few days' respite when the holidays came found. It was no way to live. I'm sure there are other shit jobs out there, but that doesn't mean teaching is easy.

issabellerossignol with all due respect the local governmemt pension scheme was final salary until 2014. Civil service similar.

Sorry. I had just assumed that it was the same throughout the UK. Obviously its different in the different regions. I'm in my mid 40s and have never had access to a final salary pension scheme when I've worked in the public sector. My husband has been in his public sector job for 19 years and doesn't have a final salary pension and my sister has been in hers for 18 years and doesn't have one.

What grinds you down in teaching is relentless targets and paperwork and observations and all the other shit not connected to interaction with kids.

YES.

Ask her what jobs she’s applied for in different sectors - every time she complains.

When she tells you she hasn't applied for alternative professions - express shock and tell her it can’t be that bad then otherwise she’d be looking to move fields?

I’m utterly bored by people moaning about their jobs - if it’s that bad change jobs.

Teaching in some schools can be completely draining and depressing. I think (some) people just don't comprehend how exhausting it is to get 30+ young people just to listen/interact/learn all day long. With a tough class it is so draining just to keep their attention for 6+ hours, let alone get them to make rapid progress in several subjects, resource, plan, teach, lead meetings, mark, assess, manage and calm the violent children, support the emotional ones, direct the vulnerable families to the right support, comfort the anxious and depressed children (of which there seem to be increasing numbers these days). And then you get the added pleasure of being called lovely things such as a "wet wipe", or being told to STFU, for your efforts and stress. Or told that "you didn't see someone die so your stress doesn't count".

I completely agree that so many jobs these days have different stresses and are also horribly exhausting for so many reasons. Like others have said, it's not a competition.

It must be draining to listen to your friend complaining. But as a teacher I do have some sympathy for her. Teaching has nearly broken me. Luckily for me, retirement is on the not too distant horizon. I feel sorry for young teachers who will have to keep going until they're nearly 70. I can't really see how that could even be possible.

I sometimes moan about my job to my friends. They sometimes moan about their (different) jobs to me. We just listen to and support each other. Maybe your friend is just stressed up to the eyeballs and genuinely feels near breaking point and needs some help. Maybe just be frank with her and say she sounds really unhappy and talk about ways she might find some support. Say something like "look, I know you don't really think my job in A&E is easy. (Because she won't really think that. She's just wrapped up in and blinded by her own particular stress). You sound really unhappy. Do you think you might need time off for stress/to look for a different school/to find a different job...?" etc.

I think this thread is quite vitriolic in places and has gone off at a tangent with the teacher bashing/nurse vs teacher comments.

The OP (if you can remember that far back) isn't saying how dare the teacher whinge about how difficult her job is when she (the OP) is an A&E nurse. It's the teacher telling the OP that her job is so much easier while banging on endlessly about how difficult her own job is. The OP isn't the one playing top trumps.

Anyone who only has one topic of conversation is tedious to be with. OP the only think you can do is gradually withdraw from the friendship. It might seem sad, but she's not going to have a lightbulb moment where she realises what she's doing and change the record. She's probably the same to everyone so she's soon going to run out of audiences.

@fedup21 I think I have probably seen one post ever on MN saying nurses were chatting at the nurse station. There are teacher bashing posts on a weekly basis

Confirmation bias though isn’t it? I see a lot of nurse/doctor/NHS negativity on here but that’s because I’m drawn to those subjects given my industry (I’m not a nurse I must add).

I very rarely read educational threads because they don’t interest me. I’m aware of the animosity that floats around though.

It’s not a competition unless you make it one.

They often manage to go 6 weeks on 3 grapes because they're so busy

Although that’s a good thing because often they can’t go to the toilet for 4 or 5 days at a time.

I'm a teacher. yanbu! My friend is a primary teacher and she's honestly so fucking boring. Every detail and hardship is gone in to. I've been seeing her less and less, as changing the subject, being blunt and saying I don't want to get hung up on work stuff in free time doesn't work. Cut her off, she is a drain on your precious time.

^ I mean because they’re so busy, not that they’re constipated 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lol @ not being paid for holidays. They get the time off and are paid a salary over the year. For anyone else those would be holidays. But for teachers, apparently not.

Most people with professional jobs have to work evenings and weekends. But no, teachers seem to think they are the only ones.